for Absolution2/14/2011 c2 
18Sage Pagan
Sorry it took me 500 years to read and review this one. I hadn't realized you'd updated it .
'...the oblong shield in 'sword', the curved hammock of a bed at the bottom of 'home', and the wall separating the two blocks in 'heart'.' - very nice. Could totally visualize this.
'It already feels like years and he's aged more than he's grown.' -I loved this line for some reason. It's so true.
'Remember the protection in your 'sword', the peace you find when you reach 'home' and the bridge you must pass to free your 'heart'. '-Nice connection to the calligraphy scene.
Wow. Yun-seong's death scene, as sad as it is, is probably my favorite part of this chapter.
Overall this was a beautiful, well-written, poetic chapter. My only issue is the storytelling is a bit vague. I often found myself rereading passages a couple times, because I was lost on what was happening. You show the story a lot, which is great, but not when readers don't know quite what's going on. Still, I enjoyed this a lot.
18Sage PaganSorry it took me 500 years to read and review this one. I hadn't realized you'd updated it .
'...the oblong shield in 'sword', the curved hammock of a bed at the bottom of 'home', and the wall separating the two blocks in 'heart'.' - very nice. Could totally visualize this.
'It already feels like years and he's aged more than he's grown.' -I loved this line for some reason. It's so true.
'Remember the protection in your 'sword', the peace you find when you reach 'home' and the bridge you must pass to free your 'heart'. '-Nice connection to the calligraphy scene.
Wow. Yun-seong's death scene, as sad as it is, is probably my favorite part of this chapter.
Overall this was a beautiful, well-written, poetic chapter. My only issue is the storytelling is a bit vague. I often found myself rereading passages a couple times, because I was lost on what was happening. You show the story a lot, which is great, but not when readers don't know quite what's going on. Still, I enjoyed this a lot.
11/4/2010 c1 Sage Pagan
I loved the clues you provided-"Mi-shi-ma"-in making this a crossover. I've read some pieces that make the crossover so awkward and unbelievable, which is a good way to kill a story, but you didn't overdo it at all.
The Japanese-Korean war backdrop has me excited. It opens up opportunities to utilize other Japanese characters and, of course, another red-haired Korean boy. It also allows for more angsty soul-searching from Seung Mina XD. Always a plus.
And I'm gonna be a nerd and say you even published this story on Mina's birthday. Nice.
I loved the clues you provided-"Mi-shi-ma"-in making this a crossover. I've read some pieces that make the crossover so awkward and unbelievable, which is a good way to kill a story, but you didn't overdo it at all.
The Japanese-Korean war backdrop has me excited. It opens up opportunities to utilize other Japanese characters and, of course, another red-haired Korean boy. It also allows for more angsty soul-searching from Seung Mina XD. Always a plus.
And I'm gonna be a nerd and say you even published this story on Mina's birthday. Nice.