for Firend Or Foe?8/5/2009 c6 Kayla
I really liked it it was a great story I cant wait to read more of it
I really liked it it was a great story I cant wait to read more of it
10/23/2008 c6 
2Ereneviana
Nice. I like it so far. The grammar could use a little work, but it's nothing that really takes away from the story. Keep up the good work!
2ErenevianaNice. I like it so far. The grammar could use a little work, but it's nothing that really takes away from the story. Keep up the good work!
4/1/2008 c1 1Tinsel Darkly
I love SI fics, but I had a particularly difficult time trying to claw my way through reading this one.
Please get a beta reader. I have a feeling that if you fixed your grammar and spelling up a bit, this would be immensely more interesting to read.
Thanks. :)
1Tinsel DarklyI love SI fics, but I had a particularly difficult time trying to claw my way through reading this one.
Please get a beta reader. I have a feeling that if you fixed your grammar and spelling up a bit, this would be immensely more interesting to read.
Thanks. :)
3/29/2008 c6 1Tabansi232
I love how I never seem to realize when people have updated. It just makes me want to scream bloody murder. 8D
To be honest, I was having a bit of trouble reading this. The grammar and spelling errors really averted my attention from the story, and I found myself becoming disinterested. Especially when you used "u" for "you." *does not like chatspeak*
"I woke to the sound of some one singing, to find myself in a bed." -this part confused me as I thought Dagger was the one that woke Dusty up, but then Dusty never once mentioned seeing Dagger nor Dagger saying anything to her when she woke up. It just struck me as odd-unless I completely missed something.
"Ronia’s in FF7"-Did you mean Rinoa's in FF8?
Regardless, I'm interested in reading what is going to happen next. (SAVE VIVI! D8
1Tabansi232I love how I never seem to realize when people have updated. It just makes me want to scream bloody murder. 8D
To be honest, I was having a bit of trouble reading this. The grammar and spelling errors really averted my attention from the story, and I found myself becoming disinterested. Especially when you used "u" for "you." *does not like chatspeak*
"I woke to the sound of some one singing, to find myself in a bed." -this part confused me as I thought Dagger was the one that woke Dusty up, but then Dusty never once mentioned seeing Dagger nor Dagger saying anything to her when she woke up. It just struck me as odd-unless I completely missed something.
"Ronia’s in FF7"-Did you mean Rinoa's in FF8?
Regardless, I'm interested in reading what is going to happen next. (SAVE VIVI! D8
1/25/2008 c4 Tabansi232
Heh, I had to sign out to review since I've already reviewed this chapter in the past. -_-;
I'm a bit confused as to what's going on, but that's probably because I haven't read this fic in such a long time. Kuja seems...nicer than I remember him being. And I'm raising my eyebrow at how easily the trust is coming along. Especially on Morgan's end. Wouldn't she be a bit wary with telling Kuja everything that is going on?
The dragon, as far as I know, is nameless. Kuja just refers to it as Silver Dragon.
While reading through I found some grammar and spelling mistakes, but there wasn't anything too horrible, except for the whole "w/" things. Chatspeak is very unprofessional, and for chatspeak illiterate people (like me), it becomes very difficult to read the fic.
Just a question, but is the pairing set for KujaxMorgan? It's rather painfully obvious, and it dulls the story down very quickly. Also, Morgan seems to be carrying many Mary Sue traits, so instead of concentrating on making her "ohmigod" beautiful, try fleshing out her personality. She seemed rather "lifeless" in this chapter, so I couldn't really picture what Morgan was like. (And it would be very helpful if I could for her cameo. ;))
All in all, I think there were some areas that really needed to be fixed in this chapter. Maybe sticking to just one POV until the readers are familiar with the characters would help. Also, try describing the settings a bit more. Sometimes when a reader is really able to picture where the characters are and what is going on around them, they can understand the feelings and mood in the story a bit more. Like the old cliche, "It was a dark and stormy night," gives the reader a feeling of foreboding, panic, and restlessness.
I hope to see another one of your updates soon! (Soon, as in, not a year later. XD)
-Tabansi232/Brandy
P.S. You can respond to me via PM or email.
