11/1/2011 c1 11USAFChief
"Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is." Very insightful of you, and quite true.

The way you shift from present tense to past tense sometimes confuses me. You may have meant to do that in order to make a point, but usually (at least for me) it better to stick to past tense when telling this sort of tale. In my opinion, anyway.

I think you've got Ziva pretty well described throughout. However, I think that crumbling foundation you describe could be reconstructed very quickly if the need arises. Personally, I prefer the kick-ass Ziva to the softer model we see now. I want to see her with bloody knuckles and feet after a tough workout in the gym. I want to see her shoot and kill two people at the same time and walk away without blinking an eye. I want Tony and McGee to be a little afraid of what she might do if they anger her too much. But here, she's yours and you write her the way you want her...I'll live with it.

Thanks for posting.

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4/10/2011 c1 280Alidiabin
Wow, that was great. I liked the bit about her washing off her make-up.

I didn't notice any serious mistakes, except when you wrote 'Off into' I think you meant often.

Well done.