for The Lion's Words8/31/2012 c1 
1CuteDawgz42
When Maril asked Aslan if she was going to die and he started crying, I want to hug Aslan and lick that tear trickling down his muzzle to comfort him.
1CuteDawgz42When Maril asked Aslan if she was going to die and he started crying, I want to hug Aslan and lick that tear trickling down his muzzle to comfort him.
3/21/2012 c1 Friend of Narnia
This story is amazing! Thank you so much for writing this! It's very interesting to see into Jadis' rise to rule. I love how you portrayed Aslan and your character Maril. Maril seems so real, and my heart ached when she said "Will I die?" and when she described her fearlessness and trust in Aslan during her death and afterwords. I love and applaud how you portrayed Aslan! It was so much in the style of C.S. Lewis and true to the character. You're an amazing writer. Please don't stop. One last thing: "FOR NARNIA!"
This story is amazing! Thank you so much for writing this! It's very interesting to see into Jadis' rise to rule. I love how you portrayed Aslan and your character Maril. Maril seems so real, and my heart ached when she said "Will I die?" and when she described her fearlessness and trust in Aslan during her death and afterwords. I love and applaud how you portrayed Aslan! It was so much in the style of C.S. Lewis and true to the character. You're an amazing writer. Please don't stop. One last thing: "FOR NARNIA!"
4/8/2010 c1 Rom 109
It made me cry and smile at the same time! You truly do have a gift with words! Don't ever give up writing because of what someone else says. Remember, "You only fail when you stop getting back up again."
It made me cry and smile at the same time! You truly do have a gift with words! Don't ever give up writing because of what someone else says. Remember, "You only fail when you stop getting back up again."
11/23/2009 c1 9floppyearsthebunny
Coming back to this fiction after finding it two years ago, I still think it is very well written. I love the faithfulness and realness of your character. Very well done!
9floppyearsthebunnyComing back to this fiction after finding it two years ago, I still think it is very well written. I love the faithfulness and realness of your character. Very well done!
8/14/2009 c1 arthur piantadosi
It's interesting to read about the first dynasty of Frank and Helen, all right.
It's interesting to read about the first dynasty of Frank and Helen, all right.
12/29/2008 c1 4Dawgabs
Wow. That was incredibly good, especially for your first fanfic!
I loved it! It was absolutely moving.
4DawgabsWow. That was incredibly good, especially for your first fanfic!
I loved it! It was absolutely moving.
1/23/2007 c1 Anonymouse
Beautiful Very good.
Beautiful Very good.
12/15/2005 c1 19DarkLightningEnvy
Wow. That was excellent! I had actually been thinking of writing a fanfiction on how Jadis had come to rule Narnia..now I'll feel bad if I do..
This was really good. I like how you used it in first person of the first Queen of Narnia, and you captured the effect of fear and defeat really well. I like how you write Jadis. She doesn't seem as..vicious..as she usually does, but she's still got the undertone of evil that she needs. I hope you continue writing, and bravo on this fiction.
-DarkLightningEnvy-
-Jess-
19DarkLightningEnvyWow. That was excellent! I had actually been thinking of writing a fanfiction on how Jadis had come to rule Narnia..now I'll feel bad if I do..
This was really good. I like how you used it in first person of the first Queen of Narnia, and you captured the effect of fear and defeat really well. I like how you write Jadis. She doesn't seem as..vicious..as she usually does, but she's still got the undertone of evil that she needs. I hope you continue writing, and bravo on this fiction.
-DarkLightningEnvy-
-Jess-
6/16/2005 c1 25Hiron Otsuki
Wow. That's a really neat fic. I would have classified it with Drama as the primary genre and Tragedy for the second, but whatever floats your boat. I liked this fic, and it gave us a perspective into Just Before.
The "begun with a fantastic dream" sentence was misleading, though. It gives us the sense that everything begins with an actual dream (occuring in REM sleep) when it's more of a night of fantastic revelry.
Just a tip.
I liked it, and I'd like to see more of this kind of stuff. You know what you're talking about, too.
8.5/10
25Hiron OtsukiWow. That's a really neat fic. I would have classified it with Drama as the primary genre and Tragedy for the second, but whatever floats your boat. I liked this fic, and it gave us a perspective into Just Before.
The "begun with a fantastic dream" sentence was misleading, though. It gives us the sense that everything begins with an actual dream (occuring in REM sleep) when it's more of a night of fantastic revelry.
Just a tip.
I liked it, and I'd like to see more of this kind of stuff. You know what you're talking about, too.
8.5/10
6/13/2005 c1 13Writer From Rivendell
Nice, for a first fan fic. There were a few typos here and there-consider running this through spell check or by a beta before reposting-but overall, very nice. I loved your writing style. Keep it up!
13Writer From RivendellNice, for a first fan fic. There were a few typos here and there-consider running this through spell check or by a beta before reposting-but overall, very nice. I loved your writing style. Keep it up!
6/12/2005 c1 6jasonc65
Yipee, we need another Jadis story. I'm curious about what happens to Archenland during the Witch's rule.
6jasonc65Yipee, we need another Jadis story. I'm curious about what happens to Archenland during the Witch's rule.
6/12/2005 c1 9ichthyosaurus
Oh wow! Such beautiful writing you have, really fabulous. A great story of the beginning of the Witch's reign.
9ichthyosaurusOh wow! Such beautiful writing you have, really fabulous. A great story of the beginning of the Witch's reign.
6/11/2005 c1 32Luinlothana
The story is very good and very much in Lewis's style, which is important. I can actually imagine this scene being part of the "Chronicles". there is one thing however that didn't fit much - you mention green grass. And Jadis would have to bring the winter to Narnia before she went there since she couldn't come close to the apple tree when it was still green (which was probably the only reason of her using the winter idea). The story is (as I said) very good though. Especially the scenes of queen Maril going through the castle and the battle near Stone Table had much dramatism and awoke strong emotions. Have you considered writing a stories of the legend spreading and Narnians living under the occupation of the White Whitch? Because seing as you handled this I thing it might be great. And as for now I'm putting this story on my favourites list.
32LuinlothanaThe story is very good and very much in Lewis's style, which is important. I can actually imagine this scene being part of the "Chronicles". there is one thing however that didn't fit much - you mention green grass. And Jadis would have to bring the winter to Narnia before she went there since she couldn't come close to the apple tree when it was still green (which was probably the only reason of her using the winter idea). The story is (as I said) very good though. Especially the scenes of queen Maril going through the castle and the battle near Stone Table had much dramatism and awoke strong emotions. Have you considered writing a stories of the legend spreading and Narnians living under the occupation of the White Whitch? Because seing as you handled this I thing it might be great. And as for now I'm putting this story on my favourites list.