for Mishaps Of The Eastern Wonderland9/28/2012 c7 
27WillieG.R
Ok, this was just so awesome in so many ways. Bat-Hime, Marisa's reminicing of Koakuma's interrogation methods, Kasen and Seiga-sis, Youmu getting a crush (win), Aya going EX warrior/torturer on that poor girl whose mind got totally broken, Sakuya's bad day, Sanae being a sexy devil and a very good girl... OMG SO MUCH! And WTF!?
Ok, no, seriously, what happened with Alice there?! OMG dude, I am SO F***ING JEALOUS of that guy! Seriously, I want him DEAD! Why is she returning the kiss!? WHYYYYYYYY!?
With that out of the way, I just LOVED how Komachi got accidentally involved, though I felt really bad for her, since all the attacks were really turned on her at first. That, and Kasen showing that ninja ** she's not such a pushover. Ah, but that shinigami... is **. This won't end well for the ninja (I hope)
Heh, VERY nice job with Minako there :D! Seriously awesome job. How easily she spotted that hickey, how she quickly noticed that "sweat" between the captive's legs was "something else", and how easily she spots SEXY from a mile away. I REALLY like her more (yes you made me like my own OC even more XD).
And that Yukari. GOT-DAMMIT YUKARI! What a **! She's making a killing over the stolen goods and goodies. And... wait a moment!? Does/did Yuuya (Yuria) has/had a crush on Youki!? U-fu-fu-fu Put more gargoyles over there and scare the info out of Yukari, please!
OMG, Aya! Not frightening, but... I felt a chill going down my spine there. She's really lost it, and she went and raped her captive. I wish I could Have seen-err, I mean, that poor girl! At first I was glad she had that captive, but after a bit, I felt sorry for said captive, but seeing her cry like that... I lost it. I was rooting for Sanae there... until Aya declared herself the ninja-tengu's mama. Now I'm kinda rooting for both.
And I "AWWWWWWW"-ed a lot with Youmu and her crush on Sano. Still, she went on and accepted the challenge, and then... WTF? What is that they got themselves mixed up with now? What do those little mountain kappa know?
And again *clears throat* I WANNA KILL THAT BASTARD! How! How is it that he got a POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM ALICE!? How did he win that lone-wolf's heart!? I am as shocked as Shanghai and Hourai!
I will IMPATIENTLY wait for the next chapter! And don't you DARE think I have forgotten about "The Man that Fell in Love With Satori"! I got my eye on you, mister. But this ninja story goes first! Oh yes it does!
27WillieG.ROk, this was just so awesome in so many ways. Bat-Hime, Marisa's reminicing of Koakuma's interrogation methods, Kasen and Seiga-sis, Youmu getting a crush (win), Aya going EX warrior/torturer on that poor girl whose mind got totally broken, Sakuya's bad day, Sanae being a sexy devil and a very good girl... OMG SO MUCH! And WTF!?
Ok, no, seriously, what happened with Alice there?! OMG dude, I am SO F***ING JEALOUS of that guy! Seriously, I want him DEAD! Why is she returning the kiss!? WHYYYYYYYY!?
With that out of the way, I just LOVED how Komachi got accidentally involved, though I felt really bad for her, since all the attacks were really turned on her at first. That, and Kasen showing that ninja ** she's not such a pushover. Ah, but that shinigami... is **. This won't end well for the ninja (I hope)
Heh, VERY nice job with Minako there :D! Seriously awesome job. How easily she spotted that hickey, how she quickly noticed that "sweat" between the captive's legs was "something else", and how easily she spots SEXY from a mile away. I REALLY like her more (yes you made me like my own OC even more XD).
And that Yukari. GOT-DAMMIT YUKARI! What a **! She's making a killing over the stolen goods and goodies. And... wait a moment!? Does/did Yuuya (Yuria) has/had a crush on Youki!? U-fu-fu-fu Put more gargoyles over there and scare the info out of Yukari, please!
OMG, Aya! Not frightening, but... I felt a chill going down my spine there. She's really lost it, and she went and raped her captive. I wish I could Have seen-err, I mean, that poor girl! At first I was glad she had that captive, but after a bit, I felt sorry for said captive, but seeing her cry like that... I lost it. I was rooting for Sanae there... until Aya declared herself the ninja-tengu's mama. Now I'm kinda rooting for both.
And I "AWWWWWWW"-ed a lot with Youmu and her crush on Sano. Still, she went on and accepted the challenge, and then... WTF? What is that they got themselves mixed up with now? What do those little mountain kappa know?
And again *clears throat* I WANNA KILL THAT BASTARD! How! How is it that he got a POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM ALICE!? How did he win that lone-wolf's heart!? I am as shocked as Shanghai and Hourai!
I will IMPATIENTLY wait for the next chapter! And don't you DARE think I have forgotten about "The Man that Fell in Love With Satori"! I got my eye on you, mister. But this ninja story goes first! Oh yes it does!
