for Yugioh! VX3/2/2010 c10 
5Panther Moon
Interesting idea. I never would have thought of crossing castle on the sky with yu-gi-oh. I also liked the Jake Long reference, I hadn't expected it and it made me laugh. As far as critique goes, I would suggest putting in more parenthesis when people are speaking and breaking it into new paragraphs, it would make it flow better. I could still understand the story even without parenthesis because you did a nice job with saying the name of whoever was speaking. Keep writing. =]
5Panther MoonInteresting idea. I never would have thought of crossing castle on the sky with yu-gi-oh. I also liked the Jake Long reference, I hadn't expected it and it made me laugh. As far as critique goes, I would suggest putting in more parenthesis when people are speaking and breaking it into new paragraphs, it would make it flow better. I could still understand the story even without parenthesis because you did a nice job with saying the name of whoever was speaking. Keep writing. =]