7/8/2012 c21 1nothing like laughter
You should definitely redo this story! I love it soo much!

7/26/2011 c19 LivinLaughinLovin4ever
Awww, I'm gonna miss seeing these updates! I understand, though, and can't wait for you to start again. Until next time=)

7/24/2011 c18 TeginaMay
Have to agree there are a few 'holes' in this story. But it's ok, go around it and explain. If you do a new story... I have to wait... And wait... And wait... For more updates until I can finally have my Rachel/Luke/May bliss..

7/24/2011 c18 Kystalicmetal
LEAVE THE STORY AS IT IS and go around it! I love this story! Please don't leave :'{

7/23/2011 c18 5DiscoLemonadeDiva
I've been really bad at reviewing. *Looks at feet* I've been busy and only just managed to fully catch up with this story. :)

As far as thoughts go, pretty much the only really annoying holes that I would advise fixing/revising for plausibility issues, mostly center around Rachel, May, and Luke.

1. I really don't understand why they are both making stupid excuses as to why they can't be a family. It seems strange that even though Luke was outside of the camp in the beginning of the story, so he can meet Rachel, that he can't leave the camp now that Rachel has May, especially sense now there would be more of an incentive.I can understand maybe there being a plot relevant reason for their separation, and if so, I'd advise providing a legitimate reason why they can't see each other. It just sort of seems like they make excuses and don't try hard enough, something that is very at odds with how they talk about and defend their relationship to others.

I think it would be interesting if maybe Luke is kidnapped or something, as this would be a way to solidify the separation in a way that doesn't lessen the relationship between Luke and Rachel. Another idea that could give a legitimate reason for a separation would be if an angry demon or warlock placed a curse/spell on the camp that prevented those inside from leaving. This would incorporate Charmed, as they break the curse, and PJO with Glee while also preventing Luke and Rachel apart while May grows up.

2. I'm not sure why Rachel is struggling to financial support herself and May. In previous chapters, Shelby and the charmed ones serve as a support system, so I find this to be unnecessary and ridiculous.

3. As far as the Charmed portion goes, I do think that it is interesting to have all three of the different shows/book blended together. I might advise that you do incorporate more of the Charmed Ones mythos and problems into this story if you are going to use them though, because witches are often attacked, especially powerful ones. Rachel, though I'm not sure how powerful of a witch she is, is a combination of a demi-god and a witch, so I'd assume that she would be attacked by demons.

I think a storyline that incorporated Charmed more fully into this crossover, something similar to the inclusion of the Percy Jackson and co in the last few chapters, would be interesting and relevant. Cause, I do find the charmed ones interesting, especially in the context of this story, it just seems irrelevant at this point because it hasn't really been used to it's full potential. The charmed ones, and charmed, was brought in like ten chapters ago but have been primarily forgotten. Along with the curse possibility, another way to incorporate them would be to further develop Blaine's background, similar to how everything with Chris went about. I do enjoy the mystery towards the beginning, but I do think that you do need to explore that, because the reader is teased with the promise of his story line, but it's never quite realized in the way that it could be.

4. I can't quite remember what powers, if any, Rachel really had, but you should definitely develop them, as it is weird that as a witch and demigod such as Rachel has none, or at least none that are memorable. I also think the Glee club members powers should be explored, or else just cut them. You bring over like half of the Glee club to the PJO world as demigods, but then you don't really do anything with them, so it seems pointless to have those characters as demigods if they aren't going to be relevant they might as well just be humans.

I do really like the idea of unclaimed campers, especially with the Glee club, and I really hope that you explore that more. Especially with Rachel, because I think that that could be an interesting plot point to develop. With Rachel and the other unclaimed's developing their demigod, and witch in Rachel's case, powers and trying to figure out where they belong. I think that being unclaimed, really works towards the concept and themes in Glee itself, with very few of the characters fitting in with the rest. Which is why I like Quinn, Finn, and Santana (if my memory is serving me correctly) as the people who are claimed by gods. They are pretty much the normals in the Glee group, so I love that they assimilate fairly easy, and are claimed, because it seems very true to their characters. I do think that it would be more interesting for Kurt to struggle to find where he belongs, and start out unclaimed. Because I think that the way that the original Glee members struggle to fit in is something that is extremely interesting. The fact that most of the Glee club members are unclaimed is perfect for Glee, in that they are outcasts amongst outcasts.

5. Final point is that I think in limiting this story to primarily just Rachel and Luke you waste a lot of the potential. In mainly focusing on their relationship, I think that there are a lot of plot lines that are wasted and dumped. Something that I think leads to some of the plot hole issues that you are having. This is not to say I don't like the Rachel/Luke center, cause I love Rachel and her relationship with Luke, I just feel as though you introduce stuff that I want to know more about but that Rachel and Luke aren't privileged to. Especially in regards to Blaine and the glimpses of the future that he brings to the table.

