for The Hidden Files of a Devil Hunter2/18/2009 c1 zenbon zakura
poor guy... lol hurry up and update loser! its been almost no more than half a year!
poor guy... lol hurry up and update loser! its been almost no more than half a year!
6/15/2008 c1 
1MyselfAndI
The thing that mainly bothers me is the pacing. It just seems to me like you're trying to get too many ideas down in one breath, and it can get confusing. I had to read it over a few times to really get what was happening.
I think if you slowed it down a bit and tried not to put so many actions and ideas in one sentence, it would be a lot clearer to read. And you shouldn't worry about having to focus on all the characters at once. Keep them there, but use them sparingly.
I hope this helps a bit. Keep writing =)
1MyselfAndIThe thing that mainly bothers me is the pacing. It just seems to me like you're trying to get too many ideas down in one breath, and it can get confusing. I had to read it over a few times to really get what was happening.
I think if you slowed it down a bit and tried not to put so many actions and ideas in one sentence, it would be a lot clearer to read. And you shouldn't worry about having to focus on all the characters at once. Keep them there, but use them sparingly.
I hope this helps a bit. Keep writing =)
6/15/2008 c1 1Relks the Disturbed
Good opening chapter. Even if this is your first DMC fic, it's good. DMC2 is really OOC with Dante, so don't even worry about it. In DMC2 Lucia's kinda emo, without the whole wearing black thing. Dante's pretty much cocky and arrogant as hell in DMC3$4, so that's easy to get. Trish and Lady act pretty much the same way to each other in 4 as in the anime, but a bit friendlier. Nero's like Dante, but more sarcastic arrogance and cockines than just arrogance and cockiness. Kyrie's kinda shyish, but otherwise normal. Vergil's uptight and that's pretty much it. Hope this helps if you even want to make the characters IC. Can't wait to see how this developes.
1Relks the DisturbedGood opening chapter. Even if this is your first DMC fic, it's good. DMC2 is really OOC with Dante, so don't even worry about it. In DMC2 Lucia's kinda emo, without the whole wearing black thing. Dante's pretty much cocky and arrogant as hell in DMC3$4, so that's easy to get. Trish and Lady act pretty much the same way to each other in 4 as in the anime, but a bit friendlier. Nero's like Dante, but more sarcastic arrogance and cockines than just arrogance and cockiness. Kyrie's kinda shyish, but otherwise normal. Vergil's uptight and that's pretty much it. Hope this helps if you even want to make the characters IC. Can't wait to see how this developes.