for Touhou: X Dimension8/30/2012 c8 
7Sekishiki
Well, i found this story for accident but i still liked it. Because i really like stories when a GUY is brougth in Gensokyo.
But i think that all of Levin and stuff is somewhat too much, like the powers of Chris.
I read your fanfic of Fate/Extra and I really liked it. Then i think what would be like this story whit Chris having a more realistic power level but whit a special power (Like the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception)
but this is still a good story, only whit exaggerated power levels.
I hope see more Touhou fanfics from you
Ja ne!
7SekishikiWell, i found this story for accident but i still liked it. Because i really like stories when a GUY is brougth in Gensokyo.
But i think that all of Levin and stuff is somewhat too much, like the powers of Chris.
I read your fanfic of Fate/Extra and I really liked it. Then i think what would be like this story whit Chris having a more realistic power level but whit a special power (Like the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception)
but this is still a good story, only whit exaggerated power levels.
I hope see more Touhou fanfics from you
Ja ne!
9/29/2011 c8 The Kindly Hater
Wow, this was funny. I think that Chris is a rather unique character, with all of his different powers focusing on Ki. And Virus intrigues me, it would be cool to learn more about him, but that time will come eventually. You got my support, Go for it!
Wow, this was funny. I think that Chris is a rather unique character, with all of his different powers focusing on Ki. And Virus intrigues me, it would be cool to learn more about him, but that time will come eventually. You got my support, Go for it!
9/25/2011 c2 Seriously
I'll start with the main antagonist. This Levin dude, so he's the almighty King of Gods. Who for some reason, want to trash Gensokyo. But if he is so powerful as you described, why didn't start by wreaking havoc in our world? Where there's no powerful youkais or gods that can stop him. And if he is that powerful, why is nobody knows about his existence? He should be the main threat to humanity, or at least those last remaining Ki users are aware of this dude's existence.
Now the main dish. So Chris, goes to school, went to work, and he's one of the 10 remaining Ki users in the world. I'm sorry. Seriously? Think about it for a second, if you have powers like him, you wouldn't even bother going to school or working at a cafe. If you have a power like that, you'd either ended up as a criminal or you'd be playing vigilante. Since Chris is such a good boy, he'd probably ended up as a hero, like Spiderman or other crime fighting characters. But no... He decided to show off his powers to a random girl called Raine.
And wow, just because he felt an eerie wind blowing, so he decided to investigate. And conveniently, he found Levin doing his crime. So the battle between the self proclaimed King of Gods (who we've established that no one has ever heard of) and the Ki user (who we've established as an idiot) was inevitable, as if fate has drew them together (which we've established was the work of a blowing 'eerie wind').
The ranked 7th of the 10 remaining Ki user was able to fight a near even battle against The King of Gods, who apparently has a lot of gods in his arsenal. Seriously? I guess, somebody should just call the person who's ranked as number one among those Ki users, I'm sure he can kick this Levin's ** in two minutes.
The idea is good... Sorry, I lied. Any idea that involves a Gary Stu main character is a bad idea. But I'm impressed by your efforts, since you've written this bad idea to well over 100k words. So, thumbs up for your effort then.
I'll start with the main antagonist. This Levin dude, so he's the almighty King of Gods. Who for some reason, want to trash Gensokyo. But if he is so powerful as you described, why didn't start by wreaking havoc in our world? Where there's no powerful youkais or gods that can stop him. And if he is that powerful, why is nobody knows about his existence? He should be the main threat to humanity, or at least those last remaining Ki users are aware of this dude's existence.
Now the main dish. So Chris, goes to school, went to work, and he's one of the 10 remaining Ki users in the world. I'm sorry. Seriously? Think about it for a second, if you have powers like him, you wouldn't even bother going to school or working at a cafe. If you have a power like that, you'd either ended up as a criminal or you'd be playing vigilante. Since Chris is such a good boy, he'd probably ended up as a hero, like Spiderman or other crime fighting characters. But no... He decided to show off his powers to a random girl called Raine.
And wow, just because he felt an eerie wind blowing, so he decided to investigate. And conveniently, he found Levin doing his crime. So the battle between the self proclaimed King of Gods (who we've established that no one has ever heard of) and the Ki user (who we've established as an idiot) was inevitable, as if fate has drew them together (which we've established was the work of a blowing 'eerie wind').
The ranked 7th of the 10 remaining Ki user was able to fight a near even battle against The King of Gods, who apparently has a lot of gods in his arsenal. Seriously? I guess, somebody should just call the person who's ranked as number one among those Ki users, I'm sure he can kick this Levin's ** in two minutes.
