for The Last 3 Airbenders3/24/2011 c3 skywarp
i really enjoy this story please update
i really enjoy this story please update
11/25/2009 c1 omally-dood
sorry man but this gust sucks
so what they r just suddenly friend's and how did they get there
u really need 2 work on your story telling
good idea tho besides the small problems ive listed this is still pritty good
sorry man but this gust sucks
so what they r just suddenly friend's and how did they get there
u really need 2 work on your story telling
good idea tho besides the small problems ive listed this is still pritty good
3/9/2009 c1 MadmanRobz
Seriously, this story is going WAY to fast and the characters are WAY to open. I mean c'mon! Naruto met Tayuya like 20 minutes befor the ice block broke and suddenly they know everything about eachother and their talking like they'v been together for years! And Naruto is WAY to open about being a jinnchuriki. Theres not a single sceen in this that lasts long enough to be believable! The first 3 times i read the first chapter i was confused as hell. First their enemies fighting eachother then suddenly they are old friends helping eachother and knowing practicly everything about the other! If i were you id re-write the entire fic. If you were to write all this in a good length and a believable speed it could be at least twice as long!
Seriously, this story is going WAY to fast and the characters are WAY to open. I mean c'mon! Naruto met Tayuya like 20 minutes befor the ice block broke and suddenly they know everything about eachother and their talking like they'v been together for years! And Naruto is WAY to open about being a jinnchuriki. Theres not a single sceen in this that lasts long enough to be believable! The first 3 times i read the first chapter i was confused as hell. First their enemies fighting eachother then suddenly they are old friends helping eachother and knowing practicly everything about the other! If i were you id re-write the entire fic. If you were to write all this in a good length and a believable speed it could be at least twice as long!
2/13/2009 c3 
4Beserkians fury
Okay, Quick suggestion... STOP USING DIALOGUE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MUSES SO DAMN MUCH! IT JUST WASTS PAGE SPACE AND BORES THE READERS! Ahem, that is all. Until next time... FARE THEE WELL FOOLISH HUMAN!
4Beserkians furyOkay, Quick suggestion... STOP USING DIALOGUE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MUSES SO DAMN MUCH! IT JUST WASTS PAGE SPACE AND BORES THE READERS! Ahem, that is all. Until next time... FARE THEE WELL FOOLISH HUMAN!
2/9/2009 c1 ghiblilover
I concur that Tayuya has developed too fast. One minute she has just met Naruto, the next she is all wishy washy. I can't complain too much because I may have done something like this in my own story. Anyway I like the story so far. Keep It Up.
I concur that Tayuya has developed too fast. One minute she has just met Naruto, the next she is all wishy washy. I can't complain too much because I may have done something like this in my own story. Anyway I like the story so far. Keep It Up.
1/17/2009 c3 Fumetsu Kaji
hehe, I like what Tayuya did that was funny. I wish I had a family heirloom like that.
hehe, I like what Tayuya did that was funny. I wish I had a family heirloom like that.
1/16/2009 c1 PeinVPuppy
Ok this could be a really good story but you have to slow it down. I mean come on every thing is going way to fast and Naruto and Tayuya are VERY ooc and love and trust like that dont take 1 2 days and a few min's.
You forget naruto is pretty stupid when he was young and tayuya was very bitchy and very easy to piss off, oh and naruto and tayuya are what 12 13 when the fight for sasuke toke place and already tayu is flashing him and talking about sex maybe you could make them 15 or 16 just so it dont seem so wrong. and i really think you should work on blending the two world's to much Naruto not enough Avatar.
but hey im not trying to sound bitchy or mean dont get me wrong i love your story i never was a big fan for AvatarXNaruto but i love this story and the way it's going i really want you to just go for it im just pointing out what you should try and work on. i look forward to your next update.
Ok this could be a really good story but you have to slow it down. I mean come on every thing is going way to fast and Naruto and Tayuya are VERY ooc and love and trust like that dont take 1 2 days and a few min's.
You forget naruto is pretty stupid when he was young and tayuya was very bitchy and very easy to piss off, oh and naruto and tayuya are what 12 13 when the fight for sasuke toke place and already tayu is flashing him and talking about sex maybe you could make them 15 or 16 just so it dont seem so wrong. and i really think you should work on blending the two world's to much Naruto not enough Avatar.
but hey im not trying to sound bitchy or mean dont get me wrong i love your story i never was a big fan for AvatarXNaruto but i love this story and the way it's going i really want you to just go for it im just pointing out what you should try and work on. i look forward to your next update.