9/25/2012 c7 6Mephiles666
"I've managed to do that a master ninja? Where is she now…?"
"Damn! What the hell is going on?" Trigger Happy demanded, fight or flight instincts kicking in. "You're so kinda freak!"
"No more trouble than you are once they found out that I'm missing," the youkai spat.
Those three parts seem to have grammar or spelling issues with them I suggest you edit.
Story wise, I liked this. Not much to say beyond that, but I liked it.
6Mephiles666"I've managed to do that a master ninja? Where is she now…?"
"Damn! What the hell is going on?" Trigger Happy demanded, fight or flight instincts kicking in. "You're so kinda freak!"
"No more trouble than you are once they found out that I'm missing," the youkai spat.
Those three parts seem to have grammar or spelling issues with them I suggest you edit.
Story wise, I liked this. Not much to say beyond that, but I liked it.
6/23/2012 c6 3nekokuro13
Meh, I knew it not to put it past you with hints at perversion in the first thousand words.
Yea! It's Kotohime!
Aah... so you're referring to Akyu's description of Mokou, eh? :P
Yea... fatal mistake there... the donation box...
'"...Pain is only weakness leaving the body."' - Yep. Good point there. Aww... Reimu crying is really a sorry sight, eh? I mean, she is supposed to be Gensokyo's tough maiden.
I wonder if Kotohime had any... colleagues in her police department. :P
'"It's like all those times when Suwako-sama taunted Kanako-sama about changing her diapers when she was a child."' - :P
Suffering Shanghai indeed.
Kasen, Kasen, Kasen... Shouldn't you have no worldly attachments? :P Oh, wait, so what they stole from you count as worldly attachment? Wait, why am I asking those kinds of question! I'm infected, help!
The heck? Yuyuko was EATEN? :O Talk about irony. I knew that Miyako is a rival to her in that, but... :O
'"I guess I was fooled by your reputation in the Wild & Horned Hermit story."' - geez, you really like breaking the 4th wall, do you?
''Rumia Owned Count: 4'' - :O Well, having played EoSD a few times today, my Rumia Owned Count would be... 14? Tough to be a 1st Stage boss.
Okay. Chie Tobari. Your name is out. XD
'(her infamous 'clueless' face in the official manga)' -lol
Tough fight, eh, Kasen?
'"...There's even a legendary nue here that resembles a chic young woman from the outside world. And you know how grotesque the nue are."' - Yep, all hail ZUN for filling Gensokyo with moe... :P
And... Aya. Perfect. Who else is better suited to counter ninjas?
'"I think I've stepped on a mecha figurine just now."' - XD. Of all figurines... those hurt the most to be stepped on. Well, thanks. You gave me lots of materials to study on the mad princess. Lol, 27? Oh yeah, PC-98 character. XD
A strong boss? Youkai of course. No questions asked. I wonder what kind of youkai... maybe a ninja in species, like how Alice is a witch as a species? Meh, then is there a samurai species, a shrine maiden species, a... I'm digressing. Now, back to the story.
'Both Hsiao and Nobu cringed at the scorned woman's threat.' - Yea, typical men. 'KER-PLOK!' - Ha! that's more like it!
Dang nightmare. You just have to give tons of fan service, do you? And, yeah, I agree. It's never complete without an extended "Meowr." Yep, wild and Horned hermit. '"...nevermind. This is fan-fiction, after all."' Looks like Seiga just passed through the 4th wall. Not just material ones, eh? And... Seiga believes in ghosts? I don't know, of course there are ghosts, but somehow that's funny in a way to me. Ah, how pleasant, Koishi! Ouch, another extended 'Meowr.' And, Seiga bumping against the wall? XD
'"...Remind me not to read another book from… Stephanie Myer, okay?"' - Yep, Alice, I feel for you. That book threw Remilia into a rage in every universe I visited.
'"Al Coholic?"' - lol. Talk about lame jokes. 'Suddenly, a miniature version of Seiga Kaku appeared from out of nowhere with a set of cymbals, supplying a rim-shot.' - Yep.
And here's Mokou, the one said to be the leader of a pack of ninjas. :P '"...like it's mating season in the African Serengeti."' - lol.
Uh, wow? Even that rabbit got involved? O_O
'The most beautiful girl in Touhou canon...' - lol, you just have to say that, do you?
Yep, Reimu could fight. Yukari behind this? I guessed.
And... Seiga's trying to get familiar with Kasen. The hermit's right to be suspicious.
You've written Yuuka? Heads will roll! XD And Hsiao, if your creator hates you, you are so... scr-ahem. I'm not going to descend to their level.
Well, last chapter was noticably better, so this chapter... is okay.
3nekokuro13Meh, I knew it not to put it past you with hints at perversion in the first thousand words.
Yea! It's Kotohime!
Aah... so you're referring to Akyu's description of Mokou, eh? :P
Yea... fatal mistake there... the donation box...
