for Worth Fighting For6/18/2011 c1 
21echoing noise
This was published two days before my birthday! (Excuse my self-absorbed nature, but I thought that was interesting enough to put in. Moving on!)
... I'm not quite sure what to say. Perhaps "awww!" would work, but that doesn't seem quite suffiecient. I loved how you began with Alice's point of view and continued it entirely with Frank's - not only because I think romances are better when it's not told all icky-like by a girl (heheh, I'm so mature, aren't I?), but also it gave us a view of the ffect their lives together had on both of them. Sure, we see Frank's thoughts, but only at the end did I remember Alice's - it gave it a sense of unity.
Besides that, the beginning bit is absolutly fabulous, so I really did enjoy it. I mean, every line. Perfect. And after that, too - when you started with "the first time he saw her..." I thought you'd go with a love-at-first-sight thing, and was a bit disheartened, but you were lovely and didn't torture me like that. It was realistically meaningful, in the way that all first meetings are; romantacized by his feeling and his wanting it to be important - special - but not in a way that is beyond the normal person's tendancy to embellish their memory or that is anything under than subtle - I wonder if that was even your intention? I assume it was, at least in some small way, because of the last line, but I spose this could have been a result of a habit that I think a lot of writers pick up; the whole ending with a one-liner. But I don't mean to insult - it did feel purposeful, certainly, and not cliche - this is just me musing. And overusing my M-dash privleges as well, apparantly. I really should stop this.
Alright, I think I'll be good for the rest of the review, because I'm closing, anyhow. I really did like this, and not just because of my soft spot for Alice. You spun the story gently, keeping it just the right length, and lead us up a very slight slope to the climax of their relationship without losing our attention or being too dramatic about it. A very nice balance, both in POVs and tone, so good on you for that. Nice job, keep writing.
-Paige
21echoing noiseThis was published two days before my birthday! (Excuse my self-absorbed nature, but I thought that was interesting enough to put in. Moving on!)
... I'm not quite sure what to say. Perhaps "awww!" would work, but that doesn't seem quite suffiecient. I loved how you began with Alice's point of view and continued it entirely with Frank's - not only because I think romances are better when it's not told all icky-like by a girl (heheh, I'm so mature, aren't I?), but also it gave us a view of the ffect their lives together had on both of them. Sure, we see Frank's thoughts, but only at the end did I remember Alice's - it gave it a sense of unity.
Besides that, the beginning bit is absolutly fabulous, so I really did enjoy it. I mean, every line. Perfect. And after that, too - when you started with "the first time he saw her..." I thought you'd go with a love-at-first-sight thing, and was a bit disheartened, but you were lovely and didn't torture me like that. It was realistically meaningful, in the way that all first meetings are; romantacized by his feeling and his wanting it to be important - special - but not in a way that is beyond the normal person's tendancy to embellish their memory or that is anything under than subtle - I wonder if that was even your intention? I assume it was, at least in some small way, because of the last line, but I spose this could have been a result of a habit that I think a lot of writers pick up; the whole ending with a one-liner. But I don't mean to insult - it did feel purposeful, certainly, and not cliche - this is just me musing. And overusing my M-dash privleges as well, apparantly. I really should stop this.
Alright, I think I'll be good for the rest of the review, because I'm closing, anyhow. I really did like this, and not just because of my soft spot for Alice. You spun the story gently, keeping it just the right length, and lead us up a very slight slope to the climax of their relationship without losing our attention or being too dramatic about it. A very nice balance, both in POVs and tone, so good on you for that. Nice job, keep writing.
-Paige
6/13/2011 c1 4DorestadGirl
Oh no! I've only just realized this is only chapter one and you haven't continued writing yet! (Though it does explain why the end felt kind of odd and sudden :P ) I can't wait for you to continue writing, this was so sweet and lovely, with just the right amount of sadness in the beginning.
I absolutely love how you started if off with the Droobles wrappers. To me, one of the most heartbreaking scenes in OoP is when she gives Neville the wrapper(And his grandmother tells him to throw it away since he must already have enough of them to paper his wall with), it nearly always manages to reduce me to tears. It's such a powerful moment and uncovers so much about Neville's relationship to his mother. And I love how you have linked the Droobles to an even bigger story, how you've given it a bigger background and made her gesture in stMungo's even more powerful and heart wrenching.
Franks is a great character, he's tall,sweet and really likeable. Alice is just a slightly frightened first year in the beginning and we see her grow into a beautiful young woman who is quite capable of taking care of herself.
You've let their relationship grow very natural and believable.
On one hand I like the marauders in this fic (unbelievable that even Wormtail managed to get a date! And the everlasting struggle between James and Lilly is fun to read as well) but in the second half of this chapter I felt like they were kind of stealing Frank and Alice's spotlight. Which is a shame since they are so sweet together!
My favourite:
["Thanks," she replied, her voice like lemon meringue (He didn't know why he thought that, but he just did. She also smelled like his mother's cherry pie).] Don't know why it's my favourite, it just is. And I like cherry pie too ^^
All in all, I really loved this sweet story and I cant wait until chapter 2! Please don´t keep me waiting for too long..
4DorestadGirlOh no! I've only just realized this is only chapter one and you haven't continued writing yet! (Though it does explain why the end felt kind of odd and sudden :P ) I can't wait for you to continue writing, this was so sweet and lovely, with just the right amount of sadness in the beginning.
I absolutely love how you started if off with the Droobles wrappers. To me, one of the most heartbreaking scenes in OoP is when she gives Neville the wrapper(And his grandmother tells him to throw it away since he must already have enough of them to paper his wall with), it nearly always manages to reduce me to tears. It's such a powerful moment and uncovers so much about Neville's relationship to his mother. And I love how you have linked the Droobles to an even bigger story, how you've given it a bigger background and made her gesture in stMungo's even more powerful and heart wrenching.
Franks is a great character, he's tall,sweet and really likeable. Alice is just a slightly frightened first year in the beginning and we see her grow into a beautiful young woman who is quite capable of taking care of herself.
You've let their relationship grow very natural and believable.
On one hand I like the marauders in this fic (unbelievable that even Wormtail managed to get a date! And the everlasting struggle between James and Lilly is fun to read as well) but in the second half of this chapter I felt like they were kind of stealing Frank and Alice's spotlight. Which is a shame since they are so sweet together!
My favourite:
["Thanks," she replied, her voice like lemon meringue (He didn't know why he thought that, but he just did. She also smelled like his mother's cherry pie).] Don't know why it's my favourite, it just is. And I like cherry pie too ^^
All in all, I really loved this sweet story and I cant wait until chapter 2! Please don´t keep me waiting for too long..
4/30/2011 c1 Liner
I LOVED it! Thanks for writing it!
I LOVED it! Thanks for writing it!
3/29/2011 c1 32books4evah
I love the idea for this story-Alice and Frank's story instead of Lily and James. I'd love to see their relationship in more depth-the scenes in between what you gave us. Interesting start!
32books4evahI love the idea for this story-Alice and Frank's story instead of Lily and James. I'd love to see their relationship in more depth-the scenes in between what you gave us. Interesting start!