for Happy Ending5/11/2011 c1 SagaLouise
Älsklingflickan,
Thought you would get this review in Swedish? Hm, well, fine.
Tonen i denna berättelse är omisskänneligen din. Men det märks att det är ett av dina tidigare verk. Kan du se hur långt du har kommit sen dess!
De första gångerna jag läste igenom den, fann jag inte så mycket som talade till mig. Jag tyckte att texten inte flöt riktigt så lätt och obehindrat som dina senare historier har gjort sig utmärkande för. Jag uppfattade den som rätt intetsägande och det fanns ställen där den föll platt på grund av ett visst mått förhastande.
Jag upplevde att jag saknade detaljer, riktningar för att skapa mig en tydlig bild. Visst, det finns små bilder du ger oss, som att Rosalie alltid bryter av filtret på cigaretten t.ex.
Sådana små “trivialiteter” är väldigt viktiga för att bygga upp en mångfasetterad karaktär – något som du är så vansinnigt duktig på att göra!
Jag ställde mig även tveksam till ett visst ordval, men då jag (tack och lov) inte är så gammal (än), så vet jag inte hur konversationerna fördes på 50-talet. Ser man till svenska filmer från den tiden är ju konversationen bara skrattretande att lyssna på!
Dock ska du veta, att du briljerar redan här i dialogerna! För att inte tala om monologerna/Rosalies tankar, som du kan formulera så trovärdigt! Tänk om jag hade den gåvan!
Vad denna text dock gör, som jag upptäckte långt senare, är att den väcker min nyfikenhet! Jag vill veta mer, jag får inte svar på alla mina frågor! Är Rosalie verkligen lycklig? Och om hon skulle förlora precis allting hon blivit given – skulle hon verkligen klara av det? Kanske är det dags för dig att gå tillbaka till denna historia och skriva klart den?
Det är rätt uppenbart att du alltid gör din research innan du sätter igång med skrivandet, du gör det för din egen skull – för att du respekterar dig själv och din skrivargåva. Men du gör det kanske mest i respekt för dina läsare, för att du tar dig tiden att efterforska, att måna om att det blir så trovärdigt du bara kan.
Och det är en fin gest av dig, att inte stressa fram ett alster bara för att ha något att publicera, utan att du tar din tid; kanske till och med tar ett steg tillbaka och väntar fram en text som du verkligen är nöjd med och som du kan stå för.
Så, sammanfattningsvis, är denna berättelse en del av din grund, ditt underlag som du fortsätter att bygga på. Den är en av de berättelserna som har lett dig fram till där du är idag. Se på den med glädje och med visshet om att du utvecklas!
I believe there was a certain dare linked to this review. But as I told you before, I take that back. You know what I’m referring to and know the reasons behind my decision:
your heart. Your beautiful, beautiful heart.
Kisses, Saga
Älsklingflickan,
Thought you would get this review in Swedish? Hm, well, fine.
Tonen i denna berättelse är omisskänneligen din. Men det märks att det är ett av dina tidigare verk. Kan du se hur långt du har kommit sen dess!
De första gångerna jag läste igenom den, fann jag inte så mycket som talade till mig. Jag tyckte att texten inte flöt riktigt så lätt och obehindrat som dina senare historier har gjort sig utmärkande för. Jag uppfattade den som rätt intetsägande och det fanns ställen där den föll platt på grund av ett visst mått förhastande.
Jag upplevde att jag saknade detaljer, riktningar för att skapa mig en tydlig bild. Visst, det finns små bilder du ger oss, som att Rosalie alltid bryter av filtret på cigaretten t.ex.
Sådana små “trivialiteter” är väldigt viktiga för att bygga upp en mångfasetterad karaktär – något som du är så vansinnigt duktig på att göra!
Jag ställde mig även tveksam till ett visst ordval, men då jag (tack och lov) inte är så gammal (än), så vet jag inte hur konversationerna fördes på 50-talet. Ser man till svenska filmer från den tiden är ju konversationen bara skrattretande att lyssna på!
