for Age of Edward Contest: Sieg der Liebe7/1/2012 c1 
12Totteacher
Shalom,
I had to say this story was sweet and tender, so many loves were destroyed, they were among the lucky ones to have one last moment together.
Thank you
Totteacher, aka Jennifer(english name)
Shalviyah (hebrew name)
12TotteacherShalom,
I had to say this story was sweet and tender, so many loves were destroyed, they were among the lucky ones to have one last moment together.
Thank you
Totteacher, aka Jennifer(english name)
Shalviyah (hebrew name)
4/7/2012 c1 jessica158363
Wow, this was a very powerful one-shot. Very realistic althought I don't think any of them would have got that little bit of happiness to at least go together at the end. It was very fitting for a story though! Great work!
Wow, this was a very powerful one-shot. Very realistic althought I don't think any of them would have got that little bit of happiness to at least go together at the end. It was very fitting for a story though! Great work!
1/16/2012 c1 little b
i cried
i cried
10/10/2010 c1 sharonjane
That was beautifully written but absolutely heartbreaking. I am sitting here with tears running down my face. A fated love where the were bound together even in death.
Sharon
That was beautifully written but absolutely heartbreaking. I am sitting here with tears running down my face. A fated love where the were bound together even in death.
Sharon
10/7/2010 c1 14aussieflugel
ALways was a war history fan, especially WWII, so I was glad to see a story like this written. And it was written pretty well to.
Only thing I have to say regards when Edward comments in his narration how they were seperated into two lines, one to be killed. He wouldn't have known that. Heck, the prisoners of Aucwitz had no idea what was going on (though there were rumours). Only the workers in that area knew for sure, and they were 'replaced' every couple of months for that reason.
Overall, well written, and a thought provoking story.
Keep on writing,
Suzie
14aussieflugelALways was a war history fan, especially WWII, so I was glad to see a story like this written. And it was written pretty well to.
Only thing I have to say regards when Edward comments in his narration how they were seperated into two lines, one to be killed. He wouldn't have known that. Heck, the prisoners of Aucwitz had no idea what was going on (though there were rumours). Only the workers in that area knew for sure, and they were 'replaced' every couple of months for that reason.
Overall, well written, and a thought provoking story.
Keep on writing,
Suzie
4/26/2010 c1 Mitchi213
You did a good job.
All the german was right.
Its horrible to read such a story where they die in the end, mainly because I've been to a concentration camp and saw the gas chambers, its horrible. Just unbelievable what they did to all these innocent people...
You did a good job.
All the german was right.
Its horrible to read such a story where they die in the end, mainly because I've been to a concentration camp and saw the gas chambers, its horrible. Just unbelievable what they did to all these innocent people...
2/26/2010 c1 20Twilight fangirl13
This was kinda cool to read, I'm taking a German class and I know some of the things that were being said. I liked it though it was so sad that they were killed.
20Twilight fangirl13This was kinda cool to read, I'm taking a German class and I know some of the things that were being said. I liked it though it was so sad that they were killed.
2/8/2010 c1 5SaJuMA
great story! i never read one before that took place in that time :)
I'm from Austria so German is my mother tongue and I have to make some comments ;)
"bewegen" in the situation you used it has to be altered into the correct person/imperative = "Bewegt euch" (because they tell all the people to move you have to use the imperative, your version was simply the infinitive.)
"aufstehen" - again, use the imperative ("Steh auf!" because they command Edward to do it - your version is the infinitive and basically means "getting up" which doesn't make sense :))
"bringt allen um" - only one tiny mistake: it's "alle" without the n ;) (as in: kill everybody = bringt alle um. vs. I told everybody = ich habe es alleN gesagt. It's the same word in English but in German, there's a difference between the dative and the accusative word. I know, it's complicated, I do admit that English is much easier ;))
greetings from an English and German student at the University of Vienna ;)
5SaJuMAgreat story! i never read one before that took place in that time :)
I'm from Austria so German is my mother tongue and I have to make some comments ;)
"bewegen" in the situation you used it has to be altered into the correct person/imperative = "Bewegt euch" (because they tell all the people to move you have to use the imperative, your version was simply the infinitive.)
