for An Ocean of Mirrors4/2/2011 c10 Hawke
I thought you did a fine job depicting Rena's situation, so no worries there. I saw you say that you were bringing Alen back. I'm curious as how you are going to do this and what kind of contribution he'll add to the story. Keep updating!
I thought you did a fine job depicting Rena's situation, so no worries there. I saw you say that you were bringing Alen back. I'm curious as how you are going to do this and what kind of contribution he'll add to the story. Keep updating!
3/20/2011 c8 
3Sarah's Knight
Good chapter. I thought perhaps you had indulged just a bit too much on Rena's constant jealousy over Celine's inclusion int he party on the last chapter, but here there was thankfully a more moderate amount of writing dedicated to Rena's blossoming romantic feelings as a teenage girl. ^_^
I also like how you went off-course from following the actual game's plot long enough to include an original scene where Rena asks a crazy fortune teller about whether her journey will be sanctioned by Fate and gets a duly ominous response, and then she's freaked out further by who I assume to be Filia immediately after. For what it's worth, you are still doing a worthy job of narrating the Star ocean 2 story so far in my opinion.
3Sarah's KnightGood chapter. I thought perhaps you had indulged just a bit too much on Rena's constant jealousy over Celine's inclusion int he party on the last chapter, but here there was thankfully a more moderate amount of writing dedicated to Rena's blossoming romantic feelings as a teenage girl. ^_^
I also like how you went off-course from following the actual game's plot long enough to include an original scene where Rena asks a crazy fortune teller about whether her journey will be sanctioned by Fate and gets a duly ominous response, and then she's freaked out further by who I assume to be Filia immediately after. For what it's worth, you are still doing a worthy job of narrating the Star ocean 2 story so far in my opinion.
2/21/2011 c7 4AnimeDawn
I really liked the way you added a scene from the SO2 game in there! I thought it really tied the story together, plus I am a HUGE fan of Star Ocean The Second Story xD Looking forward to the next chapter *huggs*
4AnimeDawnI really liked the way you added a scene from the SO2 game in there! I thought it really tied the story together, plus I am a HUGE fan of Star Ocean The Second Story xD Looking forward to the next chapter *huggs*
2/13/2011 c7 Fanfic Reader Guy
I like this a lot the added scenes along with the mix of Star Ocean 2 and EX. I hope you can keep on updating this story. Good job!
I like this a lot the added scenes along with the mix of Star Ocean 2 and EX. I hope you can keep on updating this story. Good job!
11/16/2010 c6 Petalrose
This chapter went well. I hope that you'll continue this story and update. In later scenes, I actually would hope that Rena has an active role in battle similar to the game.
This chapter went well. I hope that you'll continue this story and update. In later scenes, I actually would hope that Rena has an active role in battle similar to the game.
11/16/2010 c5 Petalrose
Hmm, actually I take back what I said earlier in my previous comment about Claude pushing Rena. The mp3 player scene was a nice touch and I loved the bath scene. Those scenes were just too cute XD
Hmm, actually I take back what I said earlier in my previous comment about Claude pushing Rena. The mp3 player scene was a nice touch and I loved the bath scene. Those scenes were just too cute XD
11/16/2010 c4 Petalrose
Well I thought that this chapter was interesting. I actually liked seeing Claude's angst and inner turmoil. I felt it added to his feelings toward Rena. Although, it was kind of funny when he suddenly pushed Rena away unexpectedly.
Well I thought that this chapter was interesting. I actually liked seeing Claude's angst and inner turmoil. I felt it added to his feelings toward Rena. Although, it was kind of funny when he suddenly pushed Rena away unexpectedly.
11/16/2010 c3 Petalrose
I like the shift in this chapter from Rena's POV to Claude's. I thought that was a good affect. I like how it stays true to the story and has insertions of emotion. Another great chapter~!
I like the shift in this chapter from Rena's POV to Claude's. I thought that was a good affect. I like how it stays true to the story and has insertions of emotion. Another great chapter~!
11/16/2010 c2 Petalrose
Awww I liked how you added your own interpretations in this story of Rena's POV. I think it helped me a bit to feel more for her. And I think its cute how Ex is mixed into the storyline. Nice Chapter!
Awww I liked how you added your own interpretations in this story of Rena's POV. I think it helped me a bit to feel more for her. And I think its cute how Ex is mixed into the storyline. Nice Chapter!
11/13/2010 c1 Petalrose
I just started reading this first chapter and I thought it was cute. I think that it's interesting that you were framing it from Rena's POV. I'll finishing reading your other chapters, but I thought that it was great so far!
I just started reading this first chapter and I thought it was cute. I think that it's interesting that you were framing it from Rena's POV. I'll finishing reading your other chapters, but I thought that it was great so far!