'"...Pain is only weakness leaving the body."' - Yep. Good point there. Aww... Reimu crying is really a sorry sight, eh? I mean, she is supposed to be Gensokyo's tough maiden.
I wonder if Kotohime had any... colleagues in her police department. :P
'"It's like all those times when Suwako-sama taunted Kanako-sama about changing her diapers when she was a child."' - :P
Suffering Shanghai indeed.
Kasen, Kasen, Kasen... Shouldn't you have no worldly attachments? :P Oh, wait, so what they stole from you count as worldly attachment? Wait, why am I asking those kinds of question! I'm infected, help!
The heck? Yuyuko was EATEN? :O Talk about irony. I knew that Miyako is a rival to her in that, but... :O
'"I guess I was fooled by your reputation in the Wild & Horned Hermit story."' - geez, you really like breaking the 4th wall, do you?
''Rumia Owned Count: 4'' - :O Well, having played EoSD a few times today, my Rumia Owned Count would be... 14? Tough to be a 1st Stage boss.
Okay. Chie Tobari. Your name is out. XD
'(her infamous 'clueless' face in the official manga)' -lol
Tough fight, eh, Kasen?
'"...There's even a legendary nue here that resembles a chic young woman from the outside world. And you know how grotesque the nue are."' - Yep, all hail ZUN for filling Gensokyo with moe... :P
And... Aya. Perfect. Who else is better suited to counter ninjas?
'"I think I've stepped on a mecha figurine just now."' - XD. Of all figurines... those hurt the most to be stepped on. Well, thanks. You gave me lots of materials to study on the mad princess. Lol, 27? Oh yeah, PC-98 character. XD
A strong boss? Youkai of course. No questions asked. I wonder what kind of youkai... maybe a ninja in species, like how Alice is a witch as a species? Meh, then is there a samurai species, a shrine maiden species, a... I'm digressing. Now, back to the story.
'Both Hsiao and Nobu cringed at the scorned woman's threat.' - Yea, typical men. 'KER-PLOK!' - Ha! that's more like it!
Dang nightmare. You just have to give tons of fan service, do you? And, yeah, I agree. It's never complete without an extended "Meowr." Yep, wild and Horned hermit. '"...nevermind. This is fan-fiction, after all."' Looks like Seiga just passed through the 4th wall. Not just material ones, eh? And... Seiga believes in ghosts? I don't know, of course there are ghosts, but somehow that's funny in a way to me. Ah, how pleasant, Koishi! Ouch, another extended 'Meowr.' And, Seiga bumping against the wall? XD
'"...Remind me not to read another book from… Stephanie Myer, okay?"' - Yep, Alice, I feel for you. That book threw Remilia into a rage in every universe I visited.
'"Al Coholic?"' - lol. Talk about lame jokes. 'Suddenly, a miniature version of Seiga Kaku appeared from out of nowhere with a set of cymbals, supplying a rim-shot.' - Yep.
And here's Mokou, the one said to be the leader of a pack of ninjas. :P '"...like it's mating season in the African Serengeti."' - lol.
Uh, wow? Even that rabbit got involved? O_O
'The most beautiful girl in Touhou canon...' - lol, you just have to say that, do you?
Yep, Reimu could fight. Yukari behind this? I guessed.
And... Seiga's trying to get familiar with Kasen. The hermit's right to be suspicious.
You've written Yuuka? Heads will roll! XD And Hsiao, if your creator hates you, you are so... scr-ahem. I'm not going to descend to their level.
Well, last chapter was noticably better, so this chapter... is okay.
6/18/2012 c5 nekokuro13
33k words... that's... like 10 chapters of my latest story... and that story has only 10 chapters until now...
The hheck? Married already? And double the hhheck? Sanae? Oh geez. *shoots the author.
Dreams... Oh gosh.
Hm, you have good choice of wording, though, had to compliment your vocabulary. Believe me, I had to use a thesaurus half the time.
Ah, to have Meiling reminding Sakuya to be careful... what's the world gone to? '"...It's even going slower than Patchy's."' - *imagines Patchy doing maid works. Um, shoot me. Oh, Meiling is a yaojing? Well, interpretations, Gensokyo's a free country. Okay, we have a mysterious guest.
'In fact, the vampire was grinning in glee once she discovered that there was someone in Gensokyou that is smaller than her (much to Suwako's chagrin).' - I did a facepalming lol at this. Oh, it's Tenshi? Haven't seen her for quite some time in fan fictions.
Uh, gotta love the way you make Eyes do the speaking. And for the love of- it's Cirno! Heck! XD Lucky I don't have Gatorade to spill.
Aunt Flandre? Guh. I remember reading a doujin of Flandre kyuuing away sickness. I wonder how she captured the virus' eye. Ah, the devil's scared of the angel. It's kinda ironic how the angel is the one with the more demonic personality.
Tenshi vs Meiling does sound like a battle worth seeing. Uh, god. Looks like a female version of Tekken.
Pfff. SUICIDE SQUADRON! XD Gah, you're killing me!
