for Subversive Intent12/21/2010 c2 
47ani
okay... they all come across as more than 7, but this is not nice, safe suburbia. like the use of the book to explain how Sasuke came up with his plan, snapped out of his grief. Kyuubi's chakra coming first makes a lot of sense with these twists, and i'm curious as to how everyone's gonna take it. ;D
47aniokay... they all come across as more than 7, but this is not nice, safe suburbia. like the use of the book to explain how Sasuke came up with his plan, snapped out of his grief. Kyuubi's chakra coming first makes a lot of sense with these twists, and i'm curious as to how everyone's gonna take it. ;D
12/21/2010 c2 Reader
Though I should have review on the first chapter. Hopefully this will make up for it. I like how you have all the characters different in their own unique way. Sakura is anti-social and wants limited human contact because her parents won't give any. Sasuke is normal and not an ass in the beginnig like in most stories. Though it is funny to read that sometimes. Hinata not timid but not stupid enough to think she can beat anyone. Naruto not trusting anyone, even the people who cares. I like that Naruto also a street fighter and competent one at that. The way you are setting up Hinata and Naruto to interact will be funny. Instead of just a random encounter, they will have a fight just to test their skills and enjoy their fight. I like how you're making this story interesting and different, keep up the good work.
Though I should have review on the first chapter. Hopefully this will make up for it. I like how you have all the characters different in their own unique way. Sakura is anti-social and wants limited human contact because her parents won't give any. Sasuke is normal and not an ass in the beginnig like in most stories. Though it is funny to read that sometimes. Hinata not timid but not stupid enough to think she can beat anyone. Naruto not trusting anyone, even the people who cares. I like that Naruto also a street fighter and competent one at that. The way you are setting up Hinata and Naruto to interact will be funny. Instead of just a random encounter, they will have a fight just to test their skills and enjoy their fight. I like how you're making this story interesting and different, keep up the good work.
12/21/2010 c2 Triple K
Actually this is the first time I've read anything from you and since I didn't see AU in the summary one can only assume it's not, correct?
I believe some of his childhood was covered in the manga as well as his treatment. Go read it again. As far as my comment about the crap most authors portray Naruto as. Like some mistreated pariah whose lucky to be alive after suffering years of torment. There's other ways to build his character up then following that same worn out path of idiocy and not having to follow canon to the T. Also when did I mention anything about the Wave or Chunin canon arcs? My main point was his early childhood.
Read it how you want, but we'll move on and stop kicking the dead horse. As that famous saying goes, "If you don't like, then don't read it." So I'll be taking my leave as your Naruto just doesn't do it for me and if he died in the next chapter I would probably clap. BTW, your still hit n' missing your capitalization throughout the chapter. Good luck though.
Actually this is the first time I've read anything from you and since I didn't see AU in the summary one can only assume it's not, correct?
I believe some of his childhood was covered in the manga as well as his treatment. Go read it again. As far as my comment about the crap most authors portray Naruto as. Like some mistreated pariah whose lucky to be alive after suffering years of torment. There's other ways to build his character up then following that same worn out path of idiocy and not having to follow canon to the T. Also when did I mention anything about the Wave or Chunin canon arcs? My main point was his early childhood.
Read it how you want, but we'll move on and stop kicking the dead horse. As that famous saying goes, "If you don't like, then don't read it." So I'll be taking my leave as your Naruto just doesn't do it for me and if he died in the next chapter I would probably clap. BTW, your still hit n' missing your capitalization throughout the chapter. Good luck though.
12/21/2010 c2 No- I'm not on facebook
I don't quiet get why Sasuke feels lied to above all. I mean, yeah he'd feel that, but shouldn't his feeling of anger and hate push the paranoia a little more to the background, and if his suspicion of lying is so strong, then wouldn't he try and get a few books on reading people and detecting lies. Other than this, I liked the chapter and the story so far, they both get a few extra points in originality. Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter.
I don't quiet get why Sasuke feels lied to above all. I mean, yeah he'd feel that, but shouldn't his feeling of anger and hate push the paranoia a little more to the background, and if his suspicion of lying is so strong, then wouldn't he try and get a few books on reading people and detecting lies. Other than this, I liked the chapter and the story so far, they both get a few extra points in originality. Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter.
11/27/2010 c1 kira-san
this story sounds like it is going to be really good. it was a great first chapter ^^
this story sounds like it is going to be really good. it was a great first chapter ^^
11/27/2010 c1 1Almores
Well..
This chapter seemed a bit rushed. I suggest getting a Beta to try and look through your story, as well as correct any spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, and basically make the story look better. Make it look more professional, you know? It has potential, you just gotta put on the finishing touches!
1AlmoresWell..
This chapter seemed a bit rushed. I suggest getting a Beta to try and look through your story, as well as correct any spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, and basically make the story look better. Make it look more professional, you know? It has potential, you just gotta put on the finishing touches!
11/26/2010 c1 LunarCatNinja
I wasn't sure about this story till I read the chapter, and I find it's a great story so far! Anyway, JA NE! ≡∩W∩≡
I wasn't sure about this story till I read the chapter, and I find it's a great story so far! Anyway, JA NE! ≡∩W∩≡
11/26/2010 c1 DarkRavie
I like your fic and look forward to reading what happens in your next chapter.
I like your fic and look forward to reading what happens in your next chapter.