6/16/2010 c6 3Sarah's Knight
Hah hah. Smooooooth way to earn her forgiveness for your blunder the previous night, Claude. You lucked out. ^_^
3Sarah's KnightHah hah. Smooooooth way to earn her forgiveness for your blunder the previous night, Claude. You lucked out. ^_^
3/19/2010 c5 dusk
this isn't bad at all. i rather like some of the funny moments they get into. the only things i think you can improve on, is Claude should be better with a sword, perhaps its just me but i want him to while not be an expert yet at least be decent. next your puting claude and rena in a lot of situations where he earns rena's ire. you should also have a few where he actualy does something romantic. other wise theres no romance, any ways good job other than those. can't wait for the next chapter.
this isn't bad at all. i rather like some of the funny moments they get into. the only things i think you can improve on, is Claude should be better with a sword, perhaps its just me but i want him to while not be an expert yet at least be decent. next your puting claude and rena in a lot of situations where he earns rena's ire. you should also have a few where he actualy does something romantic. other wise theres no romance, any ways good job other than those. can't wait for the next chapter.
2/25/2010 c5 TurianRPGLover
I love the way you write this story! It's just so detailed and everything=D I really loved the bath sceneXD Even though it's not in the game it's still hilariousXD Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon!
I love the way you write this story! It's just so detailed and everything=D I really loved the bath sceneXD Even though it's not in the game it's still hilariousXD Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon!
1/16/2010 c5 11Noc and NC
Fantastic chapter, really fantastic! I was so happy to see you'd updated!
I remember you mentioning that Alen would actually join the party, but he parted ways with Claude and Rena at Cross, so I do wonder when you'll have that happen. Maybe when they go to investigate the dragon in the Salva mines? Assuming you'll be picking up Aston, of course.
...You will be picking up Ashton, won't you?
The bath scene was hilarious, and quite possibly my favorite one thus far. Right when Rachel started to mention where Rena was, I sensed Claude's impending doom and thought no...oh NO! But despite my concern for his well-being, I still laughed at events that followed.
I look forward to the next update, but encourage you to take as much time as you need! As a fanfiction writer myself, I believe firmly in the idea that the author should write for themselves first and their readers second! Not to say that I don't cherish my readers or anything. I couldn't write without them! I just...I mean, it's my hobby, not my career, so...uh...
Anyways! Keep up the amazing work!
11Noc and NCFantastic chapter, really fantastic! I was so happy to see you'd updated!
I remember you mentioning that Alen would actually join the party, but he parted ways with Claude and Rena at Cross, so I do wonder when you'll have that happen. Maybe when they go to investigate the dragon in the Salva mines? Assuming you'll be picking up Aston, of course.
...You will be picking up Ashton, won't you?
The bath scene was hilarious, and quite possibly my favorite one thus far. Right when Rachel started to mention where Rena was, I sensed Claude's impending doom and thought no...oh NO! But despite my concern for his well-being, I still laughed at events that followed.
I look forward to the next update, but encourage you to take as much time as you need! As a fanfiction writer myself, I believe firmly in the idea that the author should write for themselves first and their readers second! Not to say that I don't cherish my readers or anything. I couldn't write without them! I just...I mean, it's my hobby, not my career, so...uh...
Anyways! Keep up the amazing work!
1/15/2010 c5 3Sarah's Knight
Good work, again. ^_^
Claude sure does think a lot on the ride home from rescuing Rena and Allen in Salva, but you've written it all in such a way as for me to easily believe that this is exactly how the events of SO2 would unfold from Claude's point-of-view if it had ever actually happened in real life - even Rena's bathing and Claude's reluctant curiosity to take a peek at her. And while the bath scene took me by surprise (seeing as how I had completely skipped over your warning about it), I certainly don't mind a vivid yet tasteful description of Rena bathing. ^_- Sure, it reminded of nearly every pointless anime involving a male hero and any number of girls who are his traveling companions, but as long as you don't go overboard with these kinds of fanservice-like scenes (which you didn't), then it shouldn't take away from the meaning of your story.
For what it's worth, I don't personally see how you could have received such a bad grade in creative writing class.
3Sarah's KnightGood work, again. ^_^
Claude sure does think a lot on the ride home from rescuing Rena and Allen in Salva, but you've written it all in such a way as for me to easily believe that this is exactly how the events of SO2 would unfold from Claude's point-of-view if it had ever actually happened in real life - even Rena's bathing and Claude's reluctant curiosity to take a peek at her. And while the bath scene took me by surprise (seeing as how I had completely skipped over your warning about it), I certainly don't mind a vivid yet tasteful description of Rena bathing. ^_- Sure, it reminded of nearly every pointless anime involving a male hero and any number of girls who are his traveling companions, but as long as you don't go overboard with these kinds of fanservice-like scenes (which you didn't), then it shouldn't take away from the meaning of your story.
For what it's worth, I don't personally see how you could have received such a bad grade in creative writing class.