8/6/2008 c1 Yume Hanabi
hm... They are in character.

But you should be careful about the tenses and POV, it was kinda confusing.

And you made a mistake that made me cringe : Marta -without "h" by the way) does NOT call Emil "Emil-kun"

Apart from that it's not bad ^^

7/1/2008 c1 38Hikari Teiruzu
It's not bad, it's great! ^_^