'...the sounds of their necks snapping were satisfying!' - Yup, that's sweet Sanae. And that fairy wished? Sanae answers prayers, you! And... Cap, you're an expert in trash talk it seems.
Sigh... looks like Sakuya's the thing gluing the Mansion together, eh? No Sakuya equals boom! All Gensokyo breaks loose.
'A red haired version of Luna Child shrieked.' - lol different pallette? XD '"** please!"' - oh em gee! Memes in Gensokyo! Now I'll be expecting a fairy to go Impossibru! '"Yukari's Gap Hag Troll-jutsu,"' - Uh, not so creative with the name, eh, Reimu? XD Oh man, Reimu's the bad guy alright! Like a boss! You won't see that in ZUN's Gensokyo! XD 'Rena Ryuuga and Maria Ushiromiya' - Uh, I never imagine seeing those names, of all places, here! You sir, are full of surprises.
Ah, Tenshi is at Yuugi, Hijiri, and Yuuka's level. That's a fact I often forget. I mean, with her slight figure and all... And, hmm, it's rare to see anyone give Meiling this much cool screen time. She must be having the time of her life. And Tenshi, she's Heaven's naughty little girl, alright. What the, ah, I'm not here for fanservice! Criiiiinge, the scream from Heaven! (facepalming, CPU overload)
'Sometimes... this tale is getting a little too loony for it's own good. "Make it stop!"' - that, Capt, summarizes this story magnificently. Although I think it's not sometimes, but, most of the time!
And... you enjoy letting Sanae have it, huh? I... pity that nice girl. '"...Kids today!"' XD '"You hax!"'
Reimu and some 70's ghost? Lol kinda random.
Nue in the battle of the pro's... *cringes at the sound of breaking bones* Tenshi... wow, she uses hax alright. Their battle is at Impossibru level already. And... unlike most, you choose to depict Meiling as a very adept guard. Which is actually in truth closer to canon.
And so... this story ends. Heck the title was misleading. This is not mischief, this is mayhem!
33k words... that's... like 10 chapters of my latest story... and that story has only 10 chapters until now...
The hheck? Married already? And double the hhheck? Sanae? Oh geez. *shoots the author.
Dreams... Oh gosh.
Hm, you have good choice of wording, though, had to compliment your vocabulary. Believe me, I had to use a thesaurus half the time.
Ah, to have Meiling reminding Sakuya to be careful... what's the world gone to? '"...It's even going slower than Patchy's."' - *imagines Patchy doing maid works. Um, shoot me. Oh, Meiling is a yaojing? Well, interpretations, Gensokyo's a free country. Okay, we have a mysterious guest.
'In fact, the vampire was grinning in glee once she discovered that there was someone in Gensokyou that is smaller than her (much to Suwako's chagrin).' - I did a facepalming lol at this. Oh, it's Tenshi? Haven't seen her for quite some time in fan fictions.
Uh, gotta love the way you make Eyes do the speaking. And for the love of- it's Cirno! Heck! XD Lucky I don't have Gatorade to spill.
Aunt Flandre? Guh. I remember reading a doujin of Flandre kyuuing away sickness. I wonder how she captured the virus' eye. Ah, the devil's scared of the angel. It's kinda ironic how the angel is the one with the more demonic personality.
Tenshi vs Meiling does sound like a battle worth seeing. Uh, god. Looks like a female version of Tekken.
Pfff. SUICIDE SQUADRON! XD Gah, you're killing me!
'...the sounds of their necks snapping were satisfying!' - Yup, that's sweet Sanae. And that fairy wished? Sanae answers prayers, you! And... Cap, you're an expert in trash talk it seems.
Sigh... looks like Sakuya's the thing gluing the Mansion together, eh? No Sakuya equals boom! All Gensokyo breaks loose.
'A red haired version of Luna Child shrieked.' - lol different pallette? XD '"** please!"' - oh em gee! Memes in Gensokyo! Now I'll be expecting a fairy to go Impossibru! '"Yukari's Gap Hag Troll-jutsu,"' - Uh, not so creative with the name, eh, Reimu? XD Oh man, Reimu's the bad guy alright! Like a boss! You won't see that in ZUN's Gensokyo! XD 'Rena Ryuuga and Maria Ushiromiya' - Uh, I never imagine seeing those names, of all places, here! You sir, are full of surprises.
Ah, Tenshi is at Yuugi, Hijiri, and Yuuka's level. That's a fact I often forget. I mean, with her slight figure and all... And, hmm, it's rare to see anyone give Meiling this much cool screen time. She must be having the time of her life. And Tenshi, she's Heaven's naughty little girl, alright. What the, ah, I'm not here for fanservice! Criiiiinge, the scream from Heaven! (facepalming, CPU overload)
'Sometimes... this tale is getting a little too loony for it's own good. "Make it stop!"' - that, Capt, summarizes this story magnificently. Although I think it's not sometimes, but, most of the time!
And... you enjoy letting Sanae have it, huh? I... pity that nice girl. '"...Kids today!"' XD '"You hax!"'
