6/6 c1 DAMN YOU TEN
Courage the Cowardly Dog The Lost Episode.

Who doesn't remember the show Courage The Cowardly Dog? The show about the purple dog and his elderly owners who always ran into monsters and other creepy stuff. It scared the crap out of me when I was a kid, although I always loved watching it. The show was sadly cancelled back in 2002.

A few weeks ago I was flipping through the channels at 4 AM. I'm an insomniac so obviously I was having trouble sleeping. I was happy to see that Courage was on Cartoon Network, so I put it on. Awesome, the Demon in the Mattress episode! I always loved this one.

After watching the episode and experiencing nostalgia, another episode came on, but for some reason the opening of the show was in black and white and grainy, kind of like a really old film, but it was completely silent. After the opening titles, the show came on normally.

It began with Courage sitting in the basement, lying in a pool of what looked like blood. It then cut to Eustace at the top of the staircase, slamming the door and saying his usual "Stupid dog!" line. I was pretty sure I had never seen this one, and I was pretty shocked to see the blood.

Courage's face looked severely depressed as he just lie there on the floor. The sound of glass breaking was heard upstairs, and it then cut to Muriel sitting in her rocking chair with Eustace on top of her strangling her. I felt extremely uncomfortable at this point. The screen cut to black and Muriel's piercing scream was heard.

Total blackness for a moment. It then cut back into a hospital room. Lying in the bed was Muriel, in a coma-like state. No audio was playing at all. Suddenly Eustace appeared aside of her and gave an evil and menacing look towards me until grabbing the oxygen tube, keeping Muriel alive and snapping it in half. The only sound heard was a heart rate monitor indicating her heart had stopped and that she was dead.

Eustace just suddenly disappeared, and Muriel's lifeless body turned into a pile of rotting meat. The blackness appeared again, and the sound of static was heard for a brief moment until it cut to Courage in a graveyard in the rain digging a grave that said Muriel Bagge on it. From out of nowhere he picked up the pile of rotting meat and dumped it into the hole that he dug in the ground, and then covered it back up with the dirt. He howled up at the moon above him. The scene faded out into black and the end credits played normally.

4/1 c1 Forgotten Finding
Dexter was a boy who never knew many pleasures. Most of his day consisted of work, work, and more work. Each day at the lab was cold, exhausting… lonely… Sure there was Computer, but pornography and flesh lights for a teenage(?) boy is like a plastic gun for a soldier… After a normal day at work, Dexter sits in his chair, staring into a mirror. Staring, for hours, and hours, trying to work up the courage to tell Computer to pull the trigger. "You disgust me… You are fucking sick… Look at you… You… PERVERT! Look at your gloves…", he follows with a sigh. "Computer… pull…" He moves his face into his hands with a quivering sob. "Pull… up the video".

