3/5/2010 c1 11Xangelic-demonicX
Okay...what the heck is this?

What the heck is this?

What the heck is this?

What the heck is this?

Honestly, this is not related to 07 Ghost in any way, and shouldn't be clogging up the archive. In addition, the spacing's absolutely horrible and the story's an abomination in general.

For a story like this, try (original fiction)

But this story's beyond help in my opinion.

If you're really dedicated to it, try this:

1. No dialogue style.

Bad

Random Guy: "My name is webzahoy..."

"My name is webzahoy," said Random Guy.

2. Name your characters. (E.g. Bob, instead of Random Guy)

3. Don't use chatspeak. (OMG v.s. oh my god)

4. Don't use stage directions. Take out (Zoey my friend, walks in like a retard). Instead just type "Zoey, my friend, walked in like a retard."

5. GET A DAMN BETA! Horrible spelling, grammar in general.

6. Try to capitalize less. It's hard on the eyes.

7. Fix the spacing, please. This just looks like a chunk of words, honestly. Did you blurt this out onto the page in two seconds or something?

Anyways, if you're serious on fixing, there's some advice you should START with.

Sincerely,

~Xangelic-demonicX