Dock ska du veta, att du briljerar redan här i dialogerna! För att inte tala om monologerna/Rosalies tankar, som du kan formulera så trovärdigt! Tänk om jag hade den gåvan!
Vad denna text dock gör, som jag upptäckte långt senare, är att den väcker min nyfikenhet! Jag vill veta mer, jag får inte svar på alla mina frågor! Är Rosalie verkligen lycklig? Och om hon skulle förlora precis allting hon blivit given – skulle hon verkligen klara av det? Kanske är det dags för dig att gå tillbaka till denna historia och skriva klart den?
Det är rätt uppenbart att du alltid gör din research innan du sätter igång med skrivandet, du gör det för din egen skull – för att du respekterar dig själv och din skrivargåva. Men du gör det kanske mest i respekt för dina läsare, för att du tar dig tiden att efterforska, att måna om att det blir så trovärdigt du bara kan.
Och det är en fin gest av dig, att inte stressa fram ett alster bara för att ha något att publicera, utan att du tar din tid; kanske till och med tar ett steg tillbaka och väntar fram en text som du verkligen är nöjd med och som du kan stå för.
Så, sammanfattningsvis, är denna berättelse en del av din grund, ditt underlag som du fortsätter att bygga på. Den är en av de berättelserna som har lett dig fram till där du är idag. Se på den med glädje och med visshet om att du utvecklas!
I believe there was a certain dare linked to this review. But as I told you before, I take that back. You know what I’m referring to and know the reasons behind my decision:
your heart. Your beautiful, beautiful heart.
Kisses, Saga
10/5/2010 c6 
3Paradoxalpoised
Dear, dear,
Do you know how nice it feels, when you review the previous chapter thinking something and you are proven wrong on the next ? I love it. It feels like you're so in tunes with the story that you just hope for things and the author(ess) hears you. Thank you for that.
I just love the F-word, and you are so right about the whole different american language from all the different parts of the US. You guys are no different in that than Europeans, but i have to say when it's not in your language, watching that phenomenon is fascinating, if I ignore all the trouble it's causing me.
If i were those girls, in their situation at that time, I'd feel really bad.
C.
PS: Why are you so sorry ?
3ParadoxalpoisedDear, dear,
Do you know how nice it feels, when you review the previous chapter thinking something and you are proven wrong on the next ? I love it. It feels like you're so in tunes with the story that you just hope for things and the author(ess) hears you. Thank you for that.
I just love the F-word, and you are so right about the whole different american language from all the different parts of the US. You guys are no different in that than Europeans, but i have to say when it's not in your language, watching that phenomenon is fascinating, if I ignore all the trouble it's causing me.
If i were those girls, in their situation at that time, I'd feel really bad.
C.
PS: Why are you so sorry ?
10/5/2010 c5 Paradoxalpoised
Hi there,
The beginning of your chapter just kind of left me perplex a little. Rosalie is controlled and strong willed, but as a human, I don't know if I would see her as clinical and blasée of life. I mean how cynical that you picture her with the things she says she wanted as a human (in the books), and yet, there is nothing about happiness and love in her life, just cold calculations of how best to hold the king's position in society and keep her little mascarade under control, nothing transcendental in that particular experience.
Her thoughts on Royce's "gayness" and hers are so very practical, no self introspection on an existential level, except maybe for the part where she explains how Royce's gay lovers would be inconvenient, and she much prefers dealing with women. I wonder why, why in this particular story, you don't talk to us about the profound lack of authenticity in her life, I mean if you exclude what she finds between the servants' legs she screws after her husband does.
Isn't she the perfect wife, making sure her husband rises above crises ? I am actually liking the subplot with Rosalie's son, if I can call it a subplot it might very well be the real plot, is he the figure for Rosalie's rebellion ?
