for Sweet tooth4/21/2008 c1 
13Snupin
That was nice only thing I would do to make it better was to make it longer. But i can't talk with the size of my fics lol. I hope you right more fics soon!
13SnupinThat was nice only thing I would do to make it better was to make it longer. But i can't talk with the size of my fics lol. I hope you right more fics soon!
6/5/2007 c1 20schoolgirl-cheesesculpture
Lawl... Sweet... So kawaii!I could just imagine that happening...
20schoolgirl-cheesesculptureLawl... Sweet... So kawaii!I could just imagine that happening...
5/14/2007 c1 265Lamia of the Dark
Typos. too many for how short it is. The title line says "sweat tooth" Yuck!
otherwise... that was pretty cute~
265Lamia of the DarkTypos. too many for how short it is. The title line says "sweat tooth" Yuck!
otherwise... that was pretty cute~
5/13/2007 c1 boronia
bwahahahahahahaha hah hah ha ha ha ha ha heh he he hee hee hee...
*chokes and dies of laughter*
...
*pokes dead self with stick*
you killed me, that wasn't very nice.
*snigger* i love the mental image of light frozen with the cake halfway to his mouth, sort of going, 'ack caught'. i find it terribly amusing. And it appeals to me because it's night right now, and you just inspired me to go hunting for a midnight snack.
lets see, constructive crit.
you missed a capitalization on L at one point, and i read it as 'I' and i thought it had changed tenses for a second, but then i realized it was probably just just a lower case L, so nothing major wrong at all. A few teeny tiny things, such as a missing the percentage sign after the 1, but i read right past it without noticing it at all the first couple of times. I'm only really mentioning it at all, because you said you wanted to know how to improve, and if you notice things it lowers the risk of doing it again which i think is always good.
let's see, it's short, sweet (pun intended, lol) and to the point, which is good for a short fic.
Other than it being really short, it's great, specially for a first fic. Made me smile at least.
:)
keep writing.
*wanders off to hunt for midnight snacks*
bwahahahahahahaha hah hah ha ha ha ha ha heh he he hee hee hee...
*chokes and dies of laughter*
...
*pokes dead self with stick*
you killed me, that wasn't very nice.
*snigger* i love the mental image of light frozen with the cake halfway to his mouth, sort of going, 'ack caught'. i find it terribly amusing. And it appeals to me because it's night right now, and you just inspired me to go hunting for a midnight snack.
lets see, constructive crit.
you missed a capitalization on L at one point, and i read it as 'I' and i thought it had changed tenses for a second, but then i realized it was probably just just a lower case L, so nothing major wrong at all. A few teeny tiny things, such as a missing the percentage sign after the 1, but i read right past it without noticing it at all the first couple of times. I'm only really mentioning it at all, because you said you wanted to know how to improve, and if you notice things it lowers the risk of doing it again which i think is always good.
let's see, it's short, sweet (pun intended, lol) and to the point, which is good for a short fic.
Other than it being really short, it's great, specially for a first fic. Made me smile at least.
:)
keep writing.
*wanders off to hunt for midnight snacks*