for We Are Neos: The Path of Light and Beginning12/31/2010 c1 
9Ame Yumeko
Aw, that was short... but somehow I have a feeling that dream is not just going to go away. :3
If I can make a suggestion, I think it would be good to use more imagery in your story. Like, instead of saying "he made the girl mad," describe the face she made or use some other cue to show that she's mad. It makes your writing flow better and also helps to develop the characters. There are some places where you already do this well-for example, I like that you introduce the setting by having her call out to the nurse.
Black Rose and the boy are funny. I like the dynamic between them.
Hope you will keep posting this! Neo Senshi stories are fun to read~!
9Ame YumekoAw, that was short... but somehow I have a feeling that dream is not just going to go away. :3
If I can make a suggestion, I think it would be good to use more imagery in your story. Like, instead of saying "he made the girl mad," describe the face she made or use some other cue to show that she's mad. It makes your writing flow better and also helps to develop the characters. There are some places where you already do this well-for example, I like that you introduce the setting by having her call out to the nurse.
Black Rose and the boy are funny. I like the dynamic between them.
Hope you will keep posting this! Neo Senshi stories are fun to read~!
12/9/2010 c2 3Reidlover72
good start again
Iam actually enjoying this story which is good because i dont usually read anime :)
3Reidlover72good start again
Iam actually enjoying this story which is good because i dont usually read anime :)
8/6/2010 c2 Light-Princess14
Pretty short but I still liked it. I hope you continue, I know you can do it.
Pretty short but I still liked it. I hope you continue, I know you can do it.
8/6/2010 c1 Light-Princess14
Nice beginning. Reminds me of my own :P Is Black Rose a person or what? Anyways, since you reviewed practically every chapter of my own story, I thought I should do the same. Reading the next one now...
Nice beginning. Reminds me of my own :P Is Black Rose a person or what? Anyways, since you reviewed practically every chapter of my own story, I thought I should do the same. Reading the next one now...
4/5/2010 c2 1Hound of Darkness
Hey! I'm back, anyway intresting so far, although there is still long ways to go with it, keep up the work. - Hound of Darkness
1Hound of DarknessHey! I'm back, anyway intresting so far, although there is still long ways to go with it, keep up the work. - Hound of Darkness
11/24/2009 c1 Hound of Darkness
Seems good so far. I can't wait for next chapter. I will make a proper review when the entire series is finished though.
Seems good so far. I can't wait for next chapter. I will make a proper review when the entire series is finished though.