for The Lucky Star Gang: To America!4/22/2009 c2 cowpoo84
hey! its actually pretty good! yah! finally a fic with some misao! *sigh* poor secondary characters...i feel for them. you should continue! ill definitly read it! ;)
hey! its actually pretty good! yah! finally a fic with some misao! *sigh* poor secondary characters...i feel for them. you should continue! ill definitly read it! ;)
2/10/2009 c2 Mike
Awesome story! Misao rocks! Can't wait for another chapter!
Awesome story! Misao rocks! Can't wait for another chapter!
2/7/2009 c2 
7E.S. Simeon
Well, this is quite the fun one ain't it? Looks like everybody's about to get into some serious trouble-fun with the plans that are about. I guess it also makes sense too, as recently (I have not looked into this, so don't quote me on this as I am not certain) one of the requirements of graduating from high school is to take a trip to another country for something...
Of course, the first Lucky Star work appeared as a manga in 2004, so back then the requirements for high school graduation may have been different. Still, for adapting Lucky Star into today's timeline, the planned trip to America may be just right.
Anyway, the chapters itself is pretty well structured to the 'slice of life' genre and fits into everything perfectly, so everything's all good.
Now, if you're aiming for longer length, it would be a good idea to take a break once you run of ideas, so then you could continue later on. Also, I would recommend maybe a reread or just a spellchecker to keep some parts of the chapters in line, as some parts could just a little fix. Another thing would be to maybe refrain from using emoticons since those can be described and as long as you give enough details, then readers can imagine the rest.
Anyway, looking forward to more of this, hehe.
7E.S. SimeonWell, this is quite the fun one ain't it? Looks like everybody's about to get into some serious trouble-fun with the plans that are about. I guess it also makes sense too, as recently (I have not looked into this, so don't quote me on this as I am not certain) one of the requirements of graduating from high school is to take a trip to another country for something...
Of course, the first Lucky Star work appeared as a manga in 2004, so back then the requirements for high school graduation may have been different. Still, for adapting Lucky Star into today's timeline, the planned trip to America may be just right.
Anyway, the chapters itself is pretty well structured to the 'slice of life' genre and fits into everything perfectly, so everything's all good.
Now, if you're aiming for longer length, it would be a good idea to take a break once you run of ideas, so then you could continue later on. Also, I would recommend maybe a reread or just a spellchecker to keep some parts of the chapters in line, as some parts could just a little fix. Another thing would be to maybe refrain from using emoticons since those can be described and as long as you give enough details, then readers can imagine the rest.
Anyway, looking forward to more of this, hehe.
2/7/2009 c2 14Ascoeur
YAY! that was hilarious! ^^, I loved it! I do wish Kagami sits with Misao through one lunch at least ONCE I mean she's too cute .
14AscoeurYAY! that was hilarious! ^^, I loved it! I do wish Kagami sits with Misao through one lunch at least ONCE I mean she's too cute .
2/6/2009 c1 8nukerjsr
I didn't expect too much from this, but it actually turned out to be a pleasent surprise. It's nice that you are giving Misao some attention that she clearly deserves. Just work with your spacing because the first few paragraphs look off.
8nukerjsrI didn't expect too much from this, but it actually turned out to be a pleasent surprise. It's nice that you are giving Misao some attention that she clearly deserves. Just work with your spacing because the first few paragraphs look off.
2/4/2009 c1 ALEXISSA2
That was an interesting start. Looking forward to read more and how they're gonna raise the funds. PPMS
That was an interesting start. Looking forward to read more and how they're gonna raise the funds. PPMS
2/3/2009 c1 10Akai-Kurenai
Aw, it's only the third years? Patricia would've made for a funny tour guide: "This is L.A.! Aya Hirano came here for the Anime Expo a couple of years ago!" or "That's the dubbing company headquarters! The voices are so NOT MOE."
The girls seem to be in-character, and the writing seems fine. The only thing is, the story seems to lack something - a bit of style or maybe a smidge of the right mood and tone is needed to make this fanfiction stand out.
I'm relieved that you provided an explanation for the trip. Most authors go "STFU IT'S MY FANFIC I DO WHAT I WANNA". Going to America does sound a little far-fetched, but they could probably pull a few strings.
-Cough-Miyuki's rich family-Cough-
Then again, it would be hilarious to see what they would have to do to raise money for their trip.
Carry on! I'm looking forward to your next chapter!
10Akai-KurenaiAw, it's only the third years? Patricia would've made for a funny tour guide: "This is L.A.! Aya Hirano came here for the Anime Expo a couple of years ago!" or "That's the dubbing company headquarters! The voices are so NOT MOE."
The girls seem to be in-character, and the writing seems fine. The only thing is, the story seems to lack something - a bit of style or maybe a smidge of the right mood and tone is needed to make this fanfiction stand out.
I'm relieved that you provided an explanation for the trip. Most authors go "STFU IT'S MY FANFIC I DO WHAT I WANNA". Going to America does sound a little far-fetched, but they could probably pull a few strings.
-Cough-Miyuki's rich family-Cough-
Then again, it would be hilarious to see what they would have to do to raise money for their trip.
Carry on! I'm looking forward to your next chapter!
2/3/2009 c1 14Ascoeur
Very, Very interesting my friend. It seems we're getting more "american" stuff o.o... Well it seems okay for now, not great, not bad, just okay ^^. But Let's see if you can kick it up a notch and show us what you got. ^^ Hope to see more!
ps: About the whole starting out blank thing, um, happens to me, too ~_~ yeah..
bye-bee!^^ and good luck
14AscoeurVery, Very interesting my friend. It seems we're getting more "american" stuff o.o... Well it seems okay for now, not great, not bad, just okay ^^. But Let's see if you can kick it up a notch and show us what you got. ^^ Hope to see more!
ps: About the whole starting out blank thing, um, happens to me, too ~_~ yeah..
bye-bee!^^ and good luck