for Fairy Blade5/28/2012 c3 
3nekokuro13
You can't thing of anything to say? Ehehen.
Someone with parasol? Kogasa? Nah, so it's either Yukari or Yuuka! Or an OC. :P
'"You are, silly."' - Youmu, why are tricks always on you?
Uh... didn't expect that ending. Ending or cliffhanger?
3nekokuro13You can't thing of anything to say? Ehehen.
Someone with parasol? Kogasa? Nah, so it's either Yukari or Yuuka! Or an OC. :P
'"You are, silly."' - Youmu, why are tricks always on you?
Uh... didn't expect that ending. Ending or cliffhanger?
5/28/2012 c2 nekokuro13
'...home to the only known vampire in Gensokyo...' - um, vampires? There are two. And there are other vampires, if I'm not mistaken, in the PC-98 era, ah, who am I kidding. I'm not a canon Nazi. On to reading!
'"S-Sh-She was he-helping that girl who a-a-ate me!"' - XD
Ahahaha... Wriggle, a boy? Tellme you're being sarcastic. Ahem. but overall, this battle's even better than last chapter's.
'"...good men are hard to come by in Gensokyo."'- yep, cause ZUN only focused on female characters. That's Youmu poking at the 4th wall, right?
'"Honestly, you start one Incident and then you're marked for life."' - Youmu: Hey, I started an incident too!
Wow, Youki? Can't say i'm not apprehensive. Good job suggesting that he may've met Chi-uh, I mean, Meiling before.
A better chapter than the last. True, I found 1 or 2 typos, but I'm not here to find them. Cheers.
'...home to the only known vampire in Gensokyo...' - um, vampires? There are two. And there are other vampires, if I'm not mistaken, in the PC-98 era, ah, who am I kidding. I'm not a canon Nazi. On to reading!
'"S-Sh-She was he-helping that girl who a-a-ate me!"' - XD
Ahahaha... Wriggle, a boy? Tellme you're being sarcastic. Ahem. but overall, this battle's even better than last chapter's.
'"...good men are hard to come by in Gensokyo."'- yep, cause ZUN only focused on female characters. That's Youmu poking at the 4th wall, right?
'"Honestly, you start one Incident and then you're marked for life."' - Youmu: Hey, I started an incident too!
Wow, Youki? Can't say i'm not apprehensive. Good job suggesting that he may've met Chi-uh, I mean, Meiling before.
A better chapter than the last. True, I found 1 or 2 typos, but I'm not here to find them. Cheers.
5/28/2012 c1 nekokuro13
Ow. Savage battle there. I would pity the fairies if they're not immortal or something.
''DAYS SINCE THE LAST INCIDENT'.' - lol
Simple but okay battle with Suika just now.
'"Doctors cost money, of which I have none."' - uh, wow. Never thought of that.
There are slight spelling and minor mistakes in here, but all so far, not bad. For a first attempt at Touhou this is a good one. Will check out the next chapter soon. Cheers.
Ow. Savage battle there. I would pity the fairies if they're not immortal or something.
''DAYS SINCE THE LAST INCIDENT'.' - lol
Simple but okay battle with Suika just now.
'"Doctors cost money, of which I have none."' - uh, wow. Never thought of that.
There are slight spelling and minor mistakes in here, but all so far, not bad. For a first attempt at Touhou this is a good one. Will check out the next chapter soon. Cheers.
10/25/2011 c3 1WanWan90
Oh...Goona love the part Youmu got BITTEN by Flandre! Not that I really love it but something new I guess? At least that scene make my day!
1WanWan90Oh...Goona love the part Youmu got BITTEN by Flandre! Not that I really love it but something new I guess? At least that scene make my day!
10/25/2011 c2 WanWan90
Talking about Youki Konpaku. I seriously want to know where have he been all this time. Suddenly to go missing or so they said. Anyway. cool story yo! Keep it coming!
Talking about Youki Konpaku. I seriously want to know where have he been all this time. Suddenly to go missing or so they said. Anyway. cool story yo! Keep it coming!
