for Lesson Learned2/21 c1 Elizabeth
Great story! I would love to hear more.
Great story! I would love to hear more.
5/31/2012 c1 S
Keep going damn it! I really enjoyed the story and it makes me laugh (I read the whole thing with a huge smile on my face).
Need. More. Now. !
Keep going damn it! I really enjoyed the story and it makes me laugh (I read the whole thing with a huge smile on my face).
Need. More. Now. !
5/2/2012 c1 
85remuslives
love the shared smiles.
"Payson, do you want to come with us?" lol, he's such a dope.
"Help from who?" lmao, new that was coming with the narrowing of his eyes.
lol, "Cedar" that must have seemed rather random to him.
"Cat noises?" haha! i loved that part.
Whoo! Great job!
85remusliveslove the shared smiles.
"Payson, do you want to come with us?" lol, he's such a dope.
"Help from who?" lmao, new that was coming with the narrowing of his eyes.
lol, "Cedar" that must have seemed rather random to him.
"Cat noises?" haha! i loved that part.
Whoo! Great job!
5/6/2011 c1 2AngelWings8
I forgot how much I really liked this one until I just reread it now.
One thing, though-I noticed that in the first fifth or so of the document, you include far more commas-and less periods, probably as a result?-than I've seen before in your work.
I know I struggle with run-on sentences, and I'm not sure if you've made a stylistic choice here-in which case, good for you cuz it totally works regardless or because of or whatever the commas-but if not, just, y'know, keep an eye out.
I love the gymnastics-related details, though, although I can't totally follow them...particularly things like moving the springboard then bouncing on it, or stretching after one has been standing around a while to re-warm up one's muscles.
I'm not feeling terribly articulate right now, but nice job!
2AngelWings8I forgot how much I really liked this one until I just reread it now.
One thing, though-I noticed that in the first fifth or so of the document, you include far more commas-and less periods, probably as a result?-than I've seen before in your work.
I know I struggle with run-on sentences, and I'm not sure if you've made a stylistic choice here-in which case, good for you cuz it totally works regardless or because of or whatever the commas-but if not, just, y'know, keep an eye out.
I love the gymnastics-related details, though, although I can't totally follow them...particularly things like moving the springboard then bouncing on it, or stretching after one has been standing around a while to re-warm up one's muscles.
I'm not feeling terribly articulate right now, but nice job!
5/5/2011 c1 Bridget
I loved this! I wish this would actually happen. It really could, you know, you described it so well. Payson working on her beam routine, determined to beat Lauren, every thought revolving around Worlds. It's just so...Payson. I loved Sasha too. He was so responsible and cool, but you could read between the lines and tell he was totally jealous of Austin and totally wanted to kiss her, and then maybe tell him he really cared about her beyond their athlete-coach relationship. This worked really well, and did I mention before that I so want this to actually happen? Well, I so do.
I loved this! I wish this would actually happen. It really could, you know, you described it so well. Payson working on her beam routine, determined to beat Lauren, every thought revolving around Worlds. It's just so...Payson. I loved Sasha too. He was so responsible and cool, but you could read between the lines and tell he was totally jealous of Austin and totally wanted to kiss her, and then maybe tell him he really cared about her beyond their athlete-coach relationship. This worked really well, and did I mention before that I so want this to actually happen? Well, I so do.
4/26/2011 c1 4Esm3rald
The story's great but it would be even better If you could write a long-fic as a sequel to this! I think there is a lot you can write still, even more so if you keep following the episodes of the second season. Think about it please!It would be really great!
4Esm3raldThe story's great but it would be even better If you could write a long-fic as a sequel to this! I think there is a lot you can write still, even more so if you keep following the episodes of the second season. Think about it please!It would be really great!
4/17/2011 c1 1Vapid Philosophy
YAY, you're writing again and this story seems really interesting. I'm already really spoiled for the season so its all good.
Payson and Lauren really sound like themselves in this story, so much so that this could be a script for the show.
Anyways keep up the good work, and I was wondering if you were going to write a sequel for Not Just Yet, but Almost?
1Vapid PhilosophyYAY, you're writing again and this story seems really interesting. I'm already really spoiled for the season so its all good.
Payson and Lauren really sound like themselves in this story, so much so that this could be a script for the show.
Anyways keep up the good work, and I was wondering if you were going to write a sequel for Not Just Yet, but Almost?
4/16/2011 c1 15XoXoNiLeY2010
that sequence with austin and payson made me laugh so hard! haha i can totally picture sasha's reaction to that! amazing writing, as usual! keep it up!
15XoXoNiLeY2010that sequence with austin and payson made me laugh so hard! haha i can totally picture sasha's reaction to that! amazing writing, as usual! keep it up!
4/15/2011 c1 elliemarie84
That was hot! Too bad it was a one shot because I would love to see where you would take this. The attraction is mutual and has been acknowledged but is still forbidden.
Your Lauren is so true to character. I would love to see her reaction to Payson's routine.
That was hot! Too bad it was a one shot because I would love to see where you would take this. The attraction is mutual and has been acknowledged but is still forbidden.
Your Lauren is so true to character. I would love to see her reaction to Payson's routine.
4/15/2011 c1 Shekinah
OH yeah
OH yeah
4/15/2011 c1 AndromedaJane
This is fantastic. I love, love, love your MIOBI fics. You do a brilliant job of portraying the tension between Payson and Sasha!
This is fantastic. I love, love, love your MIOBI fics. You do a brilliant job of portraying the tension between Payson and Sasha!
4/15/2011 c1 ronnniekins108
i love this! very well written...you're descriptions are great!
and you seem very knowledgeable about gymnastics and all.
in fact, this was so well done that you made me, an avid anti Payson-Sasha actually like and understand them haha :)
i love this! very well written...you're descriptions are great!
and you seem very knowledgeable about gymnastics and all.
in fact, this was so well done that you made me, an avid anti Payson-Sasha actually like and understand them haha :)
4/15/2011 c1 Virgo Writer
I like that there was continuity from your first 2B inspired drabble with the dismount. It's like your own little parallel 2B universe.
Incredible tension in that scene and it just built really well. Are you going to continue this one? It seems like it could go somewhere, although where I wouldn't know.
It was a great little piece. Hopefully we get something from you to accompany every episode, even if it is of the drabble variety.
I like that there was continuity from your first 2B inspired drabble with the dismount. It's like your own little parallel 2B universe.
Incredible tension in that scene and it just built really well. Are you going to continue this one? It seems like it could go somewhere, although where I wouldn't know.
It was a great little piece. Hopefully we get something from you to accompany every episode, even if it is of the drabble variety.