I liked it, I liked it very much.
C.
PS: My favorite part is: ""Behave," I said, "in a way that you would be pleased with and proud of the man you see in the mirror.""
That was perfect.
Hi there,
The beginning of your chapter just kind of left me perplex a little. Rosalie is controlled and strong willed, but as a human, I don't know if I would see her as clinical and blasée of life. I mean how cynical that you picture her with the things she says she wanted as a human (in the books), and yet, there is nothing about happiness and love in her life, just cold calculations of how best to hold the king's position in society and keep her little mascarade under control, nothing transcendental in that particular experience.
Her thoughts on Royce's "gayness" and hers are so very practical, no self introspection on an existential level, except maybe for the part where she explains how Royce's gay lovers would be inconvenient, and she much prefers dealing with women. I wonder why, why in this particular story, you don't talk to us about the profound lack of authenticity in her life, I mean if you exclude what she finds between the servants' legs she screws after her husband does.
Isn't she the perfect wife, making sure her husband rises above crises ? I am actually liking the subplot with Rosalie's son, if I can call it a subplot it might very well be the real plot, is he the figure for Rosalie's rebellion ?
I liked it, I liked it very much.
C.
PS: My favorite part is: ""Behave," I said, "in a way that you would be pleased with and proud of the man you see in the mirror.""
That was perfect.
9/22/2010 c4 Paradoxalpoised
I wonder what Rosalie has in mind for the girls.
Noblesse oblige, Rosalie's world is so cold, so impersonal, and she has to keep up appearances . Love would warm her, but then it would chatter her world, and bring her so much pain too.
Poor Mrs Wilson, despair and loneliness, caring for her mistress' lovers.
The world is a jungle.
C.
I wonder what Rosalie has in mind for the girls.
Noblesse oblige, Rosalie's world is so cold, so impersonal, and she has to keep up appearances . Love would warm her, but then it would chatter her world, and bring her so much pain too.
Poor Mrs Wilson, despair and loneliness, caring for her mistress' lovers.
The world is a jungle.
C.
9/22/2010 c3 Paradoxalpoised
You made a cute Sarah, a bit defiant. Rosalie pushing them in each other's arm was funny, especially as she is trying not to show her impatience at the girls shyness.
I guess that's life experience for you, and yes i loved the matter of fact tone Rosalie uses, still very nice, but without detours, to explain to Sarah how life works in their world.
In any case, I will always wonder, not that i don't understand the dynamic of the thing, but still, how can you have a wife like Rosalie, and not want to be with her every second of every day, and make love to her at night. Men...
C.
You made a cute Sarah, a bit defiant. Rosalie pushing them in each other's arm was funny, especially as she is trying not to show her impatience at the girls shyness.
I guess that's life experience for you, and yes i loved the matter of fact tone Rosalie uses, still very nice, but without detours, to explain to Sarah how life works in their world.
In any case, I will always wonder, not that i don't understand the dynamic of the thing, but still, how can you have a wife like Rosalie, and not want to be with her every second of every day, and make love to her at night. Men...
C.
9/22/2010 c2 Paradoxalpoised
This chapter was sweet. The way Rosalie teaches Sarah was gentle. I didn't expect Rosalie to be gentle, she seemed so annoyed, but then she was passionate and caring.
I really felt the peace growing inside of her, just like you explained at the end of your chapter.
C.
This chapter was sweet. The way Rosalie teaches Sarah was gentle. I didn't expect Rosalie to be gentle, she seemed so annoyed, but then she was passionate and caring.
I really felt the peace growing inside of her, just like you explained at the end of your chapter.
C.
9/22/2010 c1 Paradoxalpoised
I like the beginning of this story, and since I have your brother's story freshly in mind, I very well remember the "birds & bees" conversation.
It's sad though that Rosalie does not have a close relationship with her son. You seemed to insist on this matter, maybe it's a premise of a future arc in the plot.
