5/2/2010 c11 26Dorrica
This is a very interesting and creative take on Dragon's side of the story. It's nice to see her story told. So little is known about her. I certainly hope you're planning on continuing this sometime in the future.

~Dracori

12/8/2007 c11 6Gadfly
An entertaining entrance to the tournament. Good detail in describing Fiona's compulsory service and the unintended animosity it brews in her against Dragon. Clever and appropriately Shrekian anachronistic touches with the "P.E.T.A.R.D.B.B.A." protesters and the "shirtless tournament hooligans" (the latter in part a nod I assume to the rowdies in the audience during the play in "Shrek the Third"). An interesting dichotomy of class reactions between the peasants with their cheering of Dragon vs that of the nobles, which adds more texture to your story. The fate of Ms. Wolvesfriend was a bit dark, but then, no more so than having your significant other devoured by Santa as happened in the recent "Shrek the Halls."

The are some technical things you might wish to address. In "In truth, the peasant needed little encouragement" you want to make "peasant" into the plural "peasants". You wrote "if such a thing I possible for a dragon" when I think you want "if such a thing were possible for a dragon". In "Dragon pushed here toothy muzzle so close" you want to change "here" to "her". And one last thing, you wrote "Bruno ... was awestruck by the spectacle, as technically everyone else was", but "technically" looks awkward here. If everyone was truly awestruck, I would simply remove the adjective altogether; if you want to leave any doubt that some people might not have been awestruck, I'd suggest changing "technically" to "virtually".

Overall, very good job.

9/29/2007 c9 Lupus-draconis
I like your interpretation of events in this. It's a little more bloody than the Shrek movies, but in this case, it fits. Very well done backstory, and a good portrayal of how the mind of a dragon is different from that of a human. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

8/1/2007 c9 Gadfly
The tournament was a clever, inventive idea, and the legal negotiations were quite humorous. (The injection of a character named "Katzenburg" was cute.) You have nicely inventive little pieces throughout the story, from "the Princess Fiona Redemption Tournament, though more commonly referred to as Slayer-Fest" to the invention of "The Intra-Kingdom Tournament Association". Several cute touches included the misstated "every knight you feed her...um, I mean, every knight that challenges her" and referring to "slay" as "the S word" and "The unique Dragon's Keep castle also had enormous potential as a theme park."

Nice little aside on the small size of dragons in famous paintings and how Dragon would regard this as "human heroes slaying these innocent baby dragons," and add to her animosity.

I noticed that you included a little of your own dragon history, which looks okay within this context.

Another good job.

7/21/2007 c2 BloodmoonX
Now this was a great way to tie in the fairy godmother from "Shrek 2" to Dragon. I like how you first enterduice Dragon to the readers. Great chapter. "X"

7/15/2007 c8 6Gadfly
A fascinating speculation on Fiona's first day in Dragon's Keep, with remarkable attention to detail in your descriptions, yet the descriptions are blended into the action so they do not bog things down at all. Very well done. I particularly like the "visuals" you invoke with Dragon lifting the turret from Fiona's room and the bath-pot scene. The mouth-cleaning at the end was also a nice touch. The product parodies (e.g. "Dama Fortuna's Minty-Fresh Mouth Wash, Bulk Commercial Export Size - Fifty Gallons - Not For Resale") were also clever and quite Shrekian. And you're very good at relaying Fiona's emotions through it all. I don't think I agree with Dragon's idea of taking Fiona out to dinner – you must remember that to the outside world that Fiona is a prisoner. In fact, the setup here between the two is starting to remind me of Mr. Miyagi and the Karate Kid; this would not seem to be consistent with the Fiona that Shrek eventually encounters who without any scruples expects the dragon to already be slain as a matter of course and who is enamored of her fairytale fantasies. Please keep that outcome in mind as you steer your course through the story. On the other hand, you *do* seem to answer a couple of questions from the first, movie; e.g. "if Fiona has been locked in her room, then why does she know which way the exit is?" and "is Fiona *really* so self-absorbed as not to notice the various knight remains and Dragon's large cookbook of 'Knightly Treats' if this is her first time out of her room?" (Not to mention "how did she go to the bathroom?") So, again, overall, excellent job!

7/11/2007 c6 Gadfly
Wonderfully amusing little chapter, with some very clever "cameos" by a couple of Dragon's future friends and one future snack. Great detail in the description of the action, and insight into Dragon's thoughts. Particularly amusing were lines like "she wondered if the farmer might have actually paid her to eat the beast and rid him of such an irritating traveling companion", "then her beautiful white teeth would be stained, and some bit of entrails might get stuck between them and be terribly embarrassing", and "This was a breakfast she could eat on the go." You did a good job at expressing her disdain for the knights and her reasons for it, and the "precipitation" of "dragon-produced fluid" was a pretty good manifestation of that. Farquaad's musings which we would see fulfilled in the 1st film was a clever added touch.