for Konjiki no Gash Bell movie 3: ultimate demons12/28/2012 c1 anoniem
this story is so bad!
this story is so bad!
11/9/2010 c1 your trash says
when does zatch when you weridos
when does zatch when you weridos
11/6/2009 c1 thatguy3331
this is a very good story idea, if you ask me, though it kinda ended too soon, but it is a fan story.however it has some plotholes
- won lei's book was burned late 3rd season,how did kiyo get from his house to his school, what girl are you talking about and is the emo kid by chance the human parter of the dragon demon from the 4th arc in the manga?
other than that i'd give it a 7.5 out of 10
this is a very good story idea, if you ask me, though it kinda ended too soon, but it is a fan story.however it has some plotholes
- won lei's book was burned late 3rd season,how did kiyo get from his house to his school, what girl are you talking about and is the emo kid by chance the human parter of the dragon demon from the 4th arc in the manga?
other than that i'd give it a 7.5 out of 10
6/12/2009 c1 Mada
I guess there's nothing too bad about it. But if its the third movie, wouldn't it follow up on the episodes and the other two movies?
Wonlei's book was burned late in the fourth season if I remember correctly, the last episode sort of pointed out that Brago's book had been burned as well...
I guess there's nothing too bad about it. But if its the third movie, wouldn't it follow up on the episodes and the other two movies?
Wonlei's book was burned late in the fourth season if I remember correctly, the last episode sort of pointed out that Brago's book had been burned as well...
6/6/2008 c1 
13SeeNoEvil121
Ok, this story idea has potential, but here's a few tips.
1. Don't jump between Japanese and English. It's more professional to write the story in one solid language, dialogue and all unless you're speaking with proper titles, such as Kiyomaro-kun, or Megumi-san. But even then, they can be translated into Mr Kiyomaro and Miss Megumi.
2. The underlines are really annoying, and it makes it difficult to read.
3. Author's Notes throughout the fanfiction are unnecessary. They're generally supposed to be used at the beginning and end of a fanfiction, not in the center. It draws away from the story.
4. Name spelling. It's spelled 'Kiyomaro', but then again, that's how it is in most languages. It may be spelled differently for other languages that aren't English, Japanese, and Spanish.
5. Stay in character. Kiyomaro is more subtle and laid back most of the time, though he does have his outbursts with Gash. He doesn't normally make a big deal about battles, despite how surprised he is.
But it's a pretty good fanfiction. This is not a flame, just constructive criticism to help you improve. Keep it up.
13SeeNoEvil121Ok, this story idea has potential, but here's a few tips.
1. Don't jump between Japanese and English. It's more professional to write the story in one solid language, dialogue and all unless you're speaking with proper titles, such as Kiyomaro-kun, or Megumi-san. But even then, they can be translated into Mr Kiyomaro and Miss Megumi.
2. The underlines are really annoying, and it makes it difficult to read.
3. Author's Notes throughout the fanfiction are unnecessary. They're generally supposed to be used at the beginning and end of a fanfiction, not in the center. It draws away from the story.
4. Name spelling. It's spelled 'Kiyomaro', but then again, that's how it is in most languages. It may be spelled differently for other languages that aren't English, Japanese, and Spanish.
5. Stay in character. Kiyomaro is more subtle and laid back most of the time, though he does have his outbursts with Gash. He doesn't normally make a big deal about battles, despite how surprised he is.
But it's a pretty good fanfiction. This is not a flame, just constructive criticism to help you improve. Keep it up.