Reimu and some 70's ghost? Lol kinda random.
Nue in the battle of the pro's... *cringes at the sound of breaking bones* Tenshi... wow, she uses hax alright. Their battle is at Impossibru level already. And... unlike most, you choose to depict Meiling as a very adept guard. Which is actually in truth closer to canon.
And so... this story ends. Heck the title was misleading. This is not mischief, this is mayhem!
5/31/2012 c6 6Mephiles666
Kaguya says "Did I died just now?"
Me thinks you might want to change that.
Awesome for the most part, I shill anticipate when you post the conclusion.
4/5 stars.
6Mephiles666Kaguya says "Did I died just now?"
Me thinks you might want to change that.
Awesome for the most part, I shill anticipate when you post the conclusion.
4/5 stars.
5/31/2012 c5 Mephiles666
A lot of spelling errors but i forgot what they were.
Lol! "Mystery Guy"!
And Sanae,Marisa and Reimu had it coming.
A lot of spelling errors but i forgot what they were.
Lol! "Mystery Guy"!
And Sanae,Marisa and Reimu had it coming.
5/26/2012 c4 3nekokuro13
Nope.
26 K words... (takes a deep breath)
'"Don't you know who I am? You're gonna spank me? "' - Ahaha, Suwako-chan... ;
'A humorous duo on a divine level, that is.' - sou... sou desu yo...
'"Besides, I spent a part of your college fund trying to win a prize out of that rigged machine."' - Uh huh...
Ok... so that's how Suwako got her signature hat...
Aha, Rumia-chan! And she was just a Stage 1 Boss... oh, Rumia and co...
Uh, Kotohime... nice to see that maniac princess once in a while... uh, NOT!
Forward, forward, forward, the story flowing well, forward, forward, Aya being a jerk...
A super-youkai? Yep, Yukari-sama, who made tonnes of Touhou fanfictions possible. We authors owe her a lot. XD
'"And people thought that I was arrogant..."' - Yup, Tenshi, I feel for you... that's why ZUN created Hatate!
Divorce... not pretty, but you captured those emotions well. Good.
'She actually thought that Yukari was some white-haired old lady with horns that dresses herself in ancient Japanese clothes.' - Ahaha.
'So much for turning you into a Touhou girl.' - XD
'"You sure fit the bill of an OC entering Gensokyou."' - 4th wall in danger!
'"Those that once enter and leave Gensokyou... may never walk upon this land again."' - Interesting point. A question, as between authors, is this canon? Because I find this very interesting. Even if it is not, I'm thinking of giving it serious consideration for my stories in the future.
'"Just so you know, Yukari's a troll. A big troll. I am very convinced that she wrote the book on trolling."' - *went to sulk in a corner.
*still sulking, so doesn't feel like commenting the rest 2000 words.
3nekokuro13Nope.
26 K words... (takes a deep breath)
'"Don't you know who I am? You're gonna spank me? "' - Ahaha, Suwako-chan... ;
'A humorous duo on a divine level, that is.' - sou... sou desu yo...
'"Besides, I spent a part of your college fund trying to win a prize out of that rigged machine."' - Uh huh...
Ok... so that's how Suwako got her signature hat...
Aha, Rumia-chan! And she was just a Stage 1 Boss... oh, Rumia and co...
Uh, Kotohime... nice to see that maniac princess once in a while... uh, NOT!
Forward, forward, forward, the story flowing well, forward, forward, Aya being a jerk...
A super-youkai? Yep, Yukari-sama, who made tonnes of Touhou fanfictions possible. We authors owe her a lot. XD
'"And people thought that I was arrogant..."' - Yup, Tenshi, I feel for you... that's why ZUN created Hatate!
Divorce... not pretty, but you captured those emotions well. Good.
'She actually thought that Yukari was some white-haired old lady with horns that dresses herself in ancient Japanese clothes.' - Ahaha.
'So much for turning you into a Touhou girl.' - XD
'"You sure fit the bill of an OC entering Gensokyou."' - 4th wall in danger!
'"Those that once enter and leave Gensokyou... may never walk upon this land again."' - Interesting point. A question, as between authors, is this canon? Because I find this very interesting. Even if it is not, I'm thinking of giving it serious consideration for my stories in the future.
'"Just so you know, Yukari's a troll. A big troll. I am very convinced that she wrote the book on trolling."' - *went to sulk in a corner.
*still sulking, so doesn't feel like commenting the rest 2000 words.
5/20/2012 c3 nekokuro13
Lovely title! And when your girlfriend is someone who can read your every thought... WOW. Just wow.
Wait... 12,000 words! Gasp, wheeze... maybe you should break it into smaller ones a bit? It's still okay to arrange short stories into, like... Short Story X (part 1), then the next chapter, short story X (part 2). And I can expect the next chapter's going to be even longer.
Hm, groundhog? I prefer Lily White, thanks.