I liked your tone, very fifties, it fits, and my favorite moment was definitely the "fag". I didn't know Americans said fag for cigarette, I thought it was a very British of a term. In any case, I can see Rosalie's irritation off of her in that passage, and Mrs. Wilson total submission.
Once again, well done, and on to the next chapter.
C.
I like the beginning of this story, and since I have your brother's story freshly in mind, I very well remember the "birds & bees" conversation.
It's sad though that Rosalie does not have a close relationship with her son. You seemed to insist on this matter, maybe it's a premise of a future arc in the plot.
I liked your tone, very fifties, it fits, and my favorite moment was definitely the "fag". I didn't know Americans said fag for cigarette, I thought it was a very British of a term. In any case, I can see Rosalie's irritation off of her in that passage, and Mrs. Wilson total submission.
Once again, well done, and on to the next chapter.
C.
7/9/2010 c2 7ima nut so what aka pussyninja
So i decided to look into this fic and as i read the first chapter, i immediately thought it was gonna be some straight up Rose/Royce fic with straight sex. Oh my my my...i was so unbelievably fooled! Naughty, naughty, Rosalie! I thought she was gonna go set em straight? Oh she set em straight alright...straight into that bed and on thier backs! Lol, that was awesome!
7ima nut so what aka pussyninjaSo i decided to look into this fic and as i read the first chapter, i immediately thought it was gonna be some straight up Rose/Royce fic with straight sex. Oh my my my...i was so unbelievably fooled! Naughty, naughty, Rosalie! I thought she was gonna go set em straight? Oh she set em straight alright...straight into that bed and on thier backs! Lol, that was awesome!
1/28/2010 c6 251readaholic15
now this has got to be one of the most original fics I've read so far! I mean, not a single fic that I've seen has Rosalie's life if she actually married Royce and I'm loving it.
Great grammar and spelling! plus your actual writing and material is well-structured and mature, you're an excellent author and I can't wait for more from this fic!
251readaholic15now this has got to be one of the most original fics I've read so far! I mean, not a single fic that I've seen has Rosalie's life if she actually married Royce and I'm loving it.
Great grammar and spelling! plus your actual writing and material is well-structured and mature, you're an excellent author and I can't wait for more from this fic!
1/1/2010 c6 massrie
Rosalie is as ever correct.
Allowing a "servant" to call you Mistress in front of the entire staff is akin to alluding that each and every one of them might aspire to that position were they only engaging in the same activities as little Sarah.
I wonder what her punishment would be. I know in my "realm" what it would be, but Rosalie's so much different. Mrs Brown though, I don't really have a feel for her yet. I'm waiting to understand her character a bit more before I decide that I can judge what she's going to do in a given manner.
The Cursing is completely understandable In my opinion. They do talk very different on the other coast than we do here. It didn't shock me in the slightest however.
Tears never work on a "Mistress" anyway. Not unless they asked for them in the first place. Something I'm sure little Ms. Moira, and Ms Sarah will learn rather quickly.
I'm not sure however, that I would like to have such an angry Rosalie displeased with me. Though Knowing myself, I probably would.
*grin*
A Very Happy New year to you!
Rosalie is as ever correct.
Allowing a "servant" to call you Mistress in front of the entire staff is akin to alluding that each and every one of them might aspire to that position were they only engaging in the same activities as little Sarah.
I wonder what her punishment would be. I know in my "realm" what it would be, but Rosalie's so much different. Mrs Brown though, I don't really have a feel for her yet. I'm waiting to understand her character a bit more before I decide that I can judge what she's going to do in a given manner.
The Cursing is completely understandable In my opinion. They do talk very different on the other coast than we do here. It didn't shock me in the slightest however.
Tears never work on a "Mistress" anyway. Not unless they asked for them in the first place. Something I'm sure little Ms. Moira, and Ms Sarah will learn rather quickly.
