for Gentrification, or How Not To Be A Sow's Ear4/3 c1 Raylis
I read this awhile back, and remembered I forgot to review! (I didn't have an account back then...but that's no excuse is it?) This was so funny! And one of the first...if not THE first...was it the first(?)...DA fanfiction I ever read. So thanks for the laughs and the fantastic writing, story, and possibly introduction into the world of fenris/hawke fanfiction! :D
I read this awhile back, and remembered I forgot to review! (I didn't have an account back then...but that's no excuse is it?) This was so funny! And one of the first...if not THE first...was it the first(?)...DA fanfiction I ever read. So thanks for the laughs and the fantastic writing, story, and possibly introduction into the world of fenris/hawke fanfiction! :D
3/2 c8 elemout
So much tension here! But just a note I didn't mind the AU, it was quite nice actually.
Of course, the shoes had to be from Fenris. Why can't elves just explain their odd courting customs?
Merrill is so funny and a little oddball (she reminds me of Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter but Merrill has a scary mirror).
That creepy corpse, ""We can't. How will I know how you're feeling, what you're thinking after our next inevitable falling out?"" - Yes, Hawke it would be more fun to ask him. Think with a dirty mind and you'll figure it out.
Very sweet ending, can't wait to read the epilogue!
So much tension here! But just a note I didn't mind the AU, it was quite nice actually.
Of course, the shoes had to be from Fenris. Why can't elves just explain their odd courting customs?
Merrill is so funny and a little oddball (she reminds me of Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter but Merrill has a scary mirror).
That creepy corpse, ""We can't. How will I know how you're feeling, what you're thinking after our next inevitable falling out?"" - Yes, Hawke it would be more fun to ask him. Think with a dirty mind and you'll figure it out.
Very sweet ending, can't wait to read the epilogue!
3/2 c7 elemout
I enjoyed the banter between Isabel and Aveline, hard to imagine how more opposite they can get (Aveline reminds me of Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones). At first I thought the opening was a battle scene but was nicely surprised to see it was a very different kind of battle.
OMG, that kiss. Loved it and swoon!
To be honest, her anger at his kiss seemed a bit overdone since she thought a simple apology would do.
Still, can't wait until they stop being such prats (and also a part of me wondered if they could have a stable relationship since they do seem to enjoy stabbing each other metaphorically at the very least).
I enjoyed the banter between Isabel and Aveline, hard to imagine how more opposite they can get (Aveline reminds me of Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones). At first I thought the opening was a battle scene but was nicely surprised to see it was a very different kind of battle.
OMG, that kiss. Loved it and swoon!
To be honest, her anger at his kiss seemed a bit overdone since she thought a simple apology would do.
Still, can't wait until they stop being such prats (and also a part of me wondered if they could have a stable relationship since they do seem to enjoy stabbing each other metaphorically at the very least).
3/2 c6 elemout
Ok, Anders must have the strangest patients, or was this Isabela, "'a potato was on the chair and I happened to have no clothes on when I sat down?'""
That lock of white hair could be used to clone him so she can have an obedient Fenris (Alright that was my dark side speaking, nothing can replace Broody).
It was really horrible of Hawke to kiss him and then make it seem like she was just playing him but I loved that kiss because of how lovely your description of his reaction to it was.
Ok, Anders must have the strangest patients, or was this Isabela, "'a potato was on the chair and I happened to have no clothes on when I sat down?'""
That lock of white hair could be used to clone him so she can have an obedient Fenris (Alright that was my dark side speaking, nothing can replace Broody).
It was really horrible of Hawke to kiss him and then make it seem like she was just playing him but I loved that kiss because of how lovely your description of his reaction to it was.
3/2 c5 elemout
I love how well you capture the character's voices. For example Merrill's lack of irony at being asked if she is lost. And ooooh Merrill's crush on Fenris, so cute.
This was one of my favorite lines in this one, ""You just spat on me."" Oh, poor Bethany. You're so much more charming than Carver (yes I forgot his name earlier, sorry for that stupid comment).
Stalked Fenris is so adorable. And Hawke kills me when she says, ""Funny, I've thought the same thing about you many times"
Brilliant!
I love how well you capture the character's voices. For example Merrill's lack of irony at being asked if she is lost. And ooooh Merrill's crush on Fenris, so cute.
This was one of my favorite lines in this one, ""You just spat on me."" Oh, poor Bethany. You're so much more charming than Carver (yes I forgot his name earlier, sorry for that stupid comment).
Stalked Fenris is so adorable. And Hawke kills me when she says, ""Funny, I've thought the same thing about you many times"
Brilliant!
3/2 c4 elemout
Oh, Isabel you really are terrible. Does she ship Hawke with Anders? She certainly seems to be hinting at it.
