for A Long Way to Fall6/26/2011 c1 
4DorestadGirl
Wow! I loved it! What a powerful piece!
I love the first sentence, [She knew it wasn't real.] this actually tells us so much about her!
Aaaah, this is such a tragic story!
["But the baby!" she would cry into the desperate darkness. "What about our child?"] This is so intense and heartfelt!
[The boy was small and wailing, nothing special at all.] Poor Voldie, no wonder he grew up to become a horrible heartless person.
Beautifully written and oh so tragic. I want more! You mentioned there were seven chapters to this story...?
4DorestadGirlWow! I loved it! What a powerful piece!
I love the first sentence, [She knew it wasn't real.] this actually tells us so much about her!
Aaaah, this is such a tragic story!
["But the baby!" she would cry into the desperate darkness. "What about our child?"] This is so intense and heartfelt!
[The boy was small and wailing, nothing special at all.] Poor Voldie, no wonder he grew up to become a horrible heartless person.
Beautifully written and oh so tragic. I want more! You mentioned there were seven chapters to this story...?
6/23/2011 c1 Free Dreamer Night Writer
Wow, this was so amazing. I love how you incorporated a nursery rhyme, it made it slightly more haunting. It's a tragic beauty that I absolutly loved and can't wait to read again and again
Wow, this was so amazing. I love how you incorporated a nursery rhyme, it made it slightly more haunting. It's a tragic beauty that I absolutly loved and can't wait to read again and again
5/30/2011 c1 36TASHAx
I LOVE stuff based on the seven deadly sins! This makes me excited inside.
I really liked this, Kiles. Your prose is so beautiful and wrenching, you talented thing.
/The truth had slit the veil- this illusion which she had so carefully fashioned had disintegrated./ WOW. You have such a beautiful way with words, miss.
/"But the baby!" she would cry into the desperate darkness. "What about our child?"/ That broke my heart. I could feel her desperation.
/The boy was small and wailing, nothing special at all./ Not yet, anyway. ;)
I can't wait to read more of this, Kiles, love!
36TASHAxI LOVE stuff based on the seven deadly sins! This makes me excited inside.
I really liked this, Kiles. Your prose is so beautiful and wrenching, you talented thing.
/The truth had slit the veil- this illusion which she had so carefully fashioned had disintegrated./ WOW. You have such a beautiful way with words, miss.
/"But the baby!" she would cry into the desperate darkness. "What about our child?"/ That broke my heart. I could feel her desperation.
/The boy was small and wailing, nothing special at all./ Not yet, anyway. ;)
I can't wait to read more of this, Kiles, love!
5/22/2011 c1 4ellesra
I like this. I'm also a big fan of the Deadly Sins, so I'll look forward to an update. See ya!
4ellesraI like this. I'm also a big fan of the Deadly Sins, so I'll look forward to an update. See ya!
5/15/2011 c1 1ImprintMeJacob
Kiley, this was VERY well. I'm so proud of ya. *pets head*
I think that your style is very sophisticated. :)
- Rose x
1ImprintMeJacobKiley, this was VERY well. I'm so proud of ya. *pets head*
I think that your style is very sophisticated. :)
- Rose x
5/11/2011 c1 20ink-stained dreams
That was...just...I don't know what word to use. It's so heart-wrenching and tragic. Your descriptions and adjectives are very powerful; I was sitting on the edge of my seat. I actually thought it might be Ginny&Draco, but the end really threw me off. Nice job keeping her identity ambiguous until the final moment. I'm looking forward to the rest of them!
20ink-stained dreamsThat was...just...I don't know what word to use. It's so heart-wrenching and tragic. Your descriptions and adjectives are very powerful; I was sitting on the edge of my seat. I actually thought it might be Ginny&Draco, but the end really threw me off. Nice job keeping her identity ambiguous until the final moment. I'm looking forward to the rest of them!
5/7/2011 c1 41TuesdayNovember
Okay, so... THIS WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE. Seriously, I loved it. It's like, everything you write is better than the last, and they're ALL wonderful.
Anyway. Specifics.
I think what was most incredible about this was the descriptions. Honestly, I just fell madly in love with your writing style here. I can't pick lines to quote because I would LITERALLY be quoting the whole thing. From the first few lines, I was drawn in. I liked the way you told the story mostly without dialogue - it made what speech there was all the more profound. And I also completely loved the way you used the rhyme, "ashes, ashes, we all fall down" - now THAT was deeply profound.
I also very much thought your idea of using Merope and Tom Sr. was perfect. I don't think I've ever read anything that depicted Merope as lustful like this, but I think it's actually a realistic interpretation. She's been pretty much starved of affection her whole life, so her desire for it now is realistic. I also thought the way you kept up the motif of reality and fantasy - very well done. And I also liked the way you showed Merope doesn't even really care for her son. It seems as though she sees him only as a connection to Tom Sr., which IS pretty much all he is to her. So I thought that was very well done.
So, in all, I thought this was wonderfully done, and I enjoyed it very much, and I can't wait to see what you do next.
I reiterate: LOVED IT.
41TuesdayNovemberOkay, so... THIS WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE. Seriously, I loved it. It's like, everything you write is better than the last, and they're ALL wonderful.
Anyway. Specifics.
I think what was most incredible about this was the descriptions. Honestly, I just fell madly in love with your writing style here. I can't pick lines to quote because I would LITERALLY be quoting the whole thing. From the first few lines, I was drawn in. I liked the way you told the story mostly without dialogue - it made what speech there was all the more profound. And I also completely loved the way you used the rhyme, "ashes, ashes, we all fall down" - now THAT was deeply profound.
I also very much thought your idea of using Merope and Tom Sr. was perfect. I don't think I've ever read anything that depicted Merope as lustful like this, but I think it's actually a realistic interpretation. She's been pretty much starved of affection her whole life, so her desire for it now is realistic. I also thought the way you kept up the motif of reality and fantasy - very well done. And I also liked the way you showed Merope doesn't even really care for her son. It seems as though she sees him only as a connection to Tom Sr., which IS pretty much all he is to her. So I thought that was very well done.
So, in all, I thought this was wonderfully done, and I enjoyed it very much, and I can't wait to see what you do next.
I reiterate: LOVED IT.