for White Eye, Gentle Fist10/17/2012 c6 
3Lebnaniya
As promised, here is my second review for this story :)
Let me see, first, as a nod to your other chapters, I'd like to say that I think you've mastered Neji's thoughts and feelings perfectly. He's misunderstood and I love the fact that you showed that in all the other chapters. In a previous chapter, when Neji says that he wants to kiss Tenten but doesn't, I was floored because I honestly believe that's what he would do to himself. He would instinctively want something but deny himself that pleasure out of respect for her. Well done on that!
Hm...let me see, regarding this chapter, I have to say it was a toss between chapter 5 and chapter 6 that I loved. In fact, it's also a tie with the last chapter of this story because it shows that Tenten doesn't need to be rescued. She's strong and capable on her own. Obviously, regarding chapter 5 and 6 I think you are very talented. The mature content was written beautifully and I find it adorable that Neji was tracing his finger over her shoulder at night. Something so very basic and yet intimate.
Lee and Gai were awesome throughout. So I have to say, overall, you are extremely talented and I hope you don't stop writing. I like this story very much and hope you continue writing more.
3LebnaniyaAs promised, here is my second review for this story :)
Let me see, first, as a nod to your other chapters, I'd like to say that I think you've mastered Neji's thoughts and feelings perfectly. He's misunderstood and I love the fact that you showed that in all the other chapters. In a previous chapter, when Neji says that he wants to kiss Tenten but doesn't, I was floored because I honestly believe that's what he would do to himself. He would instinctively want something but deny himself that pleasure out of respect for her. Well done on that!
Hm...let me see, regarding this chapter, I have to say it was a toss between chapter 5 and chapter 6 that I loved. In fact, it's also a tie with the last chapter of this story because it shows that Tenten doesn't need to be rescued. She's strong and capable on her own. Obviously, regarding chapter 5 and 6 I think you are very talented. The mature content was written beautifully and I find it adorable that Neji was tracing his finger over her shoulder at night. Something so very basic and yet intimate.
Lee and Gai were awesome throughout. So I have to say, overall, you are extremely talented and I hope you don't stop writing. I like this story very much and hope you continue writing more.
10/17/2012 c2 Lebnaniya
Intense.
I was on the edge of my seat reading this chapter. You truly are gifted when it comes to writing Neji's thoughts and I absolutely adored his reaction and possessive nature towards Tenten. I've already finished reading the entire thing and needless to say, this was one of my favorite chapters - I focused on this one because I feel like you truly captured and convinced me - as a reader - that this could happen in the anime and manga. Many fanfiction stories don't seem plausible but this certainly does. Excellent work on this fanfiction! _ I'll also leave you another review for the other chapter I most certainly like.
Intense.
I was on the edge of my seat reading this chapter. You truly are gifted when it comes to writing Neji's thoughts and I absolutely adored his reaction and possessive nature towards Tenten. I've already finished reading the entire thing and needless to say, this was one of my favorite chapters - I focused on this one because I feel like you truly captured and convinced me - as a reader - that this could happen in the anime and manga. Many fanfiction stories don't seem plausible but this certainly does. Excellent work on this fanfiction! _ I'll also leave you another review for the other chapter I most certainly like.
9/2/2012 c8 Franny Mika
I quite enjoyed this story, but there is a few bits that nagged me. First of all, Tenten slightly acting as the damsel in distress - it put me off a bit, but that's just my opinion. And I do agree, the ending was a little abrupt and sudden, jumping suddenly from the mission to 'everything is now fine and happy'. I would also l think there would be problems on Neji's side of the story - namely the Hyuuga's conservativeness and strictness. I would imagine the clan being suspicious with Neji absent from the estate for the night he stayed with Tenten, as well as disapproval when they find out about their relationship. But alas, it was a great fanfic - thanks for a sharing!
I quite enjoyed this story, but there is a few bits that nagged me. First of all, Tenten slightly acting as the damsel in distress - it put me off a bit, but that's just my opinion. And I do agree, the ending was a little abrupt and sudden, jumping suddenly from the mission to 'everything is now fine and happy'. I would also l think there would be problems on Neji's side of the story - namely the Hyuuga's conservativeness and strictness. I would imagine the clan being suspicious with Neji absent from the estate for the night he stayed with Tenten, as well as disapproval when they find out about their relationship. But alas, it was a great fanfic - thanks for a sharing!
7/21/2012 c5 Guest
I love this story. I also read To be with you and though I liked the scandalous life style of the characters, I am most impressed with the contrast within your writing style. This story gets to me because it portrays innocent and pure love. It teaches that there is such a thing as intimacy without commiting the act right a way.
