for Shmalo-kinda like Halo9/5/2011 c5 i c ur dibolicul planz
you are purposely trying to make this the shittiest story ever so that it is that much more of a parody. props to you for actually thinking through how to make this as ** and **ed up as possible. i kiss your feet cuz u make every other parody writer look like an amateur by making yourself look like one.
you are purposely trying to make this the shittiest story ever so that it is that much more of a parody. props to you for actually thinking through how to make this as ** and **ed up as possible. i kiss your feet cuz u make every other parody writer look like an amateur by making yourself look like one.
12/12/2010 c1 hatersgonnahate
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better story. No jk kinda funny ummmmmmmm why shmalo don't use halo as such a HUGE inspiration be ORIGANAl
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better story. No jk kinda funny ummmmmmmm why shmalo don't use halo as such a HUGE inspiration be ORIGANAl
3/10/2004 c1 Samual Porter
Halo is the best first person shooter
Halo is the best first person shooter
4/23/2003 c2 
18alphazodiac
I apoligise for my earlier flame, this should set things right,
first of all, when you do emotions, be less extreme (mad,sad,glad) and be more human, more toned down (a.k.a. the master chief cocked his head to the side, "what did you say?")
also, when thinking of a challenge for your characters, be extreme but not too extreme (instead of beating an entire army, finding themselves in a middle of a platoon maybe?)
once again make your characters human.
18alphazodiacI apoligise for my earlier flame, this should set things right,
first of all, when you do emotions, be less extreme (mad,sad,glad) and be more human, more toned down (a.k.a. the master chief cocked his head to the side, "what did you say?")
also, when thinking of a challenge for your characters, be extreme but not too extreme (instead of beating an entire army, finding themselves in a middle of a platoon maybe?)
once again make your characters human.
4/21/2003 c1 alphazodiac
dear sir,
this story has oviously brought down the 'average coolness quotent' of all the fanfics on this website into the negative numbers.
please, do the world a favor, never write again.
alphazodiac
dear sir,
this story has oviously brought down the 'average coolness quotent' of all the fanfics on this website into the negative numbers.
please, do the world a favor, never write again.
alphazodiac
2/13/2003 c1 Zero1
let me just say; what the hell is this crap? i've thrown up things that are better than this. its about as funny as sticking your face on a power sander.
btw, the story makes no sense whatsoever, i would advice never writing anything again.
let me just say; what the hell is this crap? i've thrown up things that are better than this. its about as funny as sticking your face on a power sander.
btw, the story makes no sense whatsoever, i would advice never writing anything again.
10/4/2002 c5 Guest
What the hell is this supposed to be?
i found it about as humerous as having my balls bashed between two bricks.
if i were you i'd give up on writing, for ever, snd carry on with whatever low paid job you have.
What the hell is this supposed to be?
i found it about as humerous as having my balls bashed between two bricks.
if i were you i'd give up on writing, for ever, snd carry on with whatever low paid job you have.
4/16/2002 c5 Angel123292
LMAO!
LMAO!
3/6/2002 c5 1LaserGuidedBunny
/me agrees with Silver. At first, I thought, "Well lets see what this idiot's brewing now," and chapter one made me lose brain cells. Then chapter two was funny, but the rest of the story caused my IQ to drop 2 or 3 points there. Stick with writing action and suspense stories for "the three little pigs" and comedies for Halo.
1LaserGuidedBunny/me agrees with Silver. At first, I thought, "Well lets see what this idiot's brewing now," and chapter one made me lose brain cells. Then chapter two was funny, but the rest of the story caused my IQ to drop 2 or 3 points there. Stick with writing action and suspense stories for "the three little pigs" and comedies for Halo.
3/6/2002 c5 Hyth
This confuses me.
This confuses me.
3/5/2002 c2 1silverx10
ROFL. It seems that my review was a bit premature, because it seems that you've got quite the comedy here in chapter two. ROFL. Man, that sounds so damn funny... A female soldier trying to be nice and getting shafted. Perhaps you should write more comedies (yeah, I know that this is supposed to be a suspense, but this is hella-funny!)... Keep it up with more stuff like in chapter two!
1silverx10ROFL. It seems that my review was a bit premature, because it seems that you've got quite the comedy here in chapter two. ROFL. Man, that sounds so damn funny... A female soldier trying to be nice and getting shafted. Perhaps you should write more comedies (yeah, I know that this is supposed to be a suspense, but this is hella-funny!)... Keep it up with more stuff like in chapter two!
3/5/2002 c1 silverx10
Ack. No offense, but this is almost as close to being a blatant rip off as you can possibly get... Shmalo? Hako? Covonants? Scorpio Tank? Ouch... It seems like what you did here was to purposefully mispell the real words from the actual game, and slap them into a story. All in all, I think that you need to put more efforts into your fan fics...
Ack. No offense, but this is almost as close to being a blatant rip off as you can possibly get... Shmalo? Hako? Covonants? Scorpio Tank? Ouch... It seems like what you did here was to purposefully mispell the real words from the actual game, and slap them into a story. All in all, I think that you need to put more efforts into your fan fics...