No, Alice! What happened to you? Ouch. Hope Koishi managed to knock some sense back to her. I take that back. Not the Dougie!
Lol, nice convo with the raccoon. Lol, Joe? Isn't it Bob? XD
Lol, Rin seems quite a sadist. XD Loving this depiction of Rin-sama. Lol, Yuyuko victim. Trolls go to hell, I knew it! Wait, am I one too? Lol, tax-collectors are evil, eh? Oh, no, perversion at work again! D: Lol, but I like the way Rin cosplayed as the devil. Good one.
Ouch, Marisa and Alice... there goes my innocent image of you two...
And Myouren temple... gah... Hijiri-sama... get well quick! They're going crazy without you!
'"You can read my mind?"
"I'm afraid so," Satori confirmed.
"Holy **! I'm sorry!"' - rofl, take that! Gah, men and their thoughts! Lol, sweet scene though.
'"Well... then I'll be an aunt."' - lol'd. Had to say I like Satori's personality.
Music? Should've been mentioned earlier, now I can't even reread the story while listening to said musics. And my internet lagged, just lagged, just now. Perfect!
Well, overall, I'm not one to look for, comment on or enjoy perverted scenes, but the other parts of the story... well, good enough.
Lovely title! And when your girlfriend is someone who can read your every thought... WOW. Just wow.
Wait... 12,000 words! Gasp, wheeze... maybe you should break it into smaller ones a bit? It's still okay to arrange short stories into, like... Short Story X (part 1), then the next chapter, short story X (part 2). And I can expect the next chapter's going to be even longer.
Hm, groundhog? I prefer Lily White, thanks.
No, Alice! What happened to you? Ouch. Hope Koishi managed to knock some sense back to her. I take that back. Not the Dougie!
Lol, nice convo with the raccoon. Lol, Joe? Isn't it Bob? XD
Lol, Rin seems quite a sadist. XD Loving this depiction of Rin-sama. Lol, Yuyuko victim. Trolls go to hell, I knew it! Wait, am I one too? Lol, tax-collectors are evil, eh? Oh, no, perversion at work again! D: Lol, but I like the way Rin cosplayed as the devil. Good one.
Ouch, Marisa and Alice... there goes my innocent image of you two...
And Myouren temple... gah... Hijiri-sama... get well quick! They're going crazy without you!
'"You can read my mind?"
"I'm afraid so," Satori confirmed.
"Holy **! I'm sorry!"' - rofl, take that! Gah, men and their thoughts! Lol, sweet scene though.
'"Well... then I'll be an aunt."' - lol'd. Had to say I like Satori's personality.
Music? Should've been mentioned earlier, now I can't even reread the story while listening to said musics. And my internet lagged, just lagged, just now. Perfect!
Well, overall, I'm not one to look for, comment on or enjoy perverted scenes, but the other parts of the story... well, good enough.
5/20/2012 c2 nekokuro13
Yahoo! Dark stories!
Ah, 16th century? I knew those history textbooks are lying!
Ha! Lecture those humans Remilia! Them and their so called righteousness agendas!
Ouch! To insult Remilia's figure! You're doomed humans, doomed! That Rachel, gugh...
Ezekiel: No, Remi, I'm your father.
Remilia: Nooooooooooooo! This cannot be! You don't even look like a Tohuou character!
O_O : . . . Ignore that bit of randomness outburst.
Oh, so Gloria's not her mother? Good twist. Glad Ezekiel's not, too.
Rachel? Heck I hate her! (You know your story is good when a hateful character turns out hateful) Remilia, next time, really kill her! Kill it! Kill it with fire!
Black cat charisma breaker. Rofl.
Yay! Flan! Oh, wait, Remi, don't tell her now! Aww... Sakuya... :3
This chapter's good. I liked it. Good job!
Yahoo! Dark stories!
Ah, 16th century? I knew those history textbooks are lying!
Ha! Lecture those humans Remilia! Them and their so called righteousness agendas!
Ouch! To insult Remilia's figure! You're doomed humans, doomed! That Rachel, gugh...
Ezekiel: No, Remi, I'm your father.
Remilia: Nooooooooooooo! This cannot be! You don't even look like a Tohuou character!
O_O : . . . Ignore that bit of randomness outburst.
Oh, so Gloria's not her mother? Good twist. Glad Ezekiel's not, too.
Rachel? Heck I hate her! (You know your story is good when a hateful character turns out hateful) Remilia, next time, really kill her! Kill it! Kill it with fire!
Black cat charisma breaker. Rofl.
Yay! Flan! Oh, wait, Remi, don't tell her now! Aww... Sakuya... :3
This chapter's good. I liked it. Good job!
5/18/2012 c1 nekokuro13
'"Youkai stew."' XD
'"I know who I'm praying to later on."' - lol, in gensokyo, gods are super heroes. :P
Rumia! That's much more dangerous than poking at a hornet's nest! Gah, too late. (watches Rumia flying through the stratosphere) (facepalmed)
Poor Sanae... Really really poor her...
