for Back to Wiz Tech9/6/2011 c3 USER-45758382
** total **, learn to use some **ing punctuation and describe the scene do this and the story would actually make more sense cuz you don't describe who's where you just say POV
Not sorry for the flame it was needed
** total **, learn to use some **ing punctuation and describe the scene do this and the story would actually make more sense cuz you don't describe who's where you just say POV
Not sorry for the flame it was needed
9/5/2011 c5 Fandom-maniac1667
I agree with someone who commented earlier with the whole get into detail but don't get me wrong i love the story.
I liked this chapter better than chapter 4 because ch.4 was a bit difficule to read without any " 's but I liked it none the less
I agree with someone who commented earlier with the whole get into detail but don't get me wrong i love the story.
I liked this chapter better than chapter 4 because ch.4 was a bit difficule to read without any " 's but I liked it none the less
10/5/2010 c1 
4Evident-Rust
I really like the concept you have going behind your story. I look forward to seeing where you take it. My advice is to go into more detail, drop the script style of writing and really flesh out your sentences. What you have now is driven by dialogue (which is good!) but you might benefit from giving us more sentence structure. Keep it up!
4Evident-RustI really like the concept you have going behind your story. I look forward to seeing where you take it. My advice is to go into more detail, drop the script style of writing and really flesh out your sentences. What you have now is driven by dialogue (which is good!) but you might benefit from giving us more sentence structure. Keep it up!