Suddenly, an image appeared on the big screen. It was a live camera feed, coming from the bedroom of his sister, Deedee. The room was empty, and Dexter's face donned a red tint. Was it from anger, or something else? Something festering deep inside… Burning… Tearing… Yearning to burst forth… He looked down to his lap. There was a bulge of such a magnitude that it made a molehill out of a mountain. He looked back towards the screen, still nothing. He began to use his gloved hand to violently rub his eager member against his inner thigh, "Yessssss! Yessssss! Soooooon you will be fed! Soon my greatest sexual experiment WILL be completed!" But even he knew it was no longer an experiment. What had begun as a depraved attempt to ejaculate to his own sibling had evolved into… He turned his head. He was now completely fixated on his pet lab monkey, Monkey. His cock was being rubbed raw from outside his pants. Monkey knew exactly what that look meant… It was the look of an animal. A wild animal in heat. Monkey understood, and turned around, pressing his simian cheeks to the bars of his cage. As Dexter's eyes lost every ounce of humanity, Monkey began to floss his ass with one of the bars until Dexter could take it no longer. He sprung from his seat and ran straight for the cage! He opened the door and pissed in Monkey's anus, for smoother entry. Then, he drank a hair-growth serum, making hair grow all over his body, before shaving it all to jagged stubble. His glorious fiery cock dilated Monkey's rectum like a circus balloon, thrusting at such speeds that some of the piss splashed out and stung his razor burn. Thrust after violent thrust, Dexter began to hold Monkey closer and closer until he was able to use his pointy shaved stubble to rub Monkey's hairs slowly off. Dexter wanted Deedee, and only Deedee, so Monkey had to LOOK like Deedee. He noticed Monkey's skin showing up red, and decided to soften his horrid shaving ritual, so he pulled out his dick and rammed it so far up his own ass that shit fell all over Monkey's back. Dexter rubbed it around and decided this was the best shaving cream he was going to get, and for efficiency he began to shave with his cock. Or, he would have if it hadn't been so long and gotten stuck in his own asshole. He grabbed Monkey's face and forced him to bite the cock in half. The limp residue still inside his ass fell to the floor with a brown, bloodied "FLOP!". The remainder looked like a cigar that someone had been smoking on for a few minutes, dripping with blood. He tied one end of the dead piece of cock to Monkey's ear, then lead the rest into his mouth, which he bolted shut so that Monkey could always taste his noble dick. Dexter then took an incision tool and made four slits at the tip of Monkey's penis. At this point, Monkey could intervene with his super powers, but he could not risk losing his secret identity! Dexter shoved one finger at a time into Monkey's piss-hole until it was big enough to be docked by Dexter's scientific cigar penis. All of this was enough to create a blast of cum and blood like that of a shotgun. Noticing the defiled, naked, raunchy site before him, Dexter turned away. "THIS EXPERIMENT WAS A FAILURE", he shouted, zipping up his pants.

Suddenly a voice echoed from behind some machines, "I wouldn't say that, little bro…". It was Deedee. She had seen the whole thing. But why hadn't she run? Dexter knew why. He looked to her large feet and saw a puddle. She would never admit it, but bestiality turned her on. Dexter used to watch her fuck her pile of stuffed animals on the hidden cam every day. Deedee looked so innocent, standing there in her puddle of cum. "Dexter… What does THIS button do..?" She slowly walked up and ran her finger from Dexter's taint to the button of his jeans, punctuated with a single poke. "I'm not wearing any panties", she said, as she pulled off her shirt to reveal a washboard chest, made up for by her now naked colossal feet. She used her toes to undo Dexter's pants, and then began sending her toe jam into his cock hole. This was too much for Dexter, who was only used to cumming once per day, and so two streams of blood shot straight from his nose into her eager pussy. She was getting fucked, but not in a way she expected. The blood streams felt like they were two cocks with minds of their own, blasting and practically decimating her clit. She was overcome with ecstasy, and she shot a huge blast of cum from her puss. The cum blast and blood blast clashed like two Kamehameha waves, until Deedee's blast overpowered Dexter's, and Dexter was bukkake'd into oblivion.

2/6 c1 Ten ways to be retarded
I was an intern at Fuzzy Door Productions for a year in 2010 for my degree in animation. It wasn't paid, of course, but most internships aren't. It did have some perks beyond education, though. To adults, it might not seem like a big one, but most kids at the time would have shit themselves over it. Since I worked directly with the editors and animators, I got to view the new episodes days before they were aired.I'll get right to it without giving too many unnecessary details. They had very recently made the Family Guy Season 8 Finale, and the entire staff was somewhat out of creativity, so it took them a little longer to start up the new season, but the delay lasted longer for more upsetting reasons. There was a problem with the season nine premiere that set everyone and everything back for several months.

Two other interns and I were in the editing room along with the lead animators and sound editors for the final cut. We received the copy that was supposed to be "The Death of James Woods," and gathered around the screen to watch. Now, given that it isn't final yet, animators often put up a mock title card as a little inside joke, with phony, often times lewd titles, such as "Brian-Roll" instead of "Meet the Quagmires", the episode where Peter and Brian go back in time to 1984. There's nothing particularly funny except for a few work-related chuckles. So, when we looked at the title on a sheet of paper we got, "Meg's Suicide," we didn't think it more than a morbid joke. One of the interns did a small throat laugh at it. The theme song played as normal.