'"Youkai stew."' XD
'"I know who I'm praying to later on."' - lol, in gensokyo, gods are super heroes. :P
Rumia! That's much more dangerous than poking at a hornet's nest! Gah, too late. (watches Rumia flying through the stratosphere) (facepalmed)
Poor Sanae... Really really poor her...
5/6/2012 c6 27WillieG.R
There's so much I could say, but I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. THIS~ WAS~ AWESOME! You have done an epic-awesome job with this, and I am wanting to throttle you, kick you, hit you with a chair, and then throw you to Kasen so that she may lay the divine smack down you deserve! Irony tastes metallic. Why do I say this? Because I am the LAST person that should be saying stuff like this, after all the evils I've put the Touhou girls (particularly the mountain goddesses and Chiyuri) through.
That aside, the ninjas are all really cool, in their own EVIL way. Chie is one AWESOME antagonist. Loved her catfight with Alice, and played it over and over my mind un-AHEHEHEHEM! No, I said nothing. Anyways, I want to take Hsiao, place him inside a large barrel, stuff that barrel with many swords, throw that barrel at the center of the Hakurei Shrine, and let the Touhou girls teach that youkai how to treat the ladies! He's a pervert, a bastard, he stole Kasen's first kiss, he fondled Kotohime... Some would say he deserves a medal, and I would have too, but then he crossed the line after stealing that kiss, and then PASSING A DAMNED BLADE THROUGH KASEN'S CHEST! Not only that, but he and Chie caused that poor hermit to lose her temper... Oh dear.
Heh, you have made Seiga into one of my favorite Touhou girls now. Seriously, though her participation was limited, it was a jewel that shines brighter each time, especially at the end. She came in at just the right time. She'll bring Kasen back, I'm sure. Oh, and good save on the hair buns. Let's not reveal things in fan fictions that have not yet been revealed in the canon stories. But then, Seiga knows about this. To her, the 4th wall is NOTHING! I laughed hard at how she owned that poor Koishi. Seriously, that was EVIL. I loved it! Oh, and that Sano... Yup, he's the man! Lolis are cute, I cannot deny that, but, like him, I think REAL women are much better. Oh yes! Wait, that reminds me. Hsiao converted from a lolicon to something more manly there, thanks to Kasen. WTF? And speaking of pervertedness, Marisa's a shotacon after all! Hah, she liked that perverted kid's mouth. What a pervert XD!
By the way, on Seiga's and Kasen's second encounter (after the dream, and I think during it too) you named "Kasen" when you were referring to "Seiga". A bit confusing, but hey, I was also distracted at the time, imagining that elder hermit in black boyshorts, and that rose cutie wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. GLORY BE, WONDERFUL FANSERVICE!
27WillieG.RThere's so much I could say, but I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. THIS~ WAS~ AWESOME! You have done an epic-awesome job with this, and I am wanting to throttle you, kick you, hit you with a chair, and then throw you to Kasen so that she may lay the divine smack down you deserve! Irony tastes metallic. Why do I say this? Because I am the LAST person that should be saying stuff like this, after all the evils I've put the Touhou girls (particularly the mountain goddesses and Chiyuri) through.
That aside, the ninjas are all really cool, in their own EVIL way. Chie is one AWESOME antagonist. Loved her catfight with Alice, and played it over and over my mind un-AHEHEHEHEM! No, I said nothing. Anyways, I want to take Hsiao, place him inside a large barrel, stuff that barrel with many swords, throw that barrel at the center of the Hakurei Shrine, and let the Touhou girls teach that youkai how to treat the ladies! He's a pervert, a bastard, he stole Kasen's first kiss, he fondled Kotohime... Some would say he deserves a medal, and I would have too, but then he crossed the line after stealing that kiss, and then PASSING A DAMNED BLADE THROUGH KASEN'S CHEST! Not only that, but he and Chie caused that poor hermit to lose her temper... Oh dear.
Heh, you have made Seiga into one of my favorite Touhou girls now. Seriously, though her participation was limited, it was a jewel that shines brighter each time, especially at the end. She came in at just the right time. She'll bring Kasen back, I'm sure. Oh, and good save on the hair buns. Let's not reveal things in fan fictions that have not yet been revealed in the canon stories. But then, Seiga knows about this. To her, the 4th wall is NOTHING! I laughed hard at how she owned that poor Koishi. Seriously, that was EVIL. I loved it! Oh, and that Sano... Yup, he's the man! Lolis are cute, I cannot deny that, but, like him, I think REAL women are much better. Oh yes! Wait, that reminds me. Hsiao converted from a lolicon to something more manly there, thanks to Kasen. WTF? And speaking of pervertedness, Marisa's a shotacon after all! Hah, she liked that perverted kid's mouth. What a pervert XD!
By the way, on Seiga's and Kasen's second encounter (after the dream, and I think during it too) you named "Kasen" when you were referring to "Seiga". A bit confusing, but hey, I was also distracted at the time, imagining that elder hermit in black boyshorts, and that rose cutie wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. GLORY BE, WONDERFUL FANSERVICE!