"Or possibly reverse depending on tall, white and sulky's mood." - Didn't quite get this esp. since Fenris's hair is white and his skin is a tan\golden color (although jokes about his hair are fair play for Hawke).
There are a lot of great one-liners, I particularly enjoyed this one, ""I'd be more worried about your person if I were you. Plenty of space for knee movements here.""
And I loved the dance innuendo.
Finally, poor Fenris. I do hope the corpse is charmed with some stasis or anti-rot spell. He does need to learn how to express himself better.
Oh, Isabel you really are terrible. Does she ship Hawke with Anders? She certainly seems to be hinting at it.
"Or possibly reverse depending on tall, white and sulky's mood." - Didn't quite get this esp. since Fenris's hair is white and his skin is a tan\golden color (although jokes about his hair are fair play for Hawke).
There are a lot of great one-liners, I particularly enjoyed this one, ""I'd be more worried about your person if I were you. Plenty of space for knee movements here.""
And I loved the dance innuendo.
Finally, poor Fenris. I do hope the corpse is charmed with some stasis or anti-rot spell. He does need to learn how to express himself better.
3/2 c3 elemout
The conversation where Hawke is a Lord and Fenris a Lady was so hilarious and sharply written. They really maim each other thoroughly although I feel that Fenris got the short end of the stick.
The only thing I noticed was that your had Carver instead of Carter.
And of course, "noting with surprise that at some point during the day he had arranged the corpse with head bowed and a hand across its eyes as if in shame." - this killed me. That he uses a corpse to say what he wants to say.
I
really enjoyed the jolly banter between Hawke and Isabel and how you changed to Ander's pov by the end. I think he was a decent second choice after Fenris (minus the fact that Anders became a terrorist at some point).
The conversation where Hawke is a Lord and Fenris a Lady was so hilarious and sharply written. They really maim each other thoroughly although I feel that Fenris got the short end of the stick.
The only thing I noticed was that your had Carver instead of Carter.
And of course, "noting with surprise that at some point during the day he had arranged the corpse with head bowed and a hand across its eyes as if in shame." - this killed me. That he uses a corpse to say what he wants to say.
I
really enjoyed the jolly banter between Hawke and Isabel and how you changed to Ander's pov by the end. I think he was a decent second choice after Fenris (minus the fact that Anders became a terrorist at some point).
3/2 c2 elemout
Oh, Fenris you show your hand by being so jealous of Anders.
Also, the corpses - seriously? I wonder about the stench and the rot and the general abysmal nature of that arrangement.
This was so funny, ""What with being made of the blood and tears of Tevinter slaves and all."
Oh and of course, "Broody" - perfect nickname for him.
Oh and I looked up Aveline and was horrified by not remembering her name because it didn't quite go with her personality.
Oh, Fenris you show your hand by being so jealous of Anders.
Also, the corpses - seriously? I wonder about the stench and the rot and the general abysmal nature of that arrangement.
This was so funny, ""What with being made of the blood and tears of Tevinter slaves and all."
Oh and of course, "Broody" - perfect nickname for him.
Oh and I looked up Aveline and was horrified by not remembering her name because it didn't quite go with her personality.
3/2 c1 elemout
After reading your first Hawke\Fenris story I had to read this one. Right off to a great start with angry Hawke and that innocent joke. I always play Mage and am pro-Mage so I had a hell lot of trouble trying to get Fenris to like me until I figured out to leave him home (but what about all the brooding I was missing). I do like how you have all the party characters chiming in with their distinct voices (Isabela can't help it, she's a female Jack Sparrow) although I forgot who Aveline was.
After reading your first Hawke\Fenris story I had to read this one. Right off to a great start with angry Hawke and that innocent joke. I always play Mage and am pro-Mage so I had a hell lot of trouble trying to get Fenris to like me until I figured out to leave him home (but what about all the brooding I was missing). I do like how you have all the party characters chiming in with their distinct voices (Isabela can't help it, she's a female Jack Sparrow) although I forgot who Aveline was.
1/10 c2 Guest
You know, Merrill just got a lot more scarier.
You know, Merrill just got a lot more scarier.
111/3 c3 Decidedly Odd
The dialogue here is excellent, and the fight between Fenris and Hawke had me laughing into my pillow :)
The dialogue here is excellent, and the fight between Fenris and Hawke had me laughing into my pillow :)
12/31/2012 c3 Moghedia
Is it wierd that I am really starting to enjoy their messing about with the corpse? :D
Is it wierd that I am really starting to enjoy their messing about with the corpse? :D
8/9/2012 c2 GlysMari
"I can make things fall off with my brain."... Maker, it feels good to laugh again.
"I can make things fall off with my brain."... Maker, it feels good to laugh again.