for The Other Side of Orion4/19 c7 Sara
I've just got round to this, and I really liked it. But it feels unfinished, unresolved. A second instalment would be appreciated encompassing the road trip - gathering the crew of Atlantis and making them remember and finally the re-taking of Atlantis. You have a real gift for writing, It would be a shame to let this go unresolved
I've just got round to this, and I really liked it. But it feels unfinished, unresolved. A second instalment would be appreciated encompassing the road trip - gathering the crew of Atlantis and making them remember and finally the re-taking of Atlantis. You have a real gift for writing, It would be a shame to let this go unresolved
7/27/2011 c7 
1Loriel Eris
Really didn't expect where the story ended up, but I really like it. Part of me wants 'the rest of the story', but the other part of me knows that this is the perfect ending for this story (and we know that everything is going to work out!).
I loved how you wove this story together and worked your way to the reveal at the end.
1Loriel ErisReally didn't expect where the story ended up, but I really like it. Part of me wants 'the rest of the story', but the other part of me knows that this is the perfect ending for this story (and we know that everything is going to work out!).
I loved how you wove this story together and worked your way to the reveal at the end.
4/1/2011 c7 12sheppardlover928
Very interesting story! Hope you update soon so we can find out how Dave is going to accomplish his task! I gave always loved that John had the strongest gene/connection with Atlantis.
12sheppardlover928Very interesting story! Hope you update soon so we can find out how Dave is going to accomplish his task! I gave always loved that John had the strongest gene/connection with Atlantis.
3/30/2011 c7 jesm
Wonderful. I loved the depth and insight of the characters, giving in little glimpses. Well written too, especially the way you left the ending. Thanks.
Wonderful. I loved the depth and insight of the characters, giving in little glimpses. Well written too, especially the way you left the ending. Thanks.
3/19/2011 c7 18hifield
Wonderful story ... loved the ending and the thought of them both on a road trip together.
18hifieldWonderful story ... loved the ending and the thought of them both on a road trip together.
3/19/2011 c7 1bumblebuzz
Interesting and fascinating story! I'm always a sucker for a story with John's family, and following Dave through the labyrinth of Atlantis and the dreamscape was enthralling. I loved Dave's gift as a way to see into the other characters, and ultimately to his own understanding of who John is. Really loved this - well done!
1bumblebuzzInteresting and fascinating story! I'm always a sucker for a story with John's family, and following Dave through the labyrinth of Atlantis and the dreamscape was enthralling. I loved Dave's gift as a way to see into the other characters, and ultimately to his own understanding of who John is. Really loved this - well done!
3/17/2011 c7 Me
I love the hope that the brothers had a story together. That this was just the beginning. But I really liked the italics:
They were at that hospital where Mom died, John sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands, silent and isolated while David made plans for the funeral and their father went back to work. John was in the desert, holding the broken body of a woman he loved. He was coming home to an empty house, Nancy's stuff packed and gone, a note taped to the fridge. He was standing on David's porch as his brother asked if he was there for the money.
"You fight for family because you love them, and you don't want to lose any more," the lady said. "And they love you, too."
Teyla was holding a baby, giving him John's name. McKay was on the edge of pier, joking about Arthur. John was trapped under a beam, sweating and broken and holding up a gun toward the ceiling, telling Ronon it was a pleasure to work with him. Elizabeth was telling him about his promotion, smirking behind a plain metal cup of coffee, beaming with beauty and pride. Zalenka was telling John that he'd done well, a hand curled over his shoulder. Kusinagi was placing a thin, wrapped box next to John's hospital bed. Lorne was standing with him at the highest pier, silently enjoying the sunset, all of their people home and accounted for. Carson was stitching up John's eyebrow and assuring him his good looks would be intact. A bunch of marines were standing at attention as John limped past them, arm around Dr. Keller's shoulder.
I love the hope that the brothers had a story together. That this was just the beginning. But I really liked the italics:
They were at that hospital where Mom died, John sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands, silent and isolated while David made plans for the funeral and their father went back to work. John was in the desert, holding the broken body of a woman he loved. He was coming home to an empty house, Nancy's stuff packed and gone, a note taped to the fridge. He was standing on David's porch as his brother asked if he was there for the money.
"You fight for family because you love them, and you don't want to lose any more," the lady said. "And they love you, too."
Teyla was holding a baby, giving him John's name. McKay was on the edge of pier, joking about Arthur. John was trapped under a beam, sweating and broken and holding up a gun toward the ceiling, telling Ronon it was a pleasure to work with him. Elizabeth was telling him about his promotion, smirking behind a plain metal cup of coffee, beaming with beauty and pride. Zalenka was telling John that he'd done well, a hand curled over his shoulder. Kusinagi was placing a thin, wrapped box next to John's hospital bed. Lorne was standing with him at the highest pier, silently enjoying the sunset, all of their people home and accounted for. Carson was stitching up John's eyebrow and assuring him his good looks would be intact. A bunch of marines were standing at attention as John limped past them, arm around Dr. Keller's shoulder.