The story began with Meg writing a report, screwing up a few times as normal. We hear Peter laughing like a retard outside and Meg stops, yelling at him to keep it down as she had a essay to present tomorrow at school and needed to finish it. Peter goes into the house and farts in Meg's face. The scene ends and we see the ending of Meg's report. This is where things begin to seem off. While reading, a few frames were skipped, but the sound continues (at this point, sound is synced up with animation, so yes that's not common), but when Meg finish reading the sound finishes as if the skip never happened. There is a slight murmuring in the class before they begin to boo him. This wasn't the normal cartoon booing that's common in the show. You could clearly hear malice in it. Meg was in full frame and looked visibly afraid. The shot goes to the class, with Lois in center frame. She, too, is booing, which is very much unlike her. That isn't the oddest thing, though. What's odd is that everyone had hyper-realistic eyes. They were very detailed. They weren't shots of real peoples' eyes, but something a bit more real than CGI. The pupils were red, too. Some of us looked at each other, obviously confused, but since we weren't the writers we didn't question its appeal to teens and young adults… yet.

The shot goes to Meg as she sat on the edge of her bed, looking very disturbed. The view out of her window was of a night sky, so it must be in the evening after school. At this point, there was no sound. There was LITERALLY no sound. There wasn't even feedback from the speakers in the room. It was as if the speakers were turned off, though their status showed them working perfectly. She simply sat there, blinking, in this silence for about thirty seconds, until she began to sob softly. She put her hands over her eyes and cried quietly for a full minute more, all the while a sound in the background slowly growing from nothing to barely audible. It sounded like a slight breeze through a screen slowly began to zoom in on her face. By slowly, I mean it was only noticeable if you look at shots ten seconds apart side by side. Her sobbing got louder and more full of hurt and anger. The screen twitches a bit for a split second, as if it twisted in on itself, then returned to normal. The wind-through-the-trees sound got slowly louder and more severe, as if a storm was brewing somewhere. The eerie part was that this sound and Meg's sobbing sounded real, as if the sound wasn't coming from the speakers but as if the speakers were holes the sound was coming through from the other side. As good quality as the studio likes to have, they don't purchase the equipment to be that good to produce sound of that quality.

Below the sound of the wind and sobbing – very faint – something sounded like laughing. It came at odd intervals and never lasted more than a second, so you had a hard time pinning it. After 30 seconds of this, the screen blurred and twitched violently as something flashed over the screen – as if one single frame was replaced. The lead animation editor paused and rewound frame by frame, and what we saw was horrible. It was a still photo of Michael Jackson in his coffin, where he had a knife lodged in his throat. We thought this was very odd because Seth MacFarlane told us he would not put in anymore Michael Jackson gags because he has respect for the dead. The most upsetting part was that there was words written in blood that said "CHILD MOLESTER" on his chest, which was bare because the shirt was ripped open.

We were, of course, mortified, but pressed on, hoping it was just a sick joke. The screen flipped back to Meg, still sobbing. She was louder than before, and only half of her body was in the frame. There was now what appeared to be blood running down her face from her eyes. The blood was also done in a hyper realistic style; looking as if you touched it you'd get blood on your fingers. The wind sounded now as if it were a gale blowing through a forest; there were even snapping sounds of branches. The laughing, a deep baritone, lasted at longer intervals and came more frequently. After about twenty seconds, the screen again twisted and showed a single frame photo. The editor was reluctant to go back, as we all were, but he knew he had to.