10/25/2011 c1 WanWan90
Yaaahhh! Finally Youmu going to become the next specialist! Just for this fanfic only! XD Anyway, I would like to see more of this! Keep it up yo! XD
Yaaahhh! Finally Youmu going to become the next specialist! Just for this fanfic only! XD Anyway, I would like to see more of this! Keep it up yo! XD
10/10/2011 c3 15Achariyth1
Whoa, since when did Little Miss Creepy find out where blood came from? Just when she couldn't get scarier. "Thank you for the meal," was a nice touch too.
Evil little fairy. Fits though.
I wonder how Youmu's going to survive. Will Flan take after her sister and be a light eater, or will she get caught up in the moment?
Prose could be a little tighter, but I feel like a hypocrite for pointing it out. It's a bit passive and wordy, not excessively so, but there's room for tuning. And again, I can't help but feel like a hypocrite for saying so.
15Achariyth1Whoa, since when did Little Miss Creepy find out where blood came from? Just when she couldn't get scarier. "Thank you for the meal," was a nice touch too.
Evil little fairy. Fits though.
I wonder how Youmu's going to survive. Will Flan take after her sister and be a light eater, or will she get caught up in the moment?
Prose could be a little tighter, but I feel like a hypocrite for pointing it out. It's a bit passive and wordy, not excessively so, but there's room for tuning. And again, I can't help but feel like a hypocrite for saying so.
9/26/2011 c3 27Captain Vulcan
Hmm. I'm honestly surprised that Youmu lasted this long in her fight against Flandre. Surely, Isadel set her up.
I wonder will Youmu survives this encounter.
27Captain VulcanHmm. I'm honestly surprised that Youmu lasted this long in her fight against Flandre. Surely, Isadel set her up.
I wonder will Youmu survives this encounter.
9/23/2011 c3 27WillieG.R
Ah, what a nice read. Remilia being the little brat she is, Meiling trying to make her see reason, and Flandre... adorably psychotic and frightening. Well done!
I really liked that you used the canon fact about Flandre loving Reimu and not Marisa (as fans think). Though, I like either Flan, to be honest.
That fairy, Isadel, as cute as she is, somehow I feel afraid of her. It's like she's been with Flandre for FAR too long, and has adopted some of that psychotic nature of the vampire. Ah well, will patiently wait to see what sort of fate befell on dear Youmu. Er... unless you just finished the fic? Nah, just kidding XD!
27WillieG.RAh, what a nice read. Remilia being the little brat she is, Meiling trying to make her see reason, and Flandre... adorably psychotic and frightening. Well done!
I really liked that you used the canon fact about Flandre loving Reimu and not Marisa (as fans think). Though, I like either Flan, to be honest.
That fairy, Isadel, as cute as she is, somehow I feel afraid of her. It's like she's been with Flandre for FAR too long, and has adopted some of that psychotic nature of the vampire. Ah well, will patiently wait to see what sort of fate befell on dear Youmu. Er... unless you just finished the fic? Nah, just kidding XD!
9/3/2011 c2 15Achariyth1
I think I'd have started the chapter at the second paragraph. Works better as a hook, and the description in the first paragraph could be sprinkled throughout the section.
And my favorite fairy appears. Nice intro from the firefly as well.
You're lucky I wasn't drinking when I read the "Wriggle as a good man" part.
I like that you didn't write Meiling as an incompetent idiot.
Character interaction was the strong suit of this part. Youmu and Mystia was great, and Youmu and Meiling was intriguing. I did notice a few sentences that slipped past the proofreading, but that happens to us all.
15Achariyth1I think I'd have started the chapter at the second paragraph. Works better as a hook, and the description in the first paragraph could be sprinkled throughout the section.
And my favorite fairy appears. Nice intro from the firefly as well.
You're lucky I wasn't drinking when I read the "Wriggle as a good man" part.
I like that you didn't write Meiling as an incompetent idiot.