The idea is good... Sorry, I lied. Any idea that involves a Gary Stu main character is a bad idea. But I'm impressed by your efforts, since you've written this bad idea to well over 100k words. So, thumbs up for your effort then.
9/15/2011 c1 DarkBahamutZero
I am not trying to be a hater dude and the Plot is not bad but wow this Chris guy makes this so awful.So noo he isnt a Gary Stu he just is "Noble, Selfless, and Protective to a fault and giving his heart-warming, carefree, and honest nature he wins many friends both from his world and the girls of Gensokyo" and a material arts master, very good in school, can use power full (out of 6 Billion people ) lets say overpowered Elemental Magic (and of coourse his abilities are limited O.o), everybody likes him, he speaks 2 Languages perfectly,has two ultra rare meteor swords and of course his parents and his sister are dead (noo cliche), etc etc etc, and then exactly he gets the chance too to go to Gensokyo? thats really realistic. So yeah make him much less Overpowered/Gary Stu and the fic MIGHT get good, i mean just make him a NORMAL guy without him being the most awesome human on earth.
I am not trying to be a hater dude and the Plot is not bad but wow this Chris guy makes this so awful.So noo he isnt a Gary Stu he just is "Noble, Selfless, and Protective to a fault and giving his heart-warming, carefree, and honest nature he wins many friends both from his world and the girls of Gensokyo" and a material arts master, very good in school, can use power full (out of 6 Billion people ) lets say overpowered Elemental Magic (and of coourse his abilities are limited O.o), everybody likes him, he speaks 2 Languages perfectly,has two ultra rare meteor swords and of course his parents and his sister are dead (noo cliche), etc etc etc, and then exactly he gets the chance too to go to Gensokyo? thats really realistic. So yeah make him much less Overpowered/Gary Stu and the fic MIGHT get good, i mean just make him a NORMAL guy without him being the most awesome human on earth.
7/12/2011 c1 3ShiningFingah
Hmmm... First chapter only so I'll only be reviewing the introductory things, yes? Okay, we have an OC and he's bishonen... You have to watch out, cause he's leaning dangerously close to Gary Stu, if you know what I'm saying. Scratch that, I'm pretty sure he is a Gary Stu so please fix that. Sorry if I come off as rude but it's constructive criticism so yeah.
As for the guys liking him too, honestly I'm a bit disturbed by it. Why? Well cause I'm a guy too so it's understandable. It's your fic though, so your rules I guess.
I'd also like to point out that using the past tense might be a better idea as opposed to what you're doing now.
Ex.
"The boy runs past him."
"The boy ran past him."
You might notice how much easier the latter one is on the ears. So I'd be very much delighted if you made the changes to the succeeding chapters.
That's all I can see at the moment so good luck and happy writing.
Echo of Death Nii-san.
3ShiningFingahHmmm... First chapter only so I'll only be reviewing the introductory things, yes? Okay, we have an OC and he's bishonen... You have to watch out, cause he's leaning dangerously close to Gary Stu, if you know what I'm saying. Scratch that, I'm pretty sure he is a Gary Stu so please fix that. Sorry if I come off as rude but it's constructive criticism so yeah.
As for the guys liking him too, honestly I'm a bit disturbed by it. Why? Well cause I'm a guy too so it's understandable. It's your fic though, so your rules I guess.
I'd also like to point out that using the past tense might be a better idea as opposed to what you're doing now.
Ex.
"The boy runs past him."
"The boy ran past him."
You might notice how much easier the latter one is on the ears. So I'd be very much delighted if you made the changes to the succeeding chapters.
That's all I can see at the moment so good luck and happy writing.
Echo of Death Nii-san.
5/21/2011 c8 lazylegionspark
I am just loving this fanfiction. Development is great, I like Chris. All the other characters act believable. Levin is good villian. I love them ECHOES, such nice mooks. I am extremely impressed by them. You did a great job in creating them.
Looking forward to more.
P.S. Read it all in one day.
I am just loving this fanfiction. Development is great, I like Chris. All the other characters act believable. Levin is good villian. I love them ECHOES, such nice mooks. I am extremely impressed by them. You did a great job in creating them.
Looking forward to more.
P.S. Read it all in one day.