This time, the photo was that of what appeared to be a little kitten that was completely massacred, and lying in a pool of blood. I had to choke back vomit and Alex Borstein, the voice of Lois Griffin, ran out of the room. the show resumed. About five seconds after this second photo played, all sound stopped, like it was when this scene started. She put her hands down and her eyes were done in hyperrealism like the others were in the beginning of this episode. They were bleeding, bloodshot, and pulsating. She stared at the screen, as if watching the viewer. After ten seconds, she started sobbing, though not covering her eyes. The sound was piercing and loud, and most fear inducing of all was her sobbing; it was mixed with screams. Tears and blood were dripping down her face at a heavy rate. The wind sound came back, and so did the deep-voiced laughing. The next still photo lasted for a good five frames. The animator was able to stop it on the fourth and backed up. This time, the photo was of a elderly man, about 75 years old, the scene felt odd. The man was being hanged and the end of the rope was being held by a manly hand. The animator proceeded. It was hard to believe, but the next one was different, though we couldn't tell how. He went on to the next, and it was the same thing. Then he went back to the first and played them quicker. I lost it, throwing up.

The animating and sound editors were gasping at the screen. The five frames were not as if they were five different photos. They were played out as if they were frames from a video. We saw the hand slowly pull on the ropes, we saw the dude's eyes bulge from their sockets, and we even saw two frames of the eyes starting to bleed. The lead sound editor told us to stop. He had to call in the creator to see it. Seth MacFarlane arrived within fifteen minutes. He was confused as to why he was called down there, so the editor continued the episode.

Once the few frames were shown, all screaming, all sound again stopped. Meg was staring at the viewer, her entire face in the frame, for about three seconds. The shot quickly panned out and that deep voice said, "DIE FUCKER." Which was also weird because they put censors for those kind of words. The next thing we see is a firecracker in Meg's hands. She immediately lit it puts it in her mouth and explodes. Realistic blood and brain matter splattered the window and bed behind her, and she flies back from the force. The last five seconds of the episode show her body on the bed, on her side, with no head, realistic blood and organs, gorier than what is allowed to be shown on television. Then the episode MacFarlane was obviously angry about it. He demanded to know what the hell was going on. Most people left the room at that point, so it was just a handful of us to watch it again. Viewing the episode twice only served to imprint the entirety of it into my mind and caused me horrible nightmares. I'm sorry I stayed.

The only theory we could think of was that someone in the chain from the drawing studio to here edited the file. The CTO was called in to analyze when it happened. The analysis of the file did show it was edited over by new material, however, the timestamp of it happening was a mere 15 seconds before we began viewing it. All equipment involved was examined for foreign software and hardware, as well as glitches – as if the time stamp may have glitches and showed the wrong time – but everything checked out fine. We don't know what happened, and to this day, nobody does. There was an investigation due to the nature of the hung man, but nothing came of it. There was no files found on the photo of MJ. The elderly man seen was never identified and no clues were gathered from the data involved or physical clues in the photos. I never believed in unexplainable phenomena before, but now that I have… If something happens and I can't prove anything about it beyond anecdotal evidence, I think twice about things.

11/17/2011 c1 14Wendy Brune
First, let me precursor this review by letting you know that I'm probably not fully knowledgeable of the fandom. I've watched my brother play the game way too many times to count when I was little, but I don't know any of the nuances. Therefore, feel free to take this review with a grain of salt. =)

I really liked your opening paragraph. The personification of words was very poetic, and you were able to give out a lot of information without just telling the reader the background.

You do a wonderful job with your descriptions in this piece. It's very thorough without overloading the reader with too much detail, especially in the feast scene. I also felt you did a very nice job explaining and conveying Zelda's emotions and thoughts. I was able to sympathize with her based on your words alone - that's a pretty impressive skill to pull off!

If I had to give you one major critique - besides proofreading and watching for awkward wording - I would advise you to reexamine your characterization. To me, Ganon's intentions at the feast seemed all too clear, and I'd imagine that the King would have a poison taster - or something - to test these sorts of things. If Zelda could perceive his mal-intentions, why couldn't the older and wiser king? Of course, maybe that's in his character - maybe he's too trusting, or too short-sighted to see the bigger picture. However, if this is the case, you need to show your reader these aspects. However, maybe this is exactly how it happened in canon, in which case the fault isn't on you. Nonetheless, it's a pretty small critique.

