for Full Metal Shinobi8/21/2012 c1 
2Uzumaki Kitsunaka
Er, just so you know, you spelled "Susuke" and "Sakara" wrong throughout the entire thing. It's Sasuke and Sakura. And I like the fact that Neji is a girl. He looks like one in the chibi series.
2Uzumaki KitsunakaEr, just so you know, you spelled "Susuke" and "Sakara" wrong throughout the entire thing. It's Sasuke and Sakura. And I like the fact that Neji is a girl. He looks like one in the chibi series.
8/17/2012 c5 Luci
Really great story, hope you post the next chapter soon.
Really great story, hope you post the next chapter soon.
8/12/2011 c4 4silferdeath
So funny xD what would happen if sasuke let al his killer intend lose? Whould evry one laugh or look at himin terror xD he has the boddy of a six year old xD
Silferdeath
4silferdeathSo funny xD what would happen if sasuke let al his killer intend lose? Whould evry one laugh or look at himin terror xD he has the boddy of a six year old xD
Silferdeath
8/10/2011 c4 10Torn Apart Paper Dinosaur
That is a lot of things going to happen in the next chapter. I can't wait.
Keep writing.
:)
10Torn Apart Paper DinosaurThat is a lot of things going to happen in the next chapter. I can't wait.
Keep writing.
:)
7/22/2011 c3 10Torn Apart Paper Dinosaur
This is really cute. Keep at it, and can't wait for an update.
Is the next chapter going to be about central?
:D
10Torn Apart Paper DinosaurThis is really cute. Keep at it, and can't wait for an update.
Is the next chapter going to be about central?
:D
7/20/2011 c1 Too Lazy To Sign In
So far I've only read the first chapter but I've already seen some major flaws/mistakes. First the names: It's Sasuke and Sakura not Susuke and Sakara plus I'm pretty sure that Akamaru is just a really big dog... not a wolf. You also need to add way more detail to the surroundings, what the characters look like, how they sound, and ESPECIALLY what's happening. I kept finding myself completely lost while reading it due to the lack of detail. Then finally you need to proofread your story, (punctuation, capitalization, spelling) to really let the story flow well. But, I think your plot is pretty interesting and the fact that they changed genders/age/size. I do hope that there is a logical reason for that though, not just for giggles.
-I hope these tips will help you improve your writing. Good luck!
So far I've only read the first chapter but I've already seen some major flaws/mistakes. First the names: It's Sasuke and Sakura not Susuke and Sakara plus I'm pretty sure that Akamaru is just a really big dog... not a wolf. You also need to add way more detail to the surroundings, what the characters look like, how they sound, and ESPECIALLY what's happening. I kept finding myself completely lost while reading it due to the lack of detail. Then finally you need to proofread your story, (punctuation, capitalization, spelling) to really let the story flow well. But, I think your plot is pretty interesting and the fact that they changed genders/age/size. I do hope that there is a logical reason for that though, not just for giggles.
-I hope these tips will help you improve your writing. Good luck!
7/17/2011 c1 1Diabolical Shadow
there needs to be some more details in the surroundings and there are some punctuation errors but its a great story and i cant wait for more :) (query: will shikamaru or anyone else from konoha learn alchemy?)
1Diabolical Shadowthere needs to be some more details in the surroundings and there are some punctuation errors but its a great story and i cant wait for more :) (query: will shikamaru or anyone else from konoha learn alchemy?)
7/11/2011 c1 anon
Sasuke, Sakura.
Sasuke, Sakura.