for Never be the Same10/9/2009 c6 
13Loridhhp
Um...wow! That was unexpected! It was very sensuous and full of emotion, although being "driven to completion at least a dozen times" seems a bit unrealistic, not to mention probably extremely exhausting! Lol! I love that Evanescence song! I can see how you would use it as your inspiration for this chapter. Remember to watch your punctuation as you write. You still have some mistakes, but no spelling errors that I could see. Well done!
13LoridhhpUm...wow! That was unexpected! It was very sensuous and full of emotion, although being "driven to completion at least a dozen times" seems a bit unrealistic, not to mention probably extremely exhausting! Lol! I love that Evanescence song! I can see how you would use it as your inspiration for this chapter. Remember to watch your punctuation as you write. You still have some mistakes, but no spelling errors that I could see. Well done!
7/25/2009 c5 13Loridhhp
Great chapter, even if it is really short. It was nice to see Sam interacting with Luke. Luke seems to be in a much happier place on the other side. Looking forward to more.
13LoridhhpGreat chapter, even if it is really short. It was nice to see Sam interacting with Luke. Luke seems to be in a much happier place on the other side. Looking forward to more.
7/7/2009 c4 13Loridhhp
Great chapter. It was nice to see Sam wanted to go to work at the diner and have some semblence of normalcy in his life. So Lorelai stopped drinking coffee, yet there was a pot of coffee and breakfast waiting for her. I guess if she figured Luke made it, she would drink it. I love hoe Luke was with Lorelai all day and she walked around with her Bluetooth on, just so people wouldn't think she was talking to herself! She definitely finds comfort in knowing that Luke is around her and with her, even if he does have a tendency to pop in unexpectedly, scaring her half to death! Lol! I can't wait for more.
13LoridhhpGreat chapter. It was nice to see Sam wanted to go to work at the diner and have some semblence of normalcy in his life. So Lorelai stopped drinking coffee, yet there was a pot of coffee and breakfast waiting for her. I guess if she figured Luke made it, she would drink it. I love hoe Luke was with Lorelai all day and she walked around with her Bluetooth on, just so people wouldn't think she was talking to herself! She definitely finds comfort in knowing that Luke is around her and with her, even if he does have a tendency to pop in unexpectedly, scaring her half to death! Lol! I can't wait for more.
7/3/2009 c3 Loridhhp
Oh my! A whole story dedication? Wow! I am deeply touched! Thank you so much! I know talent when I see it, and you've got talent. That's why I encourage you to develop it. You have a real insight in your writing and the ability to write about complex emotions in a very tender way. I'm sure you have friends who don't support your particular style of writing. Most kids your age tend to mock the sensitive ones. Take heart in knowing that your writing shows a maturity beyond your years.
I love that you are bringing some spirituality into this story. I love how Lorelai questions why Luke is appearing to her and Sam. She's confused, which is perfectly natural, and yet she's having a hard time dealing with her grief. I've actually had encounters with loved ones who've passed on, and the experiences were very comforting. I would smell a familiar scent associated with that loved one in places where it would be impossible to experience that odor. I knew I was going to be okay because I knew my loved ones were letting me know they were around watching over me. That is what spirituality is. I love how you have Luke making his presence known to Lorelai and Sam. Love transcends death. You don't need to bring Luke back in this story. It can just be a beautiful story of healing grief through love and how Lorelai and Sam learn to move forward with their lives, while keeping Luke in their hearts.
I have one more suggestion for you to help you make your chapters clearer. When you write your author's notes, try writing them at the beginning of each chapter, above the title. Put your cursor on the line with your title and press enter three times. It will move the story down a few lines, giving you plenty of room to write your notes above. Also, to differentiate them from the body of your story, you can bold your author's notes. If you want to add an A/N at the end, bold that too so it sets it apart from your chapter.
Great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more.
Lori
Oh my! A whole story dedication? Wow! I am deeply touched! Thank you so much! I know talent when I see it, and you've got talent. That's why I encourage you to develop it. You have a real insight in your writing and the ability to write about complex emotions in a very tender way. I'm sure you have friends who don't support your particular style of writing. Most kids your age tend to mock the sensitive ones. Take heart in knowing that your writing shows a maturity beyond your years.
I love that you are bringing some spirituality into this story. I love how Lorelai questions why Luke is appearing to her and Sam. She's confused, which is perfectly natural, and yet she's having a hard time dealing with her grief. I've actually had encounters with loved ones who've passed on, and the experiences were very comforting. I would smell a familiar scent associated with that loved one in places where it would be impossible to experience that odor. I knew I was going to be okay because I knew my loved ones were letting me know they were around watching over me. That is what spirituality is. I love how you have Luke making his presence known to Lorelai and Sam. Love transcends death. You don't need to bring Luke back in this story. It can just be a beautiful story of healing grief through love and how Lorelai and Sam learn to move forward with their lives, while keeping Luke in their hearts.
I have one more suggestion for you to help you make your chapters clearer. When you write your author's notes, try writing them at the beginning of each chapter, above the title. Put your cursor on the line with your title and press enter three times. It will move the story down a few lines, giving you plenty of room to write your notes above. Also, to differentiate them from the body of your story, you can bold your author's notes. If you want to add an A/N at the end, bold that too so it sets it apart from your chapter.
Great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more.
Lori
7/2/2009 c2 13Loridhhp
Thanks so much for the dedication in your Author's notes! That was so sweet. I was just trying to help an obviously talented young writer improve. This chapter was so incredibly heartbreaking, and yet so filled with hope. Lorelai and Sam's grief is overwhelming, and you write it so beautifully, almost poetically. I love the spiritual side with Luke returning in spirit form to comfort his loved ones! I'm a firm believer in an afterlife and the ability of love to transcend death. This sounds like it's going to be a wonderful story of healing, with a nice twist. I hope you'll continue it. I'd love to read more. Great job!
13LoridhhpThanks so much for the dedication in your Author's notes! That was so sweet. I was just trying to help an obviously talented young writer improve. This chapter was so incredibly heartbreaking, and yet so filled with hope. Lorelai and Sam's grief is overwhelming, and you write it so beautifully, almost poetically. I love the spiritual side with Luke returning in spirit form to comfort his loved ones! I'm a firm believer in an afterlife and the ability of love to transcend death. This sounds like it's going to be a wonderful story of healing, with a nice twist. I hope you'll continue it. I'd love to read more. Great job!