for When the Heart of the Cards Starts Beating12/10/2012 c2 mysterydude123
U HAS TO UPDATE THIS! it is a really well layed out story AND DA SUSPENSE IS KILLIN ME if you do not update it can I have it?
U HAS TO UPDATE THIS! it is a really well layed out story AND DA SUSPENSE IS KILLIN ME if you do not update it can I have it?
11/4/2012 c2 Undead Assassin
Interesting... it seems to me that you've improved from the first chapter and I really want to see more of this story, so keep it up. That, and I want to see how the Heart of the Cards ties into what just happened.
Interesting... it seems to me that you've improved from the first chapter and I really want to see more of this story, so keep it up. That, and I want to see how the Heart of the Cards ties into what just happened.
12/31/2011 c2 Vorce Raider
This is turning out to be one great story. I hope the next chapter is posted soon.
This is turning out to be one great story. I hope the next chapter is posted soon.
12/30/2011 c2 Blakroze
You do know how to make someone make excited for the next chapter! Can't wait for the next chapter!
You do know how to make someone make excited for the next chapter! Can't wait for the next chapter!
12/30/2011 c2 
3AspieWriter
Anothere great chapter, you have a real talent for this. I love these kinds of stories and can't wait for the next chapter. Please say you will write again.
May your soul remain in your heart,
AspieWriter
3AspieWriterAnothere great chapter, you have a real talent for this. I love these kinds of stories and can't wait for the next chapter. Please say you will write again.
May your soul remain in your heart,
AspieWriter
12/29/2011 c1 Vorce Raider24
A really good start I'm looking forward to reading the rest
A really good start I'm looking forward to reading the rest
5/28/2011 c1 Ray
Nice!
Nice!
5/15/2011 c1 SJD
why only jay i would love it if others had super cool powers
why only jay i would love it if others had super cool powers
5/14/2011 c1 274Higuchimon
1: it's SYRUS not CYRUS.
2: They wouldn't *CARE* about "rooting" for someone. They'd just want to see an awesome duel.
3: If you're going to write a duel, then please, make sure it fits the characters that you're writing about. Ryou doesn't *have* any spell cards that would negate all traps for a turn.
4: Manjoume, even at this point, is a stellar duelist. He's not going to brainlessly forget what his cards can do. If he had a card that could stop an attack, like Attack Nullification, he'd set it.
5: Juudai has seen other duelists' cards from the stands before. It's not that impressive. Not to mention, he does have powers others don't: the power of the Gentle Darkness, the source of all life. He just doesn't know it in season one.
You have a basic grasp of storytelling, but you need to polish it a lot, and get a better grasp of the characters that you're writing and the world that they live in.
274Higuchimon1: it's SYRUS not CYRUS.
2: They wouldn't *CARE* about "rooting" for someone. They'd just want to see an awesome duel.
3: If you're going to write a duel, then please, make sure it fits the characters that you're writing about. Ryou doesn't *have* any spell cards that would negate all traps for a turn.
4: Manjoume, even at this point, is a stellar duelist. He's not going to brainlessly forget what his cards can do. If he had a card that could stop an attack, like Attack Nullification, he'd set it.
5: Juudai has seen other duelists' cards from the stands before. It's not that impressive. Not to mention, he does have powers others don't: the power of the Gentle Darkness, the source of all life. He just doesn't know it in season one.
You have a basic grasp of storytelling, but you need to polish it a lot, and get a better grasp of the characters that you're writing and the world that they live in.
5/13/2011 c1 9ScarletLycrois
Intresting start... I like it!
No Jay don't kill the author! We need another chapter!
9ScarletLycroisIntresting start... I like it!
No Jay don't kill the author! We need another chapter!