I'm not sure however, that I would like to have such an angry Rosalie displeased with me. Though Knowing myself, I probably would.
*grin*
A Very Happy New year to you!
12/31/2009 c6 18Jocelyn Torrent
Ah, the wrath strikes again, no? That Sarah girl is some kinda stupid. I mean, I realize that she just got off the boat from Ireland but if it looks like Mrs. King, acts like Mrs. King and has the authority of Mrs.King, it should just be common sense to stay away. Poor Moira's the only one that's got it right. Stand there and be scared. (at least, that's how I think I'd behave.) :P
On a slightly critical note (though it might just be personal preference on my part) I thought that Rosalie used 'fuck' too much. I mean, she is a King, after all. Very pristine and such. And I would think that she would take pride in being able to frighten everyone without such language. Then again, Fuck is a wonderful word. Great chapter :)
Jocelyn/Alice/I forget my names
18Jocelyn TorrentAh, the wrath strikes again, no? That Sarah girl is some kinda stupid. I mean, I realize that she just got off the boat from Ireland but if it looks like Mrs. King, acts like Mrs. King and has the authority of Mrs.King, it should just be common sense to stay away. Poor Moira's the only one that's got it right. Stand there and be scared. (at least, that's how I think I'd behave.) :P
On a slightly critical note (though it might just be personal preference on my part) I thought that Rosalie used 'fuck' too much. I mean, she is a King, after all. Very pristine and such. And I would think that she would take pride in being able to frighten everyone without such language. Then again, Fuck is a wonderful word. Great chapter :)
Jocelyn/Alice/I forget my names
12/31/2009 c6 1GothicPheonix
Poor 'ignorant'; sarah...OUCH! Well, definitely a Hale. Rosalie being Rosalie...what a mess... :(
Loved this part:
It was Mrs. Wilson. She wasn’t anywhere in the servants’ work area before that I had seen, but here she had materialized, right beside Mr. Brown, looking unperturbed.
But she knew she was in for it.
“Why, yes,” I said to her, “that’d be nice.”
We headed out to the courtyard. On our way out, Mrs. Wilson looked toward Moira, then looked out the door. Moira headed over to Sarah and whispered something, then pulled on her arm. As Mrs. Wilson and I left, I heard Sarah’s befuddled, “... but I don’t smoke!” It was a cute Irish accent, I would miss it if she didn’t make it through this next ‘conversation.’
Materializing out of nowhere XD 'Cute little accent' :) Yep
1GothicPheonixPoor 'ignorant'; sarah...OUCH! Well, definitely a Hale. Rosalie being Rosalie...what a mess... :(
Loved this part:
It was Mrs. Wilson. She wasn’t anywhere in the servants’ work area before that I had seen, but here she had materialized, right beside Mr. Brown, looking unperturbed.
But she knew she was in for it.
“Why, yes,” I said to her, “that’d be nice.”
We headed out to the courtyard. On our way out, Mrs. Wilson looked toward Moira, then looked out the door. Moira headed over to Sarah and whispered something, then pulled on her arm. As Mrs. Wilson and I left, I heard Sarah’s befuddled, “... but I don’t smoke!” It was a cute Irish accent, I would miss it if she didn’t make it through this next ‘conversation.’
Materializing out of nowhere XD 'Cute little accent' :) Yep
12/27/2009 c5 18Jocelyn Torrent
Ah, poor Rosalie. Not that she cares, but to be so...ignored as she is. Maybe she does care. Who knows :P I really like what you're doing with her son. I assume there will be more of him in the future? He seems like a perfect opposite for Rosalie to relate to. Great chapter :)
Jocelyn
18Jocelyn TorrentAh, poor Rosalie. Not that she cares, but to be so...ignored as she is. Maybe she does care. Who knows :P I really like what you're doing with her son. I assume there will be more of him in the future? He seems like a perfect opposite for Rosalie to relate to. Great chapter :)
Jocelyn