Character interaction was the strong suit of this part. Youmu and Mystia was great, and Youmu and Meiling was intriguing. I did notice a few sentences that slipped past the proofreading, but that happens to us all.
9/3/2011 c1 Achariyth1
Well, the beginning could be a little snappier. I like the "over five weeks since..." but I think that hook could have been moved up as it's a better attention grabber than "a beautiful day..." I'd also have tied it into the sign Youmu writes on as well.
Ugh, spell cards and danmaku are such a pain to write into a fight...
Reimu's not had a good night, has she? She's friends with a witch, though, so I'm sure she'd know some home remedies that she'd try before considering a doctore. Whether or not they'd actually work, though...
Youmu seems to be in danger of following Reimu's approach to problem solving: beat up everyone in her path until someone tells her where to go.
All in all, not bad. I know that sounds like I'm damning it with faint praise, but it's pretty decent. I'd try to find a good alpha reader or three, and when you do, could you let me know? I've kinda overworked poor Kerreb...
Well, the beginning could be a little snappier. I like the "over five weeks since..." but I think that hook could have been moved up as it's a better attention grabber than "a beautiful day..." I'd also have tied it into the sign Youmu writes on as well.
Ugh, spell cards and danmaku are such a pain to write into a fight...
Reimu's not had a good night, has she? She's friends with a witch, though, so I'm sure she'd know some home remedies that she'd try before considering a doctore. Whether or not they'd actually work, though...
Youmu seems to be in danger of following Reimu's approach to problem solving: beat up everyone in her path until someone tells her where to go.
All in all, not bad. I know that sounds like I'm damning it with faint praise, but it's pretty decent. I'd try to find a good alpha reader or three, and when you do, could you let me know? I've kinda overworked poor Kerreb...
8/8/2011 c2 27Captain Vulcan
Aw man! I knew Youki was badass! I guess even the oni are aware of his talented swordsmanship. Kinda interesting to see that Meiling knew him in the past. Maybe she taught him a few moves.
And man, you're wrong for mistreating Wriggle! Haha! But it's understandable, I thought she was a boy too once.
27Captain VulcanAw man! I knew Youki was badass! I guess even the oni are aware of his talented swordsmanship. Kinda interesting to see that Meiling knew him in the past. Maybe she taught him a few moves.
And man, you're wrong for mistreating Wriggle! Haha! But it's understandable, I thought she was a boy too once.
8/8/2011 c2 8DeathMasterUsa
Awesome Chapter, Youmu is nice, and its funny to see some one not barge their way into the SDM. Can't wait for the next one.
8DeathMasterUsaAwesome Chapter, Youmu is nice, and its funny to see some one not barge their way into the SDM. Can't wait for the next one.
8/8/2011 c2 NOT Mephiles666
OMG! WRIGLES A GURL U NOOB! *is slapped*
Making the insect youkai male but that not being the primary focus is actually a nice twist, so good job pulling that off.
Again, everything is believable. I liked the way you made Meiling's jobs as the gardener become known without shoving into the reader's face.
No functional errors detected.
I anticipate chapter 3.
OMG! WRIGLES A GURL U NOOB! *is slapped*
Making the insect youkai male but that not being the primary focus is actually a nice twist, so good job pulling that off.
Again, everything is believable. I liked the way you made Meiling's jobs as the gardener become known without shoving into the reader's face.
No functional errors detected.
I anticipate chapter 3.
8/8/2011 c1 NOT Mephiles666
THE FAIRIES ARE REVOLTING!
Okay, so that's probably not the case. But it would be funny.
I didn't see any grammar/spelling errors (or I simply forgot them).
Everything flows/makes sense in terms of how the characters are in canon.
I'm liking the story so far.
THE FAIRIES ARE REVOLTING!
Okay, so that's probably not the case. But it would be funny.
I didn't see any grammar/spelling errors (or I simply forgot them).
Everything flows/makes sense in terms of how the characters are in canon.
I'm liking the story so far.