Heh, I had to sign out to review since I've already reviewed this chapter in the past. -_-;
I'm a bit confused as to what's going on, but that's probably because I haven't read this fic in such a long time. Kuja seems...nicer than I remember him being. And I'm raising my eyebrow at how easily the trust is coming along. Especially on Morgan's end. Wouldn't she be a bit wary with telling Kuja everything that is going on?
The dragon, as far as I know, is nameless. Kuja just refers to it as Silver Dragon.
While reading through I found some grammar and spelling mistakes, but there wasn't anything too horrible, except for the whole "w/" things. Chatspeak is very unprofessional, and for chatspeak illiterate people (like me), it becomes very difficult to read the fic.
Just a question, but is the pairing set for KujaxMorgan? It's rather painfully obvious, and it dulls the story down very quickly. Also, Morgan seems to be carrying many Mary Sue traits, so instead of concentrating on making her "ohmigod" beautiful, try fleshing out her personality. She seemed rather "lifeless" in this chapter, so I couldn't really picture what Morgan was like. (And it would be very helpful if I could for her cameo. ;))
All in all, I think there were some areas that really needed to be fixed in this chapter. Maybe sticking to just one POV until the readers are familiar with the characters would help. Also, try describing the settings a bit more. Sometimes when a reader is really able to picture where the characters are and what is going on around them, they can understand the feelings and mood in the story a bit more. Like the old cliche, "It was a dark and stormy night," gives the reader a feeling of foreboding, panic, and restlessness.
I hope to see another one of your updates soon! (Soon, as in, not a year later. XD)
-Tabansi232/Brandy
P.S. You can respond to me via PM or email.
7/29/2006 c1 4Monogatari Rockets
Wow! Very much like mine! Especially how they get transported into the game with the Moogle! Very similar indeed... Still, very nice work. The idea's getting a little unoriginal now but it's an idea that works great! ^_^
4Monogatari RocketsWow! Very much like mine! Especially how they get transported into the game with the Moogle! Very similar indeed... Still, very nice work. The idea's getting a little unoriginal now but it's an idea that works great! ^_^
6/4/2006 c4 1Tabansi232
O_o Everyone's getting sick nowadays! I just got over being ill not too long ago...
Well, I hope you get better. Don't worry about updating because I completely understand. I usually don't want to do anything while I'm sick. Can't think straight at all.
Get well soon!
1Tabansi232O_o Everyone's getting sick nowadays! I just got over being ill not too long ago...
Well, I hope you get better. Don't worry about updating because I completely understand. I usually don't want to do anything while I'm sick. Can't think straight at all.
Get well soon!
5/24/2006 c3 Tabansi232
That does clear a bunch of things up. Thanks! I wish you luck on your finals!
That does clear a bunch of things up. Thanks! I wish you luck on your finals!
5/20/2006 c2 1Tabansi232
...That was kinda fast, wouldn't you say? And are the characters going to have reasons for transforming like they did? I don't know where this is going...I hope chapter 3 will clear up more things for me.
1Tabansi232...That was kinda fast, wouldn't you say? And are the characters going to have reasons for transforming like they did? I don't know where this is going...I hope chapter 3 will clear up more things for me.
5/13/2006 c1 9The Tiny Pea
Not bad but this was kinda short and hard to follow. I suggest you get a beta reader.
9The Tiny PeaNot bad but this was kinda short and hard to follow. I suggest you get a beta reader.
5/13/2006 c1 1Tabansi232
Don't you just hate being young and not owning anything?
A beta reader can very much help. I'm not sure if I can since I'm still looking for one of my own.
The first chapter was kind of short, but it's only the first chapter so I'm not going to hold it against you.
I'm not sure where this is going, but I hope it's somewhere good. Please, please, please don't make your characters into Mary-Sues! That just ruins the whole story.
Well, you'll be hearing, uh, reading a review from me for your next update!
~Tabansi232~
1Tabansi232Don't you just hate being young and not owning anything?
A beta reader can very much help. I'm not sure if I can since I'm still looking for one of my own.
The first chapter was kind of short, but it's only the first chapter so I'm not going to hold it against you.
I'm not sure where this is going, but I hope it's somewhere good. Please, please, please don't make your characters into Mary-Sues! That just ruins the whole story.
Well, you'll be hearing, uh, reading a review from me for your next update!
~Tabansi232~