for Trauma Team: Lost Identity5/20/2012 c7 
5Cheerfulbunny
Er...Well. Many things to say.
First, WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER? THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE A NEXT CHAPTER!
Second, finally, a interesting CRS01xTomoe.
Third, where are Tomoe's ninja skills?
Fourthly, Tomoe has NEVER called CRS01 "CRS01" So yeah.
Fifthly, why is Naomi so mean to Alyssa?
5CheerfulbunnyEr...Well. Many things to say.
First, WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER? THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE A NEXT CHAPTER!
Second, finally, a interesting CRS01xTomoe.
Third, where are Tomoe's ninja skills?
Fourthly, Tomoe has NEVER called CRS01 "CRS01" So yeah.
Fifthly, why is Naomi so mean to Alyssa?
8/7/2011 c1 3Karuske Yamida
Hajememashite Shao Ying chan! Ur works are simply SO awesome! much better than mine if u ask me... If u read my story, you'll find it extremely boring. However, if u compare my first story with my second one, it's much much better. Oh, and, may I introduce you to my friend TanyaLuvsRikuo. Her works are AWESOME! You MUST read it! It is 1000x better than my stories!
3Karuske YamidaHajememashite Shao Ying chan! Ur works are simply SO awesome! much better than mine if u ask me... If u read my story, you'll find it extremely boring. However, if u compare my first story with my second one, it's much much better. Oh, and, may I introduce you to my friend TanyaLuvsRikuo. Her works are AWESOME! You MUST read it! It is 1000x better than my stories!
5/30/2011 c6 18PXLight
OMG what a dramatic chapter this is! I LOVE it~ great job! =D Longest chapter? Congrats ^^
~PXLight~
18PXLightOMG what a dramatic chapter this is! I LOVE it~ great job! =D Longest chapter? Congrats ^^
~PXLight~
5/22/2011 c5 11Sirenis Angelica
Aww.. it was so fluffy! especially the kissing part between CR and Tomoe. (I actually haven't played this game but I somehow like this pairing...) Nice story! Keep updating! XD
btw, the chapter 2 of my story has been published. if you want, you can take a look :)
11Sirenis AngelicaAww.. it was so fluffy! especially the kissing part between CR and Tomoe. (I actually haven't played this game but I somehow like this pairing...) Nice story! Keep updating! XD
btw, the chapter 2 of my story has been published. if you want, you can take a look :)
5/20/2011 c5 18PXLight
Psh, if you call any of your chapters crappy one more time, I'll just leave and then shoot my head off~ THIS WAS AWESOME =D Dude, you don't even understand how mind blown I am after reading this; I love me a good CRxTomoe moment (then there's gonna be this one kid who'll be liek 'ewww CRxTomoe and we can be both like 'oh screw off!')
Man, you update quickly~!
Whatev's can't wait for the next chappy! =D
~PXLight~
18PXLightPsh, if you call any of your chapters crappy one more time, I'll just leave and then shoot my head off~ THIS WAS AWESOME =D Dude, you don't even understand how mind blown I am after reading this; I love me a good CRxTomoe moment (then there's gonna be this one kid who'll be liek 'ewww CRxTomoe and we can be both like 'oh screw off!')
Man, you update quickly~!
Whatev's can't wait for the next chappy! =D
~PXLight~
5/19/2011 c4 PXLight
Hey, great job! I can see that you're greatly improving! =D Don't say it's crappy; I think you did fine. =)
~PXLight~
Hey, great job! I can see that you're greatly improving! =D Don't say it's crappy; I think you did fine. =)
~PXLight~
5/18/2011 c3 PXLight
I can see an abundant amount of opportunities to add detail to this chapter. A good way to do so would be to describe the surroundings, the mood/atmosphere of the scenario, and any actions that take place as the characters are speaking.
For example:
"I will…" Tomoe turned crimson red. CR-S01 chuckled, smiled and left.
"Did he just… smile at me…?"
to:
"I will..." Tomoe's cheeks turned crimson red. She was slightly embarassed at the idea of revealing her flusterred face to the one man that she could potentially be in- She turned away awkwardly, facing the window and looking out as an excuse to hide her sweet blush. The sunlight making its way through said window was bright and caused her to squint. The happy scenery brightened her face up and helped her lose the tinge of pink scattered along her face, returning it to its normal colour. All she could do now is that she turned at the right time and CR-S01 hadn't seen the one look that could have her true feelings for him revealed at any moment.
However, CR had already spotted it and chuckled to himself, seeing right through Tomoe's futile plan. "She's just adorable..." he thought to himself with a smirk. He got up off the chair he was sitting on and placed it to the side against the wall, causing Tomoe to quickly turn back at him after realizing the sound meant that he was leaving now. Part of her longed for the will to have him stay just a bit longer; she enjoyed his presence with her. But...
The red-eyed surgeon flashed a quick smile before turning and walking out the door.
In return, Tomoe subconsciously smiled back.
She sat up on her recovery bed, listening to the sweet sounds of the outside as she opened the window and allowed for the gentle breeze to occupy the room and keep her company. She could only think of the sweet look the doctor had given her before his departure. "...Just what could it mean...?" she thought to herself slowly. She closed her eyes and tried to come up with an answer before reluctantly slumping down onto the pillows in defeat.