I really think a story line from Blaine's perspective, with Flashbacks/flash forwards to the future would be really interesting. I like the realization of what he prophesies, as it is a really nice dynamic, with Blaine gossiping about the events that are unfolding in the present and providing insight to the future plot and characters. In contrast to the general "this is what will happen" tone to the events Blaine foresees, it would be nice to have scenes from the future play out as a nice parallel, where the cataclysmic events are shown, because if Blaine is successful, they will have not have happened at all. So showing the bleak future through Blaine would be an interesting way to raise the stakes and suspense as far as the characters futures.

I think that this story would be greatly approved upon by choosing maybe five or six main characters to focus on, Rachel and Luke definitely being two of those characters, that way it would make it so that the plot points you introduce would still be relevant, important and in the minds of the reader even though they don't really impact Rachel or Luke in the current story. I do love the brief interludes that the characters have, but I think that if maybe, Santana, Blaine, Finn, and Kurt or really any combination, became permanent fixtures, with more consistent narration and POV that it would keep those plot points active while also maintaining reader interest and help to build suspense and momentum for the story.

So basically, cause I realize this is the longest thing ever and filled with my ramblings, IN SUMMATION, I think that as far as the separation goes, Luke and the other Glee club members should be stuck in Camp Halfblood, while Rachel, Shelby, and the charmed ones raise Ginny/May and struggle to try and lift the curse and free Luke and the other campers from the confines of the camp. This would allow a focus to be placed on two separate storylines, with Rachel and Charmed being one, and Luke (PJO) and Glee, with them eventually coming together towards the ending of the story. Rachel, distraught, could encounter Charmed shenanigans like Demons and Warlocks while her and the charmed ones try frantically and break the curse so that Rachel can reunite with Luke and help him see their daughter. The other storyline would involve Luke struggling over the separation as he mentors the Glee club members in a way to feel closer to Rachel. This could allow for some other perspectives, such as Kurt and Santana, as they grow their powers and develop in Camp Half blood without Rachel and without their own families.

Those are my thoughts. All of them. LOL. ;)

7/22/2011 c17 5LadySonics
I just marathon read through all 17 chapters. Good story - it has a few holes in the plot that don't make sense but otherwise pretty good, Hope you update before the end of the month.

I'm going to list a few.

It is kind of depressing with the Rachel and Luke romance? Seriously, Rachel can orb to the camp anytime - maybe spending time with Luke would have saved him from siding with the titans. Really sad. This is a little turn off for readers and many most likely have abandoned the story halfway through it.

I'm going to take a guess and say that Rachel's secret dad is Apollo...really Apollo is the GOD of MUSIC, medicine, arts, archery and such. Luke and the other campers agreed that Rachel is the best singer and there is NO WAY she can outshine the kids of Apollo unless she was a kid of Apollo herself. And I thought it was a little unrealistic that the kids of Apollo didn't want to help out with the music in the party/prom several chapters back - seriously music is in their blood, they wouldn't have turned that down.

Now on to a few puzzles I have...

Finn would make a much better son of Ares (Quick to anger, no finese in any of his moves, moody and dimwitted). Kids of Hermes are pranksters, fun, devious, free spirited, fast, quick witted and probably the best theives on the planet (Imagine a kid being able to break in an steal anything from the Pentagon, whitehouse, Kremlin, etc). Really Finn's character doesn't fit with being a kid of Hermes.

Mike would be better off being in Aphrodite's or Athena's cabin. Seriously, you put the only glee kid that can't sing in the music cabin?

Quinn would be better off as a Athena kid. She's intelligent, cunning, quick witted with comebacks and such. She hides her thoughts and emotions too much to be a kid in the love cabin and she doesn't avoid conflict, she starts them! Look at her years at Mckinley as an example.

Kurt is also a puzzle. I would have taken him as an Demeter kid myself. He emotionally connects to people too deeply and spiritly to be in the "use them and drop them" cabin. I would have put him as a mother earth kid who loves flowers, fresh cut grass and the rich feeling in the air. He's not shallow like any other the kids in the aphrodite cabin..

And than to the recent quest...

Why not have Rachel just orb the kids directly in and out of the underworld? Instead of the kids searching for the orb beads. Rachel is a witch, a witch's spirit would want to help aid the kids in their Quest. For a three way fusion, your leaning to much on the Demigods side and not on the charmed side.

And is Rachel really a demigod? A demigod is half god and half mortal. If Rachel is a whitelighter she isn't mortal. The rule that Zeus has for the other gods is "they are not allowed to show favor to their own halfbloods," that rule wouldn't apply to Rachel since she isn't mortal and would either be considered an immortal or a minor god. That rule was in place for the gods to lessen the pain of losing a child to death so he limits attachments and favorites.

I'm looking forward to more direction in the story - L Sonics

7/17/2011 c17 Nananaxoxo
Update soon :))) love it!