for Power Rangers: Atomic Force9/26/2012 c15 
15Michelle the Editor
Clever use of the Time Walker's powers to show the past. And ouch, poor Fisher guys. Andrew and Haleigh are very cute together, and Gwen and Jack's (one-sided?) relationship makes for a fun contrast. I hadn't thought of Rangers using silencers, neat, or having the untested weapons not work on the first try.
I think the Rangers' defeat should be imminent, not eminent. Both Tyndall and Dr. Fisher losing it at the same time struck me a little off; it's been twenty years and it's not like they had to watch the replay of Mrs. Fisher's death.
Necessity seems to have worked for you: that was a great cliffhanger. Andrew's little prison break fits perfectly, though I never saw it coming. I look forward to finding out what Haleigh meant about not staying human (since that switch did puzzle me) and what the Abandoned Project is!
15Michelle the EditorClever use of the Time Walker's powers to show the past. And ouch, poor Fisher guys. Andrew and Haleigh are very cute together, and Gwen and Jack's (one-sided?) relationship makes for a fun contrast. I hadn't thought of Rangers using silencers, neat, or having the untested weapons not work on the first try.
I think the Rangers' defeat should be imminent, not eminent. Both Tyndall and Dr. Fisher losing it at the same time struck me a little off; it's been twenty years and it's not like they had to watch the replay of Mrs. Fisher's death.
Necessity seems to have worked for you: that was a great cliffhanger. Andrew's little prison break fits perfectly, though I never saw it coming. I look forward to finding out what Haleigh meant about not staying human (since that switch did puzzle me) and what the Abandoned Project is!
6/28/2012 c1 Guest
dude, ur good at this stuff
dude, ur good at this stuff
5/10/2012 c3 18Psycho Tangerine
I like your idea of using atomic structures as the basis of their powers.
18Psycho TangerineI like your idea of using atomic structures as the basis of their powers.
4/21/2012 c14 15Michelle the Editor
I love Seymour's wake-up call, and the Yankee Doodle joke.
Hooray, Haleigh's back (though the ease of the transformation itself makes me suspect there's a catch), and we have our Time Walker! I like your character choice, and his powers are cool.
A couple of mistakes scattered throughout (Master of Mischeif being the only really serious one).
Great job, looking forward to more!
15Michelle the EditorI love Seymour's wake-up call, and the Yankee Doodle joke.
Hooray, Haleigh's back (though the ease of the transformation itself makes me suspect there's a catch), and we have our Time Walker! I like your character choice, and his powers are cool.
A couple of mistakes scattered throughout (Master of Mischeif being the only really serious one).
Great job, looking forward to more!
4/10/2012 c1 13StoryTyper2
you should have a chapter where Andrew and Gwen get trapped and a Gel Shocker makes evil clones of them, then the monster is slowly draining their power.
13StoryTyper2you should have a chapter where Andrew and Gwen get trapped and a Gel Shocker makes evil clones of them, then the monster is slowly draining their power.
12/26/2011 c13 15Michelle the Editor
Awesome, the Time Walker at last! I love how his appearance answers some questions while raising others, it keeps the arc interesting! Jack's a cool guy, his joining the team makes sense, and all of the Ranger interactions are entertaining. (you watch MST3K too? Awesome!) I'm intrigued by Gwen's crush and how Jack will respond in the future.
Note: Gwen drew the "delinquet"'s jawline. You may want to limit your sentences to three, maybe four clauses, otherwise they get hard to follow. This mainly pops up in combat scenes or descriptions.
Thank you, glad to see you've beaten Writer's Block at least over here!
15Michelle the EditorAwesome, the Time Walker at last! I love how his appearance answers some questions while raising others, it keeps the arc interesting! Jack's a cool guy, his joining the team makes sense, and all of the Ranger interactions are entertaining. (you watch MST3K too? Awesome!) I'm intrigued by Gwen's crush and how Jack will respond in the future.
Note: Gwen drew the "delinquet"'s jawline. You may want to limit your sentences to three, maybe four clauses, otherwise they get hard to follow. This mainly pops up in combat scenes or descriptions.
Thank you, glad to see you've beaten Writer's Block at least over here!
11/12/2011 c12 Michelle the Editor
"Jungle Fury Syndrome," good name for it-though Mystic Force had the same problem! I loved the fighting quips self-referential humor, and the Vortex Gauntlet is a cool morpher.
Jack Steel is, so far, cool enough to fit his action-hero type name. I look forward to seeing more of him!
The very last bit came off a little rushed, though. And I was a little confused at the beginning, when Jack first appeared-though that's probably due to the time gap between this update and the last.
Michelle the Editor
"Jungle Fury Syndrome," good name for it-though Mystic Force had the same problem! I loved the fighting quips self-referential humor, and the Vortex Gauntlet is a cool morpher.
Jack Steel is, so far, cool enough to fit his action-hero type name. I look forward to seeing more of him!
The very last bit came off a little rushed, though. And I was a little confused at the beginning, when Jack first appeared-though that's probably due to the time gap between this update and the last.
Michelle the Editor
9/18/2011 c11 Michelle the Editor
Great chapter! Now I understand Gwen, thank you! The fight was good, and I am highly intrigued by the disappearance of the new project. Also, the Sentai sounds very entertaining! I may look at using that joke myself.
Great chapter! Now I understand Gwen, thank you! The fight was good, and I am highly intrigued by the disappearance of the new project. Also, the Sentai sounds very entertaining! I may look at using that joke myself.