for Happy Ending10/18/2012 c1 SNAPEFAND
Hey, This is AMAZING i love it soooooo much love it love it love it, write it into a full story please
Hey, This is AMAZING i love it soooooo much love it love it love it, write it into a full story please
2/15/2011 c1 
2BlackSiriusly
just loved it! would you pretty please expand it? :)
p.d.: i know you have dyslexia and i find it absolutely charming ( i perfectly understand what you have written :) )
2BlackSiriuslyjust loved it! would you pretty please expand it? :)
p.d.: i know you have dyslexia and i find it absolutely charming ( i perfectly understand what you have written :) )
3/25/2010 c1 9excessivelyperky
Well, if Snape didn't die in the Shrieking Shack, Harry will certainly kill him _now_ (if Arthur doesn't get there first for sleeping with his only daughter ).
But it looks like Snape will die happy. Good one-shot.
9excessivelyperkyWell, if Snape didn't die in the Shrieking Shack, Harry will certainly kill him _now_ (if Arthur doesn't get there first for sleeping with his only daughter ).
But it looks like Snape will die happy. Good one-shot.
10/23/2009 c1 30Ebony Starstorm
And a second C2 addition. =] Great little one-shot, a fantastic read!
-Ebs.
30Ebony StarstormAnd a second C2 addition. =] Great little one-shot, a fantastic read!
-Ebs.
10/13/2009 c1 hollyhocks09
huh.
pretty cool, your ovi a good writer, but i think this should be a middle chapter?
or mabey be the first chapter and hae more of snapes insecturities ( i cant spell) come out as the war goes on? i relaly like it, i think you hsould update
huh.
pretty cool, your ovi a good writer, but i think this should be a middle chapter?
or mabey be the first chapter and hae more of snapes insecturities ( i cant spell) come out as the war goes on? i relaly like it, i think you hsould update
10/12/2009 c1 rara999
We like this. Snape seems IC, and so does Ginny. However, because they are so different, and yet together, we feel it might work better if there was some backstory involved. Having said that, it does work well on its owen - well done!
However, we are confused by a couple of things - typographical errors and nothing more!
"But she loved Severus-that was for she, she couldn’t even deny it if she wanted to." == Perhaps 'for certain' instead of 'for she'?
"The eighteen year old, who graduated only just two day previous" == 'previously' is the correct term, though we are aware that 'previous' is used frequently in American English. (Having said that, HP is British anyway! :P )
"“We are in the hallway, Generva.”" == Ginny's name is Ginevra.
"“I know, but I just…" == You're missing the quotation marks at the end of this phrase.
"Ginny looked up into her lovers dark eyes. That sparkle that only seems to shine for her was glittering down at her." == 'lovers' should be 'lover's', and 'seems' should be 'seemed'.
"“What did you want to talk about.” He asked" == Question mark instead of full stop. 'He' should not be capitalised.
"“Sev.” She said " == Full stop should be comma, in order that 'She' is not capitalised.
"“What!" == Should be question mark.
"“What woman wouldn’t what the Savior of the wizarding world? The defeater of Voldamort. You had a thing for him when he was the boy-who-lived, so why not now.”" == Should be 'saviour' to fit in with British English. Should be 'Voldemort'. Last phrase should have a question mark at the end of it.
"When are you going to get that through you think Slytherin skull!" == Should be 'through your thick'
“Then what did you want to talk about?” == Should be 'talk to me for' in order to fit with Ginny's answer.
"she still sometime sensed" == should be 'sometimes'
"No grinning, madly." == Should also have a comma between 'No' and 'grinning'.
"Beyond Happy. Ginny I love you." == Happy should not be capitalised. There should be a comma in between 'Ginny' and 'I'.
"That was defiantly not what she was expecting." == Malapropism. 'Defiantly' should be 'definitely'.
"He never thought he would marry nor have children, but he will." == The word 'will' should be 'would'.
But really, these are minor problems that a beta could easily fix.
Well done!
We like this. Snape seems IC, and so does Ginny. However, because they are so different, and yet together, we feel it might work better if there was some backstory involved. Having said that, it does work well on its owen - well done!
However, we are confused by a couple of things - typographical errors and nothing more!
"But she loved Severus-that was for she, she couldn’t even deny it if she wanted to." == Perhaps 'for certain' instead of 'for she'?
"The eighteen year old, who graduated only just two day previous" == 'previously' is the correct term, though we are aware that 'previous' is used frequently in American English. (Having said that, HP is British anyway! :P )
"“We are in the hallway, Generva.”" == Ginny's name is Ginevra.
"“I know, but I just…" == You're missing the quotation marks at the end of this phrase.
"Ginny looked up into her lovers dark eyes. That sparkle that only seems to shine for her was glittering down at her." == 'lovers' should be 'lover's', and 'seems' should be 'seemed'.
"“What did you want to talk about.” He asked" == Question mark instead of full stop. 'He' should not be capitalised.
"“Sev.” She said " == Full stop should be comma, in order that 'She' is not capitalised.
"“What!" == Should be question mark.
"“What woman wouldn’t what the Savior of the wizarding world? The defeater of Voldamort. You had a thing for him when he was the boy-who-lived, so why not now.”" == Should be 'saviour' to fit in with British English. Should be 'Voldemort'. Last phrase should have a question mark at the end of it.
"When are you going to get that through you think Slytherin skull!" == Should be 'through your thick'
“Then what did you want to talk about?” == Should be 'talk to me for' in order to fit with Ginny's answer.
"she still sometime sensed" == should be 'sometimes'
"No grinning, madly." == Should also have a comma between 'No' and 'grinning'.
"Beyond Happy. Ginny I love you." == Happy should not be capitalised. There should be a comma in between 'Ginny' and 'I'.
"That was defiantly not what she was expecting." == Malapropism. 'Defiantly' should be 'definitely'.
"He never thought he would marry nor have children, but he will." == The word 'will' should be 'would'.
But really, these are minor problems that a beta could easily fix.
Well done!
7/29/2009 c1 CrunchyCaramel
Aw *wipes tears from eyes* *And then eats a cookie* *Because cookies r awsome* *I'll shuddup now*
Aw *wipes tears from eyes* *And then eats a cookie* *Because cookies r awsome* *I'll shuddup now*