for Pilgrim8/2/2000 c1 
2Bluewing
hey siefer...I dont think thats exactly constructive critisism...I have been out of the country with my band for the last month...not a whole lot of time to be online...so show me some of your work and let me give my two cents...I know this isnt the best story...its not the worst though...and it is short and I have given up on it...so...if you dont like it, suck it!
2Bluewinghey siefer...I dont think thats exactly constructive critisism...I have been out of the country with my band for the last month...not a whole lot of time to be online...so show me some of your work and let me give my two cents...I know this isnt the best story...its not the worst though...and it is short and I have given up on it...so...if you dont like it, suck it!
6/7/2000 c1 1Story Snob
It is a fine beginning to your fic, but it deserves some better grammar. *gives thumbs up to Topie*
1Story SnobIt is a fine beginning to your fic, but it deserves some better grammar. *gives thumbs up to Topie*
5/28/2000 c1 kelly
damn fine begining of a story, hope you get the rest of it, and soon I think you are a brilliant writer. love to see more of you around.
damn fine begining of a story, hope you get the rest of it, and soon I think you are a brilliant writer. love to see more of you around.
5/14/2000 c1 Malon A. Lupin
Awwesome formatting. How did yo do that? The story was okay but short, and in some places a period would work better than a comma. Also make "good byes" either one word or hyphenated, and capitalize Kokiri. I am looking forward to reading the next part. You say this will be a novel? Cool!
Awwesome formatting. How did yo do that? The story was okay but short, and in some places a period would work better than a comma. Also make "good byes" either one word or hyphenated, and capitalize Kokiri. I am looking forward to reading the next part. You say this will be a novel? Cool!
5/12/2000 c1 Cristina
Check your grammar! Sorry, but things like this bug me. Check capitols on things like names of places, and add some quotes when Link is talking in the beginning. Other than that it sounds like it's coming along very well, although you may want to lengthen this chapter so you can give more description. :)
Check your grammar! Sorry, but things like this bug me. Check capitols on things like names of places, and add some quotes when Link is talking in the beginning. Other than that it sounds like it's coming along very well, although you may want to lengthen this chapter so you can give more description. :)
5/12/2000 c1 Princess Ruto
I like!
I like!
5/12/2000 c1 6Raven Ebony
Sounds like it will be quite an adventure. Can't wait to see more. Longer chaters and/or more chapters together could help (I know it's hard to do). Make sure you describe everything pretty well, but not to much (you're doing well at that so far).
6Raven EbonySounds like it will be quite an adventure. Can't wait to see more. Longer chaters and/or more chapters together could help (I know it's hard to do). Make sure you describe everything pretty well, but not to much (you're doing well at that so far).
5/12/2000 c1 Doomy listens 2 Doom1m1 2 much
Way too short. Please put more chapters together.That's it for bad. Nice font and all.
Way too short. Please put more chapters together.That's it for bad. Nice font and all.
5/12/2000 c1 Topaz989
Good job;but... if this is gonna be a novel, make these parts longer. Put three or four chapters together. Tee Hee, mez feels like imitating Stardragon...
There needs to be a comma after "awoke", there needs to be a ";" after forest, a period instead of a "," after ocarina and you need capitalize "link"
Tee hee, don't I have the best grammar or what ;)
Good job;but... if this is gonna be a novel, make these parts longer. Put three or four chapters together. Tee Hee, mez feels like imitating Stardragon...
There needs to be a comma after "awoke", there needs to be a ";" after forest, a period instead of a "," after ocarina and you need capitalize "link"
Tee hee, don't I have the best grammar or what ;)