I love this story. I also read To be with you and though I liked the scandalous life style of the characters, I am most impressed with the contrast within your writing style. This story gets to me because it portrays innocent and pure love. It teaches that there is such a thing as intimacy without commiting the act right a way.
5/1/2012 c4 DyminJay
I think it fit perfectly! Great job! :)
I think it fit perfectly! Great job! :)
2/27/2012 c8 52057060
I know it's old, but I'm new to fanfics and I REALLY enjoyed this fic! It was well written, mature, and you have detailed and extended vocabulary. It was very emotional. NejiTen is my favorite pairing; thank you for taking the time to write this.
I know it's old, but I'm new to fanfics and I REALLY enjoyed this fic! It was well written, mature, and you have detailed and extended vocabulary. It was very emotional. NejiTen is my favorite pairing; thank you for taking the time to write this.
3/25/2011 c8 48Lady Callista
Wonderfully written! I don't think the ending was too abrupt at all, you told the story you set out to tell. Although I doubt anyone would have objected to more sweet scenes, or more lemon for that matter, it was a good ending to a good story. I just can't get over how descriptive and in-depth of a writer you are; your stories have been a wonderful treasure (especially in a catagory where half the stories are unfinished and probably will be forever, and half of the remaining ones seem to have been written by 12 year olds with no spellcheck and only mediocre writing skills) and I am now off to read more of them.
48Lady CallistaWonderfully written! I don't think the ending was too abrupt at all, you told the story you set out to tell. Although I doubt anyone would have objected to more sweet scenes, or more lemon for that matter, it was a good ending to a good story. I just can't get over how descriptive and in-depth of a writer you are; your stories have been a wonderful treasure (especially in a catagory where half the stories are unfinished and probably will be forever, and half of the remaining ones seem to have been written by 12 year olds with no spellcheck and only mediocre writing skills) and I am now off to read more of them.
3/25/2011 c4 Lady Callista
I don't care if he was OC or not, and maybe he was a little, cause damn, girl, you write him so well. (And when you turn shounen anime into shoujo fanfic, it's almost impossible to keep the characters completely IC. If you're familiar with Bleach, you'll understand when I say I have similiar problems keeping Kuchiki Byakuya in character, and he's ALOT like Neji. :-)) Anyway, awesome start to this story, I got this far with bated breath before I realized I hadn't reviewed yet. It takes talent to write a story with such strong subject matter and do it well.
I don't care if he was OC or not, and maybe he was a little, cause damn, girl, you write him so well. (And when you turn shounen anime into shoujo fanfic, it's almost impossible to keep the characters completely IC. If you're familiar with Bleach, you'll understand when I say I have similiar problems keeping Kuchiki Byakuya in character, and he's ALOT like Neji. :-)) Anyway, awesome start to this story, I got this far with bated breath before I realized I hadn't reviewed yet. It takes talent to write a story with such strong subject matter and do it well.
2/14/2011 c8 JWzipper
Brilliant. I am speechless!
I am so proud of both Neji and TenTen in this story!
You did a very good job on this!
I look forward to other stories!
^-^
Well, Ja Ne!
Brilliant. I am speechless!
I am so proud of both Neji and TenTen in this story!
You did a very good job on this!
I look forward to other stories!
^-^
Well, Ja Ne!
1/29/2011 c8 3CO.ol-Jewlz
awe man i loved this story! it made me cry, laugh, it actually taught me something about myself. which a person must have a talent to create such a setting in such a short story. ANYWAYYYY...ur my favourite author cuz NejiTen are my favourite couple EVER! 3
3CO.ol-Jewlzawe man i loved this story! it made me cry, laugh, it actually taught me something about myself. which a person must have a talent to create such a setting in such a short story. ANYWAYYYY...ur my favourite author cuz NejiTen are my favourite couple EVER! 3
1/19/2011 c8 2M. Mellow
Lol.
You're so good at switching mood in the story.
Tenten get raped (despair), suddenly slight humour and love, then comes hope barging in, and then brutal killing (on Tenten's part), then the sudden epilogue of "happily ever after" scene to boot.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.
:)
2M. MellowLol.
You're so good at switching mood in the story.
Tenten get raped (despair), suddenly slight humour and love, then comes hope barging in, and then brutal killing (on Tenten's part), then the sudden epilogue of "happily ever after" scene to boot.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.
:)
1/19/2011 c5 M. Mellow
Hehe, I laughed at the part where Tenten and Neji were trying to get around the topic of "going out". Ah pure bliss~
Hehe, I laughed at the part where Tenten and Neji were trying to get around the topic of "going out". Ah pure bliss~