5/21/2011 c1 13Aspergian Mind
I've been putting up with this review for too long, it's like I should owe my thank you letter by a certain time before I enter douchebag territory. So I'm going to post it now, putting what I thought of so far and I'll go into further depth discussing in messages.

All that I got to say is...WOW!

I am grateful for this as a birthday present. I've skimmed through stories a lot recently, so long as I get the highlights from the chapters and lines of dialouge. But this is the first time in a long while where I made sure to read and scan every sentence. Partially it being made by a friend, partially it was made for me, but mainly how well each group of sentences describes the scene and emotions along side it.

Maybe what got me invested was the main character. You really captured Len Roberts as if he were me in the HALO universe. Because of that I feel compelled to read every detail, every thought and pain he endures. Because he's literally me.

And the fraility of him, being a clean, unexposed towel(pale skin) to be thrown into fire, dirt, mud, leaves, stepped on, and sh*tted on. I have to admit also having this fake sense of courage. Thinking I can accomplish, despite of myself, I could still be somewhat strong against adversity like a soldier should the time come or having no choice but to do something.

Now onto the plot. Man with a goal trying to get out by going to one hopeful destination. Intervened by the enemy he gets to know his captor, though I never get any sense that the Cheiftan never learns a solitary thing about him. So it was just Len trying to tolerate it's ethics least of all understand it that we learn about. Knowing your insightful writings into the Jiralhanae for a change, I was expecting some insight into Cheiftan a little. He literally takes Len as an object for capture than a being. Soldiers would no doubt do that prioritizing, taking objectives than not get emotionally involved. And the difference of species would make it all the most difficult.

Speaking of a wall of division in species, to allow characters to communicate. It did make me ponder of the plot and the motivations of the characters on the other side. To bad you decided to shift it entirely to a human perspective.

And then there's the bomb thing, I don't know that part of Halo, so I should ask. Is it like protocol that ONI staff have these bombs for precaution? I guess that work as equivalent to force suicide if all else fails in a COLE Protocol. Different ways of preventing the slip of information.

So is the cheiftan not killing Len because of the bomb or because it's important that I am captured alive so Len can talk in interrogation? I don't want to sound foolish in asking or make you sound ridiculous, but is the cheiftan literally taking him to ONI base?

That one scene of Len's attempted escape and coming across those nomads. I knew it would go full circle back with Cheiftan coming to the rescue, but that guy playing dead only to yelp and be stepped one, was a nice added touch.

I am rushing through this half a bit fast, but I figure you want to have this review now finally than even later. :/ Plus we can discuss and go into further detail after.

So quite literal even fight demanded that the elite abide by doing. Their thickness of muscles and bones of a Jiralhanae must mean he wasn't choked to death.

But I wonder what was to be accomplished for the Cheiftan by letting him go? And the Bible was literally what kept the codes. Huh, neat.

Sorry the review took a while for the story to sink in and keep thinking of different points to make made the wait even longer.

For that was impressive, and to go further from the intended 5 pages to 17, and this would only be the beginning of my analysis. This is by far my best birthday present. Thank you.

4/28/2011 c1 Ragecandy
Really interesting story but I don't get this, so the Covenant soldiers saved him?

4/28/2011 c1 dante's desciple
WOW...that was simply amazing but I wonder what made the brute comeback for Len?