"aufstehen" - again, use the imperative ("Steh auf!" because they command Edward to do it - your version is the infinitive and basically means "getting up" which doesn't make sense :))
"bringt allen um" - only one tiny mistake: it's "alle" without the n ;) (as in: kill everybody = bringt alle um. vs. I told everybody = ich habe es alleN gesagt. It's the same word in English but in German, there's a difference between the dative and the accusative word. I know, it's complicated, I do admit that English is much easier ;))
greetings from an English and German student at the University of Vienna ;)
1/21/2010 c1 7LuckyStar815
Oh, dear!
now after my tissue is gone, I'm ready to review.
First, I'm very impressed with your choice of a topic. History of the WWII is not very trendy nowadays. And the mere fact that you were interested in it, that it had given you an inspiration to write (even if it was for a contest) - that proves how deep and many-sided personality you are. I don't know many people who read books on history, let alone write it. And that also amazed me. I'm wondering now, what else am I going to discover in you bb?
Second, you've done me with your ability to depict the way your characters feel. Take that: "My heart reached out for hers in a way my body could not". Awesome!
Third, I loved that your story had its own unique plot, but I also had noticed the BD tension (btw, the all-night eye looking scene in BD after Alice had left was the only thing that justified the existence of the whole BD for me).
And finally, the heartbreaking ending of your story... so tragic, but despite of it, they were together in death and that was a victory of their love. God, you're so talented and I even don't want to mention the shortcomings. Please don't give up on that!
I'm looking forward to see your non-ff stories. Love you!
7LuckyStar815Oh, dear!
now after my tissue is gone, I'm ready to review.
First, I'm very impressed with your choice of a topic. History of the WWII is not very trendy nowadays. And the mere fact that you were interested in it, that it had given you an inspiration to write (even if it was for a contest) - that proves how deep and many-sided personality you are. I don't know many people who read books on history, let alone write it. And that also amazed me. I'm wondering now, what else am I going to discover in you bb?
Second, you've done me with your ability to depict the way your characters feel. Take that: "My heart reached out for hers in a way my body could not". Awesome!
Third, I loved that your story had its own unique plot, but I also had noticed the BD tension (btw, the all-night eye looking scene in BD after Alice had left was the only thing that justified the existence of the whole BD for me).
And finally, the heartbreaking ending of your story... so tragic, but despite of it, they were together in death and that was a victory of their love. God, you're so talented and I even don't want to mention the shortcomings. Please don't give up on that!
I'm looking forward to see your non-ff stories. Love you!
10/2/2009 c1 twilightfan
i loved it, even though it was so said, it was full of emotion.
i loved it, even though it was so said, it was full of emotion.
9/12/2009 c1 1Ivy Kelley
OMG Jezz! That one-shot was so sad. Everything about that time period hurts my heart but to put Edward and Bella in the middle of it. It was so heart breaking! I am glad that if it had to end the way it did, at least they were together. Fantastic story and beautifully written. ~Emmie
1Ivy KelleyOMG Jezz! That one-shot was so sad. Everything about that time period hurts my heart but to put Edward and Bella in the middle of it. It was so heart breaking! I am glad that if it had to end the way it did, at least they were together. Fantastic story and beautifully written. ~Emmie
8/12/2009 c1 Beesy
Your german is great but it is "Bringt alle um" without the "n" ;)
Really sad story but well written!
Your german is great but it is "Bringt alle um" without the "n" ;)
Really sad story but well written!
8/9/2009 c1 jktwi
magnificent story.ive read bountiful amounts of books on the holocaust and i think you wrote this piece wonderfully
magnificent story.ive read bountiful amounts of books on the holocaust and i think you wrote this piece wonderfully
7/28/2009 c1 ajmefamily
wow, just !wow! that is so sad i seriously cried my eyes out! i have read and seen many movies and had a guest speaker come to my school who was a survivor and its always just so sad and this was so sad but it was good writing!
wow, just !wow! that is so sad i seriously cried my eyes out! i have read and seen many movies and had a guest speaker come to my school who was a survivor and its always just so sad and this was so sad but it was good writing!