Just a few small grammatical/formatting/whatever things:

/Those were the words that slew the heroes who rose to fight the Tyrant/

This could be grammatically correct, but it's a very awkward sentence. Is there a better way to word this?

/herdreams were ones that came true.../

Needs a space! =)

/her breathing becomming hard as she then reemembered what happened afterwards./

You have a few too many letters here!

/She bit her lip as she placed her hands together in a silent pray to the goddesses/

Prayer instead of pray, yes?

There were a few more typos and small mistakes, but I won't bore you wit a lecture!

Over all, I really enjoyed this piece. The concept was refreshing and original, and your descriptions really carried this piece. I don't actually remember how I got to your profile, but I'm glad I picked something to read. I assume this is a one-shot, but I'm going to add it to Story Alerts just in case you decide to do something else with it!

Great job!

12/17/2010 c1 10Blood-of-Silver
nice :)

9/9/2010 c1 2Harmonian Zutarian
Is Zelda a gandalf character?

6/1/2010 c1 6Serpenthyne
[...dwelling upon the aspecta of her dream that was not out the widow.]

Aspect, window.

[...she thoughtwas Link.]

Thought was...

[Only Fairy Tales had happy endings.]

Perhaps you meant 'fairy tales'? Dunno why it would be capitalized - looks like one of those random errors, at any rate.

Anyway, on to other things! As earlier mentioned there was one glaring run-on sentence that was more like a list. A quick read over it should've done the trick, but bah. Whatever.

From what I've gathered this is hot off the press and all that junk. Which I understand, many an author (including myself) puts out that kinda thing. While this isn't bad, per se, it has a nice seasoning of errors. The least that could be done with a rough draft is look for spelling and grammatical issues before sending it off. Spellcheck won't catch them all ('were' when you meant to put 'where', 'there' and 'here', etc...).

But all that aside, you seem to be a pretty decent writer. Keep up the work, unless you want to get rusty.

4/28/2010 c1 1DNAPD
Disclaimer: I do not sugar-coat.

Let's get right into it, shall we?

Technical elements first.

First off, there are typos. You said you wrote this in a few hours, so that's to be expected. Careful not to make it a habit though.

"Those were the words that slew the heroes who rose to fight the Tyrant; those were the words that burned villages"

Up to this point, I say this is a good use of sentence structure repetition.

"those were the words that changed her life forever"

Now it's too much.

"Now those words are less than any dream of hers"

I would stick to past tense for consistancy. I get why you used present tense, but it doesn't read well.

"She bowed her head in shame, sitting at the end of small wooden table, moving herself somewhat forward on her stool, as she leaned onto the table, her eyes closed tightly as images of the boy garbed in green attire flashed through her mind, and of the day she last saw him. "

Oh my Lord. That's a list of actions, not a sentence. Be careful that your prose doesn't degenerate to this in future. Not only is it a run-on sentence, but it makes for very bland descriptions. I could forgive it, if it was a one off thing, but it happens a few times throughout your writing.

"Ganon sat..." "Zelda sat..."

Jarring repetition. Mix it up a little.

"Their was an odd mix of anxiety"

You know what's wrong.

There is a vocabulary problem, in general I think. That's not to say that you have a poor vernacular, but more that it hasn't been well represented in this piece of writing. There are many instances of repeated lexicon: 'thought' being a prominant example. Synonymy is a very powerful linguistic tool to break monotony of descriptions.

My main problem is that half of this story is a description of the hall, or the chairs, or the food etc. and there's no real plot development. The core, I gathered, was that Link hasn't come to rescue Zelda, shattering her naive, fairy tale notions. Did I think this was well done? No I did not. I feel you spent too much time on minor, fairly irrelevent details, and not enough time was spent developing the concept. Attention to detail is excellent, but not when it detracts from the big picture.

Overall, it is well-written, and grammatical erros were few and far between. Your descriptions are detailed, but quite bland and trite, and as mentioned, the core concept was not well developed. The potential is there, you just have to keep improving.

DNAPD.