10/3/2011 c5 5All-Knowing-Frog
Excellent work. Love your take on Marisa, and pretty much all the characters for that matter, but particularly Marisa. Also, Cirno's... speach patern needs special mention, simply amazing, no other way of putting it.
5All-Knowing-FrogExcellent work. Love your take on Marisa, and pretty much all the characters for that matter, but particularly Marisa. Also, Cirno's... speach patern needs special mention, simply amazing, no other way of putting it.
9/27/2011 c5 Achariyth
Best madcap craziness since John Biles was in his prime. You owe me a night's sleep...
Best madcap craziness since John Biles was in his prime. You owe me a night's sleep...
9/27/2011 c5 27WillieG.R
So many awesome references. Seriously, it is VERY LATE, but I stayed up to read this EVIL AWESOMENESS of a mishap chapter you have written.
There are just too many references here to mention, but you REALLY outdid yourself! It's freaking AWESOME! Suwako was just TOO EVIL to poor Sanae, and I have to wonder what did Remilia and Sanae do while off cameras? And OMG, Tenshi tried fighting dirty and got... Well, that crotch blow was just too much. I winced to that. Oh, and awesome job with Kyouko and Orange. Those two, I swear, should do a manzai!
Ah, I'm am REALLY liking the idea of Dai-chan x Nue. They would look so cute together. Oh, and speaking of pairings, I am suddenly reminded of that wedding at the beginning. I SWEAR I WAS FOOLED! For a moment I thought you were teasing us with that man that fell in love with Satori (whom I was mentally murdering for the though, cuz Satori should marry Aya), then all of a sudden we get sexy Sanae wanting to eat up the mind-reader. Well, at least she got a kiss out of it.
Seriously though, this was so perfectly evil, I laughed and laughed and I'm still smiling. And I must admit, my smile grows when thinking of that hot, HOT grown-up-looking Remilia. So freaking hot, so freaking SEXY! I am envious of possessed Sanae! Seriously, you made me envious of HER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME AGAIN!
That epilogue at the infirmary... Oh yeah, Sakuya just dropped the ball there. Man, that goes beyond an off day. She completely F-D UP! And yes, I also believe Meiling is afraid of needles and pills. I don't blame her. Those things, they are evil. They should not exist at all. We should have better healing methods. *sigh* Anyway, I definitely enjoyed reading this. Your evil arts are worth staying up until 4 AM to read, and now the fairies are pointing at me while laughing at my tiredness. Yup, it's about time to cut this, so, AWESOME job there Captain!
27WillieG.RSo many awesome references. Seriously, it is VERY LATE, but I stayed up to read this EVIL AWESOMENESS of a mishap chapter you have written.
There are just too many references here to mention, but you REALLY outdid yourself! It's freaking AWESOME! Suwako was just TOO EVIL to poor Sanae, and I have to wonder what did Remilia and Sanae do while off cameras? And OMG, Tenshi tried fighting dirty and got... Well, that crotch blow was just too much. I winced to that. Oh, and awesome job with Kyouko and Orange. Those two, I swear, should do a manzai!
Ah, I'm am REALLY liking the idea of Dai-chan x Nue. They would look so cute together. Oh, and speaking of pairings, I am suddenly reminded of that wedding at the beginning. I SWEAR I WAS FOOLED! For a moment I thought you were teasing us with that man that fell in love with Satori (whom I was mentally murdering for the though, cuz Satori should marry Aya), then all of a sudden we get sexy Sanae wanting to eat up the mind-reader. Well, at least she got a kiss out of it.
Seriously though, this was so perfectly evil, I laughed and laughed and I'm still smiling. And I must admit, my smile grows when thinking of that hot, HOT grown-up-looking Remilia. So freaking hot, so freaking SEXY! I am envious of possessed Sanae! Seriously, you made me envious of HER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME AGAIN!
That epilogue at the infirmary... Oh yeah, Sakuya just dropped the ball there. Man, that goes beyond an off day. She completely F-D UP! And yes, I also believe Meiling is afraid of needles and pills. I don't blame her. Those things, they are evil. They should not exist at all. We should have better healing methods. *sigh* Anyway, I definitely enjoyed reading this. Your evil arts are worth staying up until 4 AM to read, and now the fairies are pointing at me while laughing at my tiredness. Yup, it's about time to cut this, so, AWESOME job there Captain!
8/20/2011 c4 NOT Mephiles666
For some reason, the OC meeting so many people and everyone being so open to her didn't feel right to me.
In terms of spelling and grammar, there were periodic words missing, sometimes in whole sets.
All in all, I found this chapter entertaining and anticipate the next chapter.
For some reason, the OC meeting so many people and everyone being so open to her didn't feel right to me.
In terms of spelling and grammar, there were periodic words missing, sometimes in whole sets.
All in all, I found this chapter entertaining and anticipate the next chapter.