for Lily's Changes5/17 c26 
6jjslll54
Very good story. I think this may have been the third time I have read it. Don't remember if I reviewed this before but would like to point out the only spelling error I noticed during reading and that is you use of the word "off" instead of "of". In case you are not a native English speaker I will give examples of correct usage.
He turned the light "off"
That is all she could think "of"
He was ticked "off" ,meaning he was upset
she was "of" the opinion he wasn't very smart.
Other than that minor issue, you are an excellent writer and I hope to read more of your work.
jjslll54
6jjslll54Very good story. I think this may have been the third time I have read it. Don't remember if I reviewed this before but would like to point out the only spelling error I noticed during reading and that is you use of the word "off" instead of "of". In case you are not a native English speaker I will give examples of correct usage.
He turned the light "off"
That is all she could think "of"
He was ticked "off" ,meaning he was upset
she was "of" the opinion he wasn't very smart.
Other than that minor issue, you are an excellent writer and I hope to read more of your work.
jjslll54
5/15 c26 2Angeline G. McFellou
kkkkkkkkk This ending was the best.
DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE END HE JUST DATING THE TWO.
Cara loved even your fic, it was very well written and very entertaining.
Congratulations and remains ever so please.
Kiss.
2Angeline G. McFelloukkkkkkkkk This ending was the best.
DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE END HE JUST DATING THE TWO.
Cara loved even your fic, it was very well written and very entertaining.
Congratulations and remains ever so please.
Kiss.
5/9 c3 TheUsualCrime
Oh for the love of god. Okay, not to harsh on your entitled fanbrat kick here, but SOMEWHERE in this whiny "Deathly Hallows SUXX0rz" screed of yours you could've at least plagiarized a line or two of Lily's from the books to PRETEND you'd made an attempt to characterize Lily Evans Potter here. Even ventriloquists make the half-assed effort to look as though it's the dummy on their laps that is really speaking, not them.
I'm sorry, but even for meta-fic it should not be this blatantly transparent that Lily is your mouthpiece. Whatever issues you had with the plot or characters of the HP books, either find a goddamn soapbox or bitch about it in your blog, but it does NOT belong in f*cking fic, and if you can't manage to put up even the vague attempt at characterization and a fourth wall that Sesame Street actors pull off with their hand puppets, you shouldn't be writing stories, end of.
People don't click on a fanfic advertised as "Harry meets Lily instead of Dumbledore at King's Cross" to read your poorly-researched 30-page dissertation on "All the Ways I Would Have Written Deathly Hallows Better" (which itself is laughable; whatever you think of Dumbledore or Harry or whomever, they at least demonstrate that Rowling passed the characterization portion of her 3rd grade writing class, which you don't seem to have done). They click expecting to read about a somewhat recognizable Lily and Harry FROM THE BOOKS meeting at King's Cross.
There's also the issue that most of your (not Lily's, btw, it's insanely obvious they're yours and yours alone with ZERO thought spared to considering how Lily Potter might see things) opinions are just wrong and display a scary lack of reading comprehension, but that's honestly minor compared to every other problem portrayed in this fic. The premise was something I really thought could be interesting, but I couldn't make it past the third chapter, which says so much. So lame.
Oh for the love of god. Okay, not to harsh on your entitled fanbrat kick here, but SOMEWHERE in this whiny "Deathly Hallows SUXX0rz" screed of yours you could've at least plagiarized a line or two of Lily's from the books to PRETEND you'd made an attempt to characterize Lily Evans Potter here. Even ventriloquists make the half-assed effort to look as though it's the dummy on their laps that is really speaking, not them.
I'm sorry, but even for meta-fic it should not be this blatantly transparent that Lily is your mouthpiece. Whatever issues you had with the plot or characters of the HP books, either find a goddamn soapbox or bitch about it in your blog, but it does NOT belong in f*cking fic, and if you can't manage to put up even the vague attempt at characterization and a fourth wall that Sesame Street actors pull off with their hand puppets, you shouldn't be writing stories, end of.
People don't click on a fanfic advertised as "Harry meets Lily instead of Dumbledore at King's Cross" to read your poorly-researched 30-page dissertation on "All the Ways I Would Have Written Deathly Hallows Better" (which itself is laughable; whatever you think of Dumbledore or Harry or whomever, they at least demonstrate that Rowling passed the characterization portion of her 3rd grade writing class, which you don't seem to have done). They click expecting to read about a somewhat recognizable Lily and Harry FROM THE BOOKS meeting at King's Cross.
There's also the issue that most of your (not Lily's, btw, it's insanely obvious they're yours and yours alone with ZERO thought spared to considering how Lily Potter might see things) opinions are just wrong and display a scary lack of reading comprehension, but that's honestly minor compared to every other problem portrayed in this fic. The premise was something I really thought could be interesting, but I couldn't make it past the third chapter, which says so much. So lame.
5/3 c18 10Phoenix122333
Correct me if I'm wrong, but since children enter Hogwarts only iafter/i their eleventh birthdays, wouldn't only the students in their seventh year be counted as adults at 17 years of age? And that would only be if they had their birthdays in the summer. If they had their birthdays in the school year, at least some of them would be sixteen at the time of the endangerment (the start of the school year). By this logic, only around half of the seventh year would be considered adults. 1000 students divided by 7 years is around 143, and 143 times 6.5 is 929.5
...Thought you ought to know *faints*
10Phoenix122333Correct me if I'm wrong, but since children enter Hogwarts only iafter/i their eleventh birthdays, wouldn't only the students in their seventh year be counted as adults at 17 years of age? And that would only be if they had their birthdays in the summer. If they had their birthdays in the school year, at least some of them would be sixteen at the time of the endangerment (the start of the school year). By this logic, only around half of the seventh year would be considered adults. 1000 students divided by 7 years is around 143, and 143 times 6.5 is 929.5
...Thought you ought to know *faints*
4/28 c6 improvedpeanut
I love the fact that they can't look mean and angry, its just soooooo funny! Great story!
I love the fact that they can't look mean and angry, its just soooooo funny! Great story!
4/26 c1 malistaire
I like how you displayed Lily is very caring for those who she loves,yet very cunning and like Slughorn described her in the sixth she hadnt been muggleborn and if the Slytherins hadnt been mindless thugs (because of Voldemorts presence)she would have definitely benn sorted in Slytherin.
I like how you displayed Lily is very caring for those who she loves,yet very cunning and like Slughorn described her in the sixth she hadnt been muggleborn and if the Slytherins hadnt been mindless thugs (because of Voldemorts presence)she would have definitely benn sorted in Slytherin.