That's when the truth dawned upon her.
"Did he just... smile at me...?"
...
Ta-dah! ^^" Sweet improv~ A little goal for you is to try and make 2 000 word chapters (it's still considered as 'short' but you'll realize that it is actually quite easy to get up to such a number... and it will look a lot more like an official chapter) If you have MS Word, the word count at the bottom should assist you with this. Then again, because you are still a beginner, perhaps you can just try and make 1 000 word chappys; we all have to start from somewhere, right?
Still awaiting your next chapter with baited breath!
~PXLight~
I can see an abundant amount of opportunities to add detail to this chapter. A good way to do so would be to describe the surroundings, the mood/atmosphere of the scenario, and any actions that take place as the characters are speaking.
For example:
"I will…" Tomoe turned crimson red. CR-S01 chuckled, smiled and left.
"Did he just… smile at me…?"
to:
"I will..." Tomoe's cheeks turned crimson red. She was slightly embarassed at the idea of revealing her flusterred face to the one man that she could potentially be in- She turned away awkwardly, facing the window and looking out as an excuse to hide her sweet blush. The sunlight making its way through said window was bright and caused her to squint. The happy scenery brightened her face up and helped her lose the tinge of pink scattered along her face, returning it to its normal colour. All she could do now is that she turned at the right time and CR-S01 hadn't seen the one look that could have her true feelings for him revealed at any moment.
However, CR had already spotted it and chuckled to himself, seeing right through Tomoe's futile plan. "She's just adorable..." he thought to himself with a smirk. He got up off the chair he was sitting on and placed it to the side against the wall, causing Tomoe to quickly turn back at him after realizing the sound meant that he was leaving now. Part of her longed for the will to have him stay just a bit longer; she enjoyed his presence with her. But...
The red-eyed surgeon flashed a quick smile before turning and walking out the door.
In return, Tomoe subconsciously smiled back.
She sat up on her recovery bed, listening to the sweet sounds of the outside as she opened the window and allowed for the gentle breeze to occupy the room and keep her company. She could only think of the sweet look the doctor had given her before his departure. "...Just what could it mean...?" she thought to herself slowly. She closed her eyes and tried to come up with an answer before reluctantly slumping down onto the pillows in defeat.
That's when the truth dawned upon her.
"Did he just... smile at me...?"
...
Ta-dah! ^^" Sweet improv~ A little goal for you is to try and make 2 000 word chapters (it's still considered as 'short' but you'll realize that it is actually quite easy to get up to such a number... and it will look a lot more like an official chapter) If you have MS Word, the word count at the bottom should assist you with this. Then again, because you are still a beginner, perhaps you can just try and make 1 000 word chappys; we all have to start from somewhere, right?
Still awaiting your next chapter with baited breath!
~PXLight~
5/13/2011 c1 2animemusicnut
Lols,awesome as usual shao ying ^_^ awesome fic,I bow to u girl(btw,i changed from Insert.Honey to this name ok)
2animemusicnutLols,awesome as usual shao ying ^_^ awesome fic,I bow to u girl(btw,i changed from Insert.Honey to this name ok)
5/11/2011 c2 1fantasyreader123
That was great!
No offense...but *gags* CR/Tomoe?
It was great writing, though!
1fantasyreader123That was great!
No offense...but *gags* CR/Tomoe?
It was great writing, though!
4/4/2011 c2 18PXLight
AWWWWWWWWWWWW~! 3 That was adorable. Not very clear, but I can see the intent. ^^ Can't wait for your next update then!
~PXLight~
18PXLightAWWWWWWWWWWWW~! 3 That was adorable. Not very clear, but I can see the intent. ^^ Can't wait for your next update then!
~PXLight~
4/2/2011 c1 PXLight
Oh hey, I remember you from dA! It's wingz =P Nice job! I found it incredibly funny; especially with the severe dosage of EPIC OOC-ness =P Though next chappy, I expect a bit more detail. If you want a basis, a worthwhile update is about 2 000 words on MS Word ;D
Can't wait to see more from you then!
And congrats on your first fic here! We're glad to have another TT writer come around! ^^
~PXLight~
Oh hey, I remember you from dA! It's wingz =P Nice job! I found it incredibly funny; especially with the severe dosage of EPIC OOC-ness =P Though next chappy, I expect a bit more detail. If you want a basis, a worthwhile update is about 2 000 words on MS Word ;D
Can't wait to see more from you then!
And congrats on your first fic here! We're glad to have another TT writer come around! ^^
~PXLight~
4/2/2011 c1 8Surgical Rose
I think that you have an incredible storyline and case of mystery going on here, the only thing is that it's lacking in a bit of detail here and there, but all in all it is very interesting and there's no grammatical errors that I can spot either.
You did very well! I look forward to reading the next chapter :D
8Surgical RoseI think that you have an incredible storyline and case of mystery going on here, the only thing is that it's lacking in a bit of detail here and there, but all in all it is very interesting and there's no grammatical errors that I can spot either.
You did very well! I look forward to reading the next chapter :D