5/17 c49 Lauren
Hi,
I just wanted to commend you on what you've done here. Almost 10,000 reviews and 6,000 favorite is amazing, and they're more than deserved. I haven't read fanfiction in years, and there have been only a few stories that I've really, truly enjoyed. There are many authors on this site that have talent either in plot-crafting or in their writing abilities- but few have both. I really think you do. I skimmed your first few chapters, not really expecting to read the entire fifty chapters (and certainly not in a few days...) but it was your plot that really dragged me in at first. You set up all these problems, making them almost like riddles I felt I had to solve, and then the pure cleverness of your solutions blew away anything I could ever have imagined. Your writing wasn't fantastic at first, but you knew that. The part you said you struggled the most on- the conversations- weren't all that great. But I think it's a testament to your talent at how much they improved over the fifty chapters and eight years. And eight years? That's a dedication that I also think deserves congratulations. Eight years is a long time to devote to something, but I think the story you have here is worth every minute of it. Your writing by this chapter has become beautiful, and really "breathless" as you suggested. The plot developed from an already clever bit about Snape and Hermione to a complicated entangling that I think even JK Rowling would be proud of. Almost all of the character development has followed the books (in my opinion, at least) but even when it hasn't, you've done a fantastic job of extending the characters thoughts and actions realistically. I could easily find more praise to give. It has been a pleasure to read such a creative and well-written story. Don't give up on it, and I hope you're just as successful in everything else you do! Thank you.
Lauren

5/15 c49 14angelthree117
You need to update!

5/14 c35 angelthree117
You know in the early bit of this chapter you wrote Proffesor Snape saying at first that he had been teaching dunderheads for 12 years, and then in the next paragraph he said 16 years? It's when he's preparing to talk to Rink, after Hermione leaves.

5/12 c45 9excessivelyperky
Well, if I were still hopelessly in love with someone as unforgiving and self-righteous as Lily, I might not cared if I lived or died either...but Snape is in love with Hermione, or at least realizing that she might be in love with him, and with the *real* him, too, Dark Mark and all. No wonder his deathwish is beginning to fade a tad.

But your Harry is closer to the real sixth book Harry, and not the Auto Reset Harry we got in DH, which bore no resemblance whatsoever. I don't blame Harry for not trusting Dumbledore; once he found out that Albus knew he was being abused at the Dursleys and did nothing, anything thing the old wizard said would be tainted. I wonder what Snape will do when he finds out the kid is a pig set up for slaughter?

As for Albus himself, I am pleasantly surprised that he feels any guilt about Snape or Harry; he didn't seem to in canon. And in this story, he seemed positively put out that Hermione brought in a Healer to save Snape's life. But it's so like him to admit to ah, mistakes (allowed Snape to be nearly murdered by his charming lads) and then console himself that it all worked out for the Greater Good.

5/11 c50 3Roderich Edelstein0522
Love your story... Please, FINISH IT

5/7 c31 Guest
The chess game is wrong. In the real wizards chess from the series, the pieces DID move on their own, commanded by the voice of the player, and they smashed the other bits rather than "taking" them. This is nothing but muggle chess.

Also, check your sources on Bloody Mary. None of those are the origin of the legend.

5/8 c12 1Equal-Opportunity-Reader
If Snape ever finds out exactly who 'Hermy' is, his brain is going to be so boggled.