for A Shinobi's Creed12/29/2012 c3 Diluvium
You'll gain attention. Honestly I thought you would keep Obito off the corps though, perfect setup for his journey to becoming Tobi. However this is AU and I figured that him putting up such a fight would lead to his re-admittance into the corps. I'm interested in how Kakashi will fair without the sharingan or a second eye.
You'll gain attention. Honestly I thought you would keep Obito off the corps though, perfect setup for his journey to becoming Tobi. However this is AU and I figured that him putting up such a fight would lead to his re-admittance into the corps. I'm interested in how Kakashi will fair without the sharingan or a second eye.
12/27/2012 c3 Guest
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...NEED MOR CHAPPYS U CANT JUST LEAV ME HANGIN HERE!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...NEED MOR CHAPPYS U CANT JUST LEAV ME HANGIN HERE!
12/26/2012 c3 
4Kingkakashi
Another top quality chapter from you without a doubt. I thought the trial was extremely well written and Obito's speech after the verdict was both poignant and emotionally impactful. I'm very curious to see what Rin's reaction will be when she learns of how Obito thinks of her as a shinobi. It's got to tear Obito apart to feel that way, but to also be in love with her as well. Thank you for the praise you gave me as a writer and for the shout-out of my story. I appreciate it very much.
I wish I had an answer for you as to why this story isn't garnering more interest from readers? My only suggestion to help with that would be for you to rewrite your public summary of the story and make it more exciting. The public summary of any story is important, because it's the first thing potential new readers see while they're browsing. And if the summary doesn't hook-them interest wise to click onto the story and give it a chance. Then they will just go past it and look for something else to read.
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I wish you a Happy New year.
4KingkakashiAnother top quality chapter from you without a doubt. I thought the trial was extremely well written and Obito's speech after the verdict was both poignant and emotionally impactful. I'm very curious to see what Rin's reaction will be when she learns of how Obito thinks of her as a shinobi. It's got to tear Obito apart to feel that way, but to also be in love with her as well. Thank you for the praise you gave me as a writer and for the shout-out of my story. I appreciate it very much.
I wish I had an answer for you as to why this story isn't garnering more interest from readers? My only suggestion to help with that would be for you to rewrite your public summary of the story and make it more exciting. The public summary of any story is important, because it's the first thing potential new readers see while they're browsing. And if the summary doesn't hook-them interest wise to click onto the story and give it a chance. Then they will just go past it and look for something else to read.
I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I wish you a Happy New year.
12/25/2012 c3 11Leaf Ranger
Oh those f$%-ing b #$-ards! I can't believe them! They discharged Obito over such bulls$%!
Heck, isn't the hwole point of Konoha the Will of FIre? Protecting your comrades? Giving your life to help them? Isn't that what the Nidaime, the sensei to the current Hokage and Shinobi Elders did? instead of ensuring that Konoha had it's strongest leader still alive, he sacrificed himself to protect his students.
Well you know what? F%& YOU KONOHA COUNCIL! F$% YOU SARUTOBI, YOU HYPOCRITCAL A$$-HOLE! AND F$% YOU YOU DRIED UP OLD PRUNES OF SHINOBI ELDERS! YOU ALL CAN F$%-ING SUCK IT IN H$!
Sorry, it jsut really freaking ** me off that Obito did soemthing that the previous two Hokages would applaud and commend him for, and instead he get's canned. IT'S NOT F$%-ING RIGHT!
*sighs*...this was a well written chapter. but I didn't like it. It ** me off.
Till next chapter then.
11Leaf RangerOh those f$%-ing b #$-ards! I can't believe them! They discharged Obito over such bulls$%!
Heck, isn't the hwole point of Konoha the Will of FIre? Protecting your comrades? Giving your life to help them? Isn't that what the Nidaime, the sensei to the current Hokage and Shinobi Elders did? instead of ensuring that Konoha had it's strongest leader still alive, he sacrificed himself to protect his students.
Well you know what? F%& YOU KONOHA COUNCIL! F$% YOU SARUTOBI, YOU HYPOCRITCAL A$$-HOLE! AND F$% YOU YOU DRIED UP OLD PRUNES OF SHINOBI ELDERS! YOU ALL CAN F$%-ING SUCK IT IN H$!
Sorry, it jsut really freaking ** me off that Obito did soemthing that the previous two Hokages would applaud and commend him for, and instead he get's canned. IT'S NOT F$%-ING RIGHT!
*sighs*...this was a well written chapter. but I didn't like it. It ** me off.
Till next chapter then.
7/19/2012 c2 Diluvium
Great story. Don't quit on it. I'm interested to see what you do with Kakashi. A story builds its fanbase over time keep updating with good chapters like this one and I'm sure you'll have tons of hits.
Great story. Don't quit on it. I'm interested to see what you do with Kakashi. A story builds its fanbase over time keep updating with good chapters like this one and I'm sure you'll have tons of hits.
6/5/2012 c2 5Voiceofsummer
You know I usually like to read the stories that aren't centred on Naruto... Lol.
Anyway I did find the Catholicism out of place, though that aside it's great to see Obio interact with his mum and that she accepts him. Though I can't wait to see the clan's reaction when they find out about the promotion and him awakening the sharingan.
It's nice to find a story on Obito that's well written so I hope you update soon :)
5VoiceofsummerYou know I usually like to read the stories that aren't centred on Naruto... Lol.
Anyway I did find the Catholicism out of place, though that aside it's great to see Obio interact with his mum and that she accepts him. Though I can't wait to see the clan's reaction when they find out about the promotion and him awakening the sharingan.
It's nice to find a story on Obito that's well written so I hope you update soon :)
4/4/2012 c2 naruto7155
Well Son of a ** he got a Promotion, XD that lucky ma. Also wassap! I know a late review but a review nonetheless! I think the dialogue was a lil rushed in the Hiruzen and Obito talk, but it was ok, more descriptive and a lil sensory detail would have helped. In the Mom/son moment I smiled and life cause that is something my mom would say too XD, and something tells me his daddy ain't a chipper guy. A glimpse at the Uchiha territory definitely fits with their cocky smug adittudes. So they can go ** themselves!, except the mom, and Itachi, and Mikoto. The priest part got me thinking...are there really priests in narutoverse? I mean the one from the movie doesn't count, but it's just my curiosity. A really good continuation, so keep it up!, good luck in college and ROTC, kick some ** and take some names and do it while looking sexy! XD, Anyways, peace!
Well Son of a ** he got a Promotion, XD that lucky ma. Also wassap! I know a late review but a review nonetheless! I think the dialogue was a lil rushed in the Hiruzen and Obito talk, but it was ok, more descriptive and a lil sensory detail would have helped. In the Mom/son