4/10/2012 c4 1Kainen-no-Kitsune
I can't wait to see how Edward reacts to Bella running into the meadow.

2/6/2011 c3 9fanpire.x
Sounds really interesting :D Although, I probably would have had a different reaction than Bella's to Alice letting the accident happen... Oh well, to each his own, right? Anywho, keep writing xxx

8/5/2010 c3 KJA
You are doing a good job with this. I was a bit worried about how this story was going to be however after reading three chapters I am really liking how you have made the situation flow.

It looks like you are going to get some good character development in for Bella so that she learns to become a stronger willed individual and do so earlier in the story.

I like how you have presented Alice. She was my favorite character in the Twilight books and you use her well here. In some ways he use of her visions feels a bit like how you had Chloe use her memory and experiences in the portal series.

I will note that Bella's thoughts about Alice's ability to see the future seeming like a violation of physics is a neat thought. However we know that Alice only sees possible futures, as when decisions are made what she sees changes in accordance with them. Also I would say that if the many worlds theory is right then Alice's visions side step the issue entirely as the things she sees still happen an an alternate reality unchanged. How ever you are going to develop it it's fun to speculate.

On the issue of the bionic modification of Bella and Jaime I was surprised by your use of nanotechnology in this story. It raises and interesting point however. It solves Bella's problem for being with the Cullens but what about Jaime and Becca as Jaime could outlive her sister by centuries? Also I wonder how much of the material in Bella and Jaime is bio-synthetic because weather or not they are still vulnerable to being changed by Vampire venom could be an issue.

Finally a thought that occurred to me is that you have Jamie and Bella running at 70 MPH. I read an article once that said that the human body is physically capable of running at 40 MPH only limited by how fast the muscle tissue can expand and contract and the skeleton and absorber the shock generated by such movement. I will try looking it up and E-mailing the link to you.

You have a lot of fun things going on in this story and I am going to be sure to follow it.

7/28/2010 c3 mwjen
Great story thanks for posting.

7/20/2010 c1 2Captain Halcyon
HEY! i !LOVE! this story!

unfortunately i cant access the second chapter, but i like where it's going!

Please update soon!