for Pretty Saro7/13/2011 c1 pokingbuddy10
Wowza - that was hot. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this. It had a really fun suspenseful vibe to it. And when you snuck in those sing-songy rhymes, it made me think of Tragedy of Errors. It's very impressive how you manage that and it's really fun to read.
Lila as a vixen, temptress - it's been done before, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Something about her is just asking for it, and you pulled it off really well.
Arnold - recently, I stumbled upon "His Wedding Ring" and so, I could totally see this happening. You want to believe in the persevering good in Arnold, but something about the dark side in him that appeals to Helga ... kind of appeals to us too, hm? haha.
I agree with the other reviewer, SetRobOff, Helga was perfect. I don't know if it was your intention or not, if I read too much into little details too much, but I definitely felt like you showed her many facets. I saw her as more hurt, by the adultery, the way she sounded so sad when Arnold brushed her off and the ending where she though of her kids. But where is the anger? From the Valentine's episode, you can tell that when she "got" Arnold, she would have been super upset and jealous about all this; she wouldn't put up with that bull. Is it just because of the character shift from Arnold to Wolfgant, that we didn't see it?
"What gives you the right? I'm one of the few who HAVEN'T slept with your wife." - trademark Helga Patacki snappy retort. Ha, I really do love that comeback though.
I wonder at statement at the end about Helga being strong. This was a short piece, so maybe I'm nit-picking. Just curious, did you consider some kind of exploration with this concept? Of Helga's strength and adultery by Arnold, I'm curious like Wolfgang as to why - why Arnold could cheat; is it really just a matter of being unable to deny temptation? Arnold just seemed floozy and Lila - temptation personified. Is it that simple? It feels like it could be, but then everything about Helga being strong, it makes me want to think there's more, and then it makes me want to know what it is. I guess, I'm still a little fuzzy on the idea behind all this. I feel like I'm missing something more significant than just the pleasure of reading it.
The recurring idea of peril at sea, is there something about that aside from all the images of chaos and sins and helplessness?
I read your writing! And I do try to write reviews. I type them out in word documents trying to find worthwhile things to say. It's hard because you're obviously an amazing writer; it's hard to find things to respond with. Sometimes I just read and am in awe of the way you put the words together. I will try to review more; will you please write and share more?
Wowza - that was hot. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this. It had a really fun suspenseful vibe to it. And when you snuck in those sing-songy rhymes, it made me think of Tragedy of Errors. It's very impressive how you manage that and it's really fun to read.
Lila as a vixen, temptress - it's been done before, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Something about her is just asking for it, and you pulled it off really well.
Arnold - recently, I stumbled upon "His Wedding Ring" and so, I could totally see this happening. You want to believe in the persevering good in Arnold, but something about the dark side in him that appeals to Helga ... kind of appeals to us too, hm? haha.
I agree with the other reviewer, SetRobOff, Helga was perfect. I don't know if it was your intention or not, if I read too much into little details too much, but I definitely felt like you showed her many facets. I saw her as more hurt, by the adultery, the way she sounded so sad when Arnold brushed her off and the ending where she though of her kids. But where is the anger? From the Valentine's episode, you can tell that when she "got" Arnold, she would have been super upset and jealous about all this; she wouldn't put up with that bull. Is it just because of the character shift from Arnold to Wolfgant, that we didn't see it?
"What gives you the right? I'm one of the few who HAVEN'T slept with your wife." - trademark Helga Patacki snappy retort. Ha, I really do love that comeback though.
I wonder at statement at the end about Helga being strong. This was a short piece, so maybe I'm nit-picking. Just curious, did you consider some kind of exploration with this concept? Of Helga's strength and adultery by Arnold, I'm curious like Wolfgang as to why - why Arnold could cheat; is it really just a matter of being unable to deny temptation? Arnold just seemed floozy and Lila - temptation personified. Is it that simple? It feels like it could be, but then everything about Helga being strong, it makes me want to think there's more, and then it makes me want to know what it is. I guess, I'm still a little fuzzy on the idea behind all this. I feel like I'm missing something more significant than just the pleasure of reading it.
The recurring idea of peril at sea, is there something about that aside from all the images of chaos and sins and helplessness?
I read your writing! And I do try to write reviews. I type them out in word documents trying to find worthwhile things to say. It's hard because you're obviously an amazing writer; it's hard to find things to respond with. Sometimes I just read and am in awe of the way you put the words together. I will try to review more; will you please write and share more?
6/27/2011 c1 
18NJay
Yeah I know how it is, but sometimes people really enjoy your story yet aren't sure what to say.
Would you rather have simple typical 'wow this was good!' instead of well written reviews that catch and discuss every corner of your fic?
All in all, I loved this, partly because I'm a big fan of the '30's-'40's era. Though many people would consider Arnold Out Of Character here it still clicked with me, even good sheep stray unless they stop themselves.
You caught Lila's expected 'seductress/tease' character perfectly and Arnold's constant courage of standing up to Wolfgang.
18NJayYeah I know how it is, but sometimes people really enjoy your story yet aren't sure what to say.
Would you rather have simple typical 'wow this was good!' instead of well written reviews that catch and discuss every corner of your fic?
All in all, I loved this, partly because I'm a big fan of the '30's-'40's era. Though many people would consider Arnold Out Of Character here it still clicked with me, even good sheep stray unless they stop themselves.
You caught Lila's expected 'seductress/tease' character perfectly and Arnold's constant courage of standing up to Wolfgang.
6/26/2011 c1 11SetRobOff
Wow! Although I'd never expect Arnold to deceive his wife by having an affair without even being the least bit apologetic to his wife or his mistress's husband, I still couldn't stop reading. It had a great old-western feel to it. Nicely done. It's so sad that he had to go though, leaving behind his wife and kids. But Helga was totally in character at the end(witty and sarcastic as usual). Good job!
11SetRobOffWow! Although I'd never expect Arnold to deceive his wife by having an affair without even being the least bit apologetic to his wife or his mistress's husband, I still couldn't stop reading. It had a great old-western feel to it. Nicely done. It's so sad that he had to go though, leaving behind his wife and kids. But Helga was totally in character at the end(witty and sarcastic as usual). Good job!