4/26 c7 Guest
please update! its been so long!

10/18/2012 c7 Sakura Hostile
Okay, you promised a next chapter. and i know its been over a year. but im really really really hoping that you will continue this...will you? please pm me and let me know if i should keep my hopes up. just a small chapter would do me just fine. pleeease?

10/18/2012 c5 Sakura Hostile
super amazing chapter. really it is. i love how he leaves right when raimundo gets back...wimp...lol cant wait to read more

10/18/2012 c3 Sakura Hostile
another amazing chapter! i love this fic

10/18/2012 c1 Sakura Hostile
i really like what youre doing with this so far. and i agree with you about kimikos character being a no bull kinda gal

5/21/2012 c7 BRC46290
plllease update? i have ideas if u need them

1/18/2012 c7 19xStarxShinex
To call this absolutely brilliant would be an understatement. My dear, this story is truly a diamond in the rough of Raimundo x Kimiko fan fiction. It is utterly amazing and I was truly shocked by it. I'm ashamed to admit that I had little expectations for this story at first - and don't get the wrong idea. It's because many other Rai/Kim fan fictions have let me down, so I clicked on this one hoping for a miracle and - I got it!

Your writing is immaculate, your vocabulary is articulate and rich, and the plot line of this story is incredibly original from all the other Rai x Kim AU fan fictions. I was truly gobsmacked when I read this; your style of writing is the kind that lures a reader in and has them begging for more. Your descriptions and vast details paint a beautiful picture. From the beginning the setting that came to my mind was a very calm, country-like area and the simpleness of that made me feel at peace. I think setting is a very important thing in story and a lot of fan fiction writers - including myself most of the time - seem to forget that and get too caught up in describing other things, but you were able to establish a clear setting while adding other important components, as well. The way you write isn't too showy and doesn't have pointless details; every last detail is incorporated so well that they're absolutely necessary to have in the story. Your grammar is seemingly flawless and from what I witnessed, there were no typos.

I greatly admire how you portrayed Kimiko. I do agree with you - in the Hurt/Comfort AU's of Rai and Kim, Kimiko is always a helpless, fragile little girl who needs Raimundo to protect her from her biggest problem/fear. While I do think the concept of a "knight-in-shining-armor", if you will, is very sweet - if not a tad bit cliche - I do not believe Kimiko would be broken down so easily. One of the things I love about her in the show is that she's a tough-as-nails, kick-ass girl that doesn't take crap from nobody. She was perfectly in character throughout the story so far. I found myself smiling and cheering her on every time she fought back when Makoto tried to push her around - especially when it came to she beat him up so bad his arm had to be in a sling. You go, Kimiko!

Raimundo's personality is a breath of fresh air in your AU. While he still holds that cocky, boyish charm we all love, he isn't a total man whore like EVERY ONE seems to make him out to be. I can totally see how they would portray him as that - seeing as in the show he seems to be quite the ladies' man - but it gets rather redundant. I appreciate that you haven't brought up any exes of his or said how many times he's gotten laid or whatever. It just bothers me to see that so many people think he's slept with a lot of girls - I personally think that he's all talk and no action, ha ha! His relationship with Omi is very creative and very realistic. I would have never thought of Raimundo being a Big Brother/Little Brother type of guy, but it really does make sense when you think about it: he has so many brothers and sisters, so I'm sure family is an important thing to him.

Kimiko and Raimundo's relationship itself is just so ... real. You know what I mean? It's not like some fairytale crap - it's what a true relationship starts off to be! I am VERY thankful that you've made Kimiko be at arms-length with Rai. It is just RIDICULOUS when people make a victim of an abusive boyfriend suddenly feel all comfortable and open with a guy they've barely known, but for some reason they're able to spill their whole heart out to him because he "is their soulmate" or whatever. (Believe me, I did that before and it makes me feel embarrassed that I did so to this very day!) Kimiko acts how a real abuse victim should and I respect you for that. I do think their subtle flirting is very cute and sweet, though. :) I also like that they're getting closer, even if it is more to friendship than immediately a relationship. I personally think that a relationship should also be a friendship; that's why my boyfriend is my best friend! You need to be friends in order to make things work, after all.

I know it was your intention to get people to hate Makoto and you did just that: I LOATHE the douchebag. But, like I mentioned before with Kimiko acting like a true victim, he acts like a true abuser; he doesn't just hurt her physically, but also verbally and mentally. He breaks her down by saying that she needs a man in her life and that she is nothing without him; that she can't do a damn thing on her own. He stalks her and acts very possessive to her. That is JUST what an abusive boyfriend would do. They want to play mind games with their girlfriends so that they feel like they're absolutely worthless and need the abuser in their lives. You've got a great emotional atmosphere going on here. All the close encounters Makoto had of getting caught made me wishing that he WOULD have got caught and got the living daylight beaten out of him, but I know that would ruin the suspense of the story~.

The Clay in this story is different, too, but still in character. He's the same ol' hospitable cowboy that we adore, but he's more serious and mature and it adds greatly to the story. He respects Kimiko and knows that she can handle herself, but he also knows it's not right with the way Makoto treats her and knows that something should be done about it. The way Kimiko and Clay butt heads fits so well together. I imagine that you've purposely tried to make Clay the father/big brother type to Kimiko, yes?

Omi being an orphan at a Youth Center is BRILLIANT! It makes perfect sense, and Master Fung being the head is even better! As always, Omi's ignorance and arrogance makes me crack up. Plus, I think it's A LOT better that's he's 10 years old. I always pictured him to be so much younger than Clay, Raimundo, and Kimiko because of that childish ego he possesses. You did his character much justice, just like all the others. I also enjoyed Jermaine's small part in the story, hee hee.

I am truly on the tip of my toes waiting for an update. I've reread the whole story twice already, ha ha! It's been quite a while since your last update, and that makes me sad but I also understand. I know what it's like to be either extremely busy to update or that you've simply lost interest in that particular story. Happens to me all the time, sadly. I just want you to know that you've got an simply astounding story going on here and whenever you feel like updating it, I will be here waiting for it. You've got another fan loving your story, just like the many others you've got! No need to rush, but I can't wait to see a new update for this.

~xStarxShinex

1/14/2012 c6 Grape Icies
The whole thing was cute. Love how you included Jermaine. And softball is not a sport for wimps. XD that much I know.