for Dread Carefully4/30 c4 bunnylali
Ooh an update! Yaaay I'm so happy thank you, haha!
Great chapter, everything was so detailed. I'm impressed. You write beautifully. Can't wait to see more. ]
Ooh an update! Yaaay I'm so happy thank you, haha!
Great chapter, everything was so detailed. I'm impressed. You write beautifully. Can't wait to see more. ]
12/20/2012 c3 Aramountain
Oh I love this, truly I do. I always had a weakness for character study and Im loving the direction you're taking. Here's hoping you wont give up on this and continue to update.
Oh I love this, truly I do. I always had a weakness for character study and Im loving the direction you're taking. Here's hoping you wont give up on this and continue to update.
12/20/2012 c3 anon
Hello, I just needed to say that this story holds so much promise. The flow is wonderful and I like the balance of your descriptions - not too verbose and not too beige prose. Its a nice surprise to find your fic, I'm all but given up on finding good fanfiction with this pairing.
Please continue writing, I would love to see where you take this whole premise
Hello, I just needed to say that this story holds so much promise. The flow is wonderful and I like the balance of your descriptions - not too verbose and not too beige prose. Its a nice surprise to find your fic, I'm all but given up on finding good fanfiction with this pairing.
Please continue writing, I would love to see where you take this whole premise
1/7/2012 c1 
17KairiMcEwin
Dude dude dude! I love this! Please write more, the suspense is killing me! Is the doc Walter? Omahgod...
17KairiMcEwinDude dude dude! I love this! Please write more, the suspense is killing me! Is the doc Walter? Omahgod...
8/2/2011 c1 grimmy lover
That was very good awesome job :D
That was very good awesome job :D
4/30/2011 c1 13CyndarDragon
Hey, this is pretty interesting :) Poor Henry's at a therapist's office :O
13CyndarDragonHey, this is pretty interesting :) Poor Henry's at a therapist's office :O
3/20/2011 c1 6Icy Frost
Howdy,
Just wanted to start out by saying this is a great start to what seems to be just from the summary a very interesting story. As a reviewer before me pointed out, you do have some spelling and grammatical errors that were probably easily overlooked or that you were simply unaware of if you were using a different word processor without the autocorrect (Thank baby Jesus for Word). This chapter, while short, did give off a sort of prologue-esque feel that leaves me wanting to take in what you have to dish out to us.
Oh, and as a little side note, I know how it feels to dawdle on reviews. But the best piece of advice I can give to you is to forget about them! I can almost guarantee you that, with a fandom as popular as Silent Hill and a good, gripping story which you will provide (you will, won't you? ;]), they WILL come. Just write and update as often as you deem necessary and keep a positive head.
Anyway, I've gone on long enough, hah. Good luck and happy writing!
-Icy
6Icy FrostHowdy,
Just wanted to start out by saying this is a great start to what seems to be just from the summary a very interesting story. As a reviewer before me pointed out, you do have some spelling and grammatical errors that were probably easily overlooked or that you were simply unaware of if you were using a different word processor without the autocorrect (Thank baby Jesus for Word). This chapter, while short, did give off a sort of prologue-esque feel that leaves me wanting to take in what you have to dish out to us.
Oh, and as a little side note, I know how it feels to dawdle on reviews. But the best piece of advice I can give to you is to forget about them! I can almost guarantee you that, with a fandom as popular as Silent Hill and a good, gripping story which you will provide (you will, won't you? ;]), they WILL come. Just write and update as often as you deem necessary and keep a positive head.
Anyway, I've gone on long enough, hah. Good luck and happy writing!
-Icy
2/4/2011 c1 5Mupyeong
Okay, so I read it again. I was really thinking about what to actually write here except for 'Interesting, go on'.
So I'm going to start with grammar, writing and stuff. You misspelled 'yesterday' in the first sentence the psychologist says. Somewhere around the middle you wrote 'medician' instead of 'medicine' or 'medication'. A little farther 'the invasion of my personal space' would be correct as far as I know. That's what I found when I overlooked the text. It's nothing that disturbs the reading flow too much so don't worry about it too much.
About the way you write... It's very fluently, it's easy to read and you give the reader a good chance to get a grip on the characters and thus the story. Except sometimes you could have written a lot more, described Henry's thoughts, the surroundings or how he feels about it, especially a few more adjecives about how he feels towards his psychologist looking like Walter Sullivan.(cept for the glasses which I find very cute and suitable) By using more words you could have stretched the chapter and given the reader a better picture about the situation. What kind of place is this? How long has he been going there? Why did he CHOOSE to go there in the first place? (Though I guess that it will be explained in the following chapter as it keeps the reader going not to tell that in the first chapter)
The chapter itself... It is a pretty good chapter when considering the outlining. You start with a catchy part that makes the reader wonder what has happened and read on and you lead him through the momentum and in the end you make it some kind of a 'real start' or 'cliff hanger'. Thus it looks like a preview and as a preview it works pretty good. It is short (though it could be a few words longer), it is vivid and it ends really good. It's a classical tactic to end it with an 'It all started...' but it is as classical as effective and good. I also think it is really good that you wrote it through the first person perspective. I always love it when I can get a better view into the insides and thoughts of Henry. And try to stay in character, sometimes it is heard and I don't know how it will go on but I hope for the best. I know you will manage to make this a really good and 'Silent Hill Standard realistic' story3
Hope I managed to get you a little motivated here and see you soon with a new chapter.
Have a nice day!
5MupyeongOkay, so I read it again. I was really thinking about what to actually write here except for 'Interesting, go on'.
So I'm going to start with grammar, writing and stuff. You misspelled 'yesterday' in the first sentence the psychologist says. Somewhere around the middle you wrote 'medician' instead of 'medicine' or 'medication'. A little farther 'the invasion of my personal space' would be correct as far as I know. That's what I found when I overlooked the text. It's nothing that disturbs the reading flow too much so don't worry about it too much.
About the way you write... It's very fluently, it's easy to read and you give the reader a good chance to get a grip on the characters and thus the story. Except sometimes you could have written a lot more, described Henry's thoughts, the surroundings or how he feels about it, especially a few more adjecives about how he feels towards his psychologist looking like Walter Sullivan.(cept for the glasses which I find very cute and suitable) By using more words you could have stretched the chapter and given the reader a better picture about the situation. What kind of place is this? How long has he been going there? Why did he CHOOSE to go there in the first place? (Though I guess that it will be explained in the following chapter as it keeps the reader going not to tell that in the first chapter)
The chapter itself... It is a pretty good chapter when considering the outlining. You start with a catchy part that makes the reader wonder what has happened and read on and you lead him through the momentum and in the end you make it some kind of a 'real start' or 'cliff hanger'. Thus it looks like a preview and as a preview it works pretty good. It is short (though it could be a few words longer), it is vivid and it ends really good. It's a classical tactic to end it with an 'It all started...' but it is as classical as effective and good. I also think it is really good that you wrote it through the first person perspective. I always love it when I can get a better view into the insides and thoughts of Henry. And try to stay in character, sometimes it is heard and I don't know how it will go on but I hope for the best. I know you will manage to make this a really good and 'Silent Hill Standard realistic' story3
Hope I managed to get you a little motivated here and see you soon with a new chapter.
Have a nice day!