4/21/2011 c8 11bluewolf963
That was good for a laugh. If I were Chris, I would have been blasted for sure. He certainly does hold to his values. Taking a half hour to get into the bath just because of what might pop into it is a trip for sure. Cute, short, and funny, good luck with the next chapter
11bluewolf963That was good for a laugh. If I were Chris, I would have been blasted for sure. He certainly does hold to his values. Taking a half hour to get into the bath just because of what might pop into it is a trip for sure. Cute, short, and funny, good luck with the next chapter
4/19/2011 c8 Dawn'sLuvr
Ahahahaha! Poor Chris, he must've lost some IQ points from banging the wall so many times. And freaking Virus for teasing him more. Also... the fantasy heaven reference reminded me of human of the other side.
Ahahahaha! Poor Chris, he must've lost some IQ points from banging the wall so many times. And freaking Virus for teasing him more. Also... the fantasy heaven reference reminded me of human of the other side.
4/19/2011 c8 Dawn'sLuvr
Ahahahaha! Poor Chris, he must've lost some IQ points from banging the wall so many times. And freaking Virus for teasing him more. Also... the fantasy heaven reference reminded me of human of the other side.
Ahahahaha! Poor Chris, he must've lost some IQ points from banging the wall so many times. And freaking Virus for teasing him more. Also... the fantasy heaven reference reminded me of human of the other side.
4/19/2011 c8 11PeachDaisyAmy777
It doesn't really matter if you go off character a little bit, this is a fanfic after all, and more entertainment for the viewers.
Anyways, a nice stress relief chapter from all that fighting. Reimu sure had a great time teasing Chris.
And... Fantasy Heaven if he actually went in. It reminded me of another story that had a pretty similar thing happen, only she did actually use it and it was only in a dream! XD Until next chapter!
11PeachDaisyAmy777It doesn't really matter if you go off character a little bit, this is a fanfic after all, and more entertainment for the viewers.
Anyways, a nice stress relief chapter from all that fighting. Reimu sure had a great time teasing Chris.
And... Fantasy Heaven if he actually went in. It reminded me of another story that had a pretty similar thing happen, only she did actually use it and it was only in a dream! XD Until next chapter!
4/18/2011 c7 ShunIzayoi
This chapter is getting more interesting. Im glad to learn more about Chris and the Echos. Outstanding story so far. I really enjoy the fight, even the fun parts in it. Im looking forward to the next chapter.
This chapter is getting more interesting. Im glad to learn more about Chris and the Echos. Outstanding story so far. I really enjoy the fight, even the fun parts in it. Im looking forward to the next chapter.
4/18/2011 c7 11bluewolf963
Huh, that was interesting. I kinda figured where you derived the super form from. Giving it limits does help to balance things out, though. It would be unreasonable to have this super human appear that can beat anyone in Gensokyo. Would be fun to see how he would do against one who has a lot of physical strength, like the Oni. Chris is something of a punching bag in this chapter. He by far takes the worst beating out of everyone present in the fight. Nice joke moment whit his hair changing color after taking Eirin's pill, though I was expecting to get a comment about a comparison to Sanae. Good work on the chapter, good luck with the next
11bluewolf963Huh, that was interesting. I kinda figured where you derived the super form from. Giving it limits does help to balance things out, though. It would be unreasonable to have this super human appear that can beat anyone in Gensokyo. Would be fun to see how he would do against one who has a lot of physical strength, like the Oni. Chris is something of a punching bag in this chapter. He by far takes the worst beating out of everyone present in the fight. Nice joke moment whit his hair changing color after taking Eirin's pill, though I was expecting to get a comment about a comparison to Sanae. Good work on the chapter, good luck with the next
4/18/2011 c7 11PeachDaisyAmy777
Another very awesome and long chapter from you!
And that entire battle was only against a mid-level ECHO! Seriously... I wonder how would they possibly fight against a high-level ECHO in the future! That's something to look forward to.
Chris got his stamina boost like he wanted. And he sure surprized the girls many times with his mulitple abilities and attacks. And he will only get better in time.
I do wonder what plans Levin has in store. I sense an all-out Gensokyo war against the ECHOES someday. It will be the battle to end all battles, I'm sure.
And finally, Reimu's starting to become attached to Chris. I'm looking forward to more romance brewing. Until next chapter!
11PeachDaisyAmy777Another very awesome and long chapter from you!
And that entire battle was only against a mid-level ECHO! Seriously... I wonder how would they possibly fight against a high-level ECHO in the future! That's something to look forward to.
Chris got his stamina boost like he wanted. And he sure surprized the girls many times with his mulitple abilities and attacks. And he will only get better in time.
I do wonder what plans Levin has in store. I sense an all-out Gensokyo war against the ECHOES someday. It will be the battle to end all battles, I'm sure.
And finally, Reimu's starting to become attached to Chris. I'm looking forward to more romance brewing. Until next chapter!