3/17/2011 c6 me
I liked the idea of running through the love of john's life, and seeing how differently he viewed them.
"As long as you chased the guilt of what happened to Mom?" David asked. "The guilt of cancer, the guilt of enemy fire for Rebecca. The guilt that burned your first marriage and keeps you pushing these people—this family you created here—away. You're too old for this, John. Too old to let things like this control your life."
"You're one to talk."
"I am. Because I have a family now, John. A company I love. Work I support. Friends who know me. I'm done running. I've been done for a long time." He reached out and put his hand on John's wrist. "Be done, too."
I liked the idea of running through the love of john's life, and seeing how differently he viewed them.
"As long as you chased the guilt of what happened to Mom?" David asked. "The guilt of cancer, the guilt of enemy fire for Rebecca. The guilt that burned your first marriage and keeps you pushing these people—this family you created here—away. You're too old for this, John. Too old to let things like this control your life."
"You're one to talk."
"I am. Because I have a family now, John. A company I love. Work I support. Friends who know me. I'm done running. I've been done for a long time." He reached out and put his hand on John's wrist. "Be done, too."
3/17/2011 c5 ME
Because Carter is a BAMF:
"Atlantis loves that you're here," David said, and her bubbling energy instantly simmered into curiosity, the way he knew it would. It was clear how little acknowledgement she got. "You were like this unexpected gift one day, after a long, sad period. The fact that my brother respects you made it feel like it could be whole again."
Because Carter is a BAMF:
"Atlantis loves that you're here," David said, and her bubbling energy instantly simmered into curiosity, the way he knew it would. It was clear how little acknowledgement she got. "You were like this unexpected gift one day, after a long, sad period. The fact that my brother respects you made it feel like it could be whole again."
3/17/2011 c4 Me
I just liked reflections on John's character, on the man he became after their mom died and dad said things he didn't mean. And the way Teyla sees him, but I like this snapshot of the crew:
Ronon Dex and Dr. McKay went through the gate, too. The first because he had a grudge a mile wide and a thousand feet deep. The second because he was arrogant and brilliant enough to know he could help. Teyla Emmagan went with them, her hands empty but purposeful.
And Colonel Samantha Carter stood rigidly at the top of the stairs that night, her blue eyes narrowed on the stargate, as if she could see through the light-years to the world beyond, where Evan Lorne and his team were saving people for no other reason than that they felt they should.
I just liked reflections on John's character, on the man he became after their mom died and dad said things he didn't mean. And the way Teyla sees him, but I like this snapshot of the crew:
Ronon Dex and Dr. McKay went through the gate, too. The first because he had a grudge a mile wide and a thousand feet deep. The second because he was arrogant and brilliant enough to know he could help. Teyla Emmagan went with them, her hands empty but purposeful.
And Colonel Samantha Carter stood rigidly at the top of the stairs that night, her blue eyes narrowed on the stargate, as if she could see through the light-years to the world beyond, where Evan Lorne and his team were saving people for no other reason than that they felt they should.
3/17/2011 c3 Me
I like the reflection on John through the eyes of his crew, about sacrifice coming up around his name a lot, and the conversation with Elizabeth. But I like this more:
"Right." John stuck his hands in his pockets, and that part of the conversation was done. Done like their discussion of Dad, the memory of Mom, and the words exchanged so angrily nearly five years before. They were a quiet family after Mom died, and they were probably the worse for it. But David didn't have the energy to bridge that gap now any more than he had the last time he saw his brother, even if the anger had abated. But the soothing, insistent feeling in the back of his head would not let that silence linger.
I like the reflection on John through the eyes of his crew, about sacrifice coming up around his name a lot, and the conversation with Elizabeth. But I like this more:
"Right." John stuck his hands in his pockets, and that part of the conversation was done. Done like their discussion of Dad, the memory of Mom, and the words exchanged so angrily nearly five years before. They were a quiet family after Mom died, and they were probably the worse for it. But David didn't have the energy to bridge that gap now any more than he had the last time he saw his brother, even if the anger had abated. But the soothing, insistent feeling in the back of his head would not let that silence linger.
3/17/2011 c2 Me
Favorite part: insight into Ronon:
"I'll take him," Ronon said, his deep voice so different than everyone else's, rumbling with the sound an oncoming fight, the memory of a chase so long and intense that he couldn't remember what it was like to stand still and breathe. And for a moment, as if he had been pulled out of this room and its dealings, David wanted nothing more than to let Ronon Dex rest.
Favorite part: insight into Ronon:
"I'll take him," Ronon said, his deep voice so different than everyone else's, rumbling with the sound an oncoming fight, the memory of a chase so long and intense that he couldn't remember what it was like to stand still and breathe. And for a moment, as if he had been pulled out of this room and its dealings, David wanted nothing more than to let Ronon Dex rest.