6/22/2011 c1 Doubleplusgoodduckspeaker
Gosh, this was great. I just finished it and stared at the monitor for a few minutes just /thinking/ ...you connected really powerfully with us, and I'm so glad you did, even though this story is heartwrenching for all the characters.

I especially like how you balance Jounouchi and Mai's different points of view-we know what they're both thinking but they don't know, so things just don't come across the right way, and gah! I just want to go find my blanket and curl up or something =)

You know, this is one of the rare exceptions where I actually don't want 'more' from a story... usually I want to know every little detail about the universe of the story (probably since you're building off of your Conflict, this helped-and that was a brilliant idea!), but I think you revealed a lot as we read, that by the end, all I can do is just feel for them!

So this was great! We can definitely feel the effort that you put into this, and it was a really great story to read. Thank you for writing this!

6/21/2011 c1 My Misguided Fairytale
Oh, I liked this. First off, I think your title is perfect for this story, it really fits the themes and the overall tone of the piece. It took me awhile to really get into the story, but around this line ("She loved him so much and he was breaking her heart." - one of my favorites) the story really started to 'click' for me. You do a fantastic job of tapping into the emotions of the characters, it's very believable to me and you wrote it well. You showed that something as seemingly simple as a breakup is actually quite complex and deep, and I like that you built off of your Conflict, it made for some nice...conflict. xD

Good job on this, and keep up the good work! =)

~Jess (My Misguided Fairytale)

6/20/2011 c1 47yllimilly
I really like that you wrote this and brought some sort of closure (for now, at least) to your powerful yet unfinished conflict. I think Mai and Joey are both extremely IC - Mai's oblivious, backstabbing selfishness is brilliant, and Joey' straightforward approach to life and love are just what we'd expect from him as a young person on the threshold of teenagehood and adulthood.

The 'baby' line isn't something we're used from seeing in fics that deify the golden hearted Joey, but really if he existed in real life, this is exactly the sort of thing he'd do, and you're genius for thinking about it.

Best of luck, and I'm looking forward to read your tier 2 fic already,

Milly

6/18/2011 c1 33Jonouchi Katsuya
I had a difficult time reading and understanding the dialogue at the beginning but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. As I kept reading the entire situation was revealed to me in a 3D fashion.

There was one part that rang all too true for me. Like... I have had this conversation:

"She spoke before she thought. "So now our time together was a waste of time?"

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. Stop making me out to be the jerk here. I'm not being a jerk. I'm telling you how I feel and I'm not gonna let you turn this shit back on me, Mai!""

It really hit close to home. Very good. The realism there was good. In fact... I have totally had this argument with my boyfriend... who I am still with. LOL. Your listening skills must be top notch. Or... you have broken up an awful lot to know what people do. I could identify with every bit of this fic.

I think the end of this fic needs some cleaning up and possibly the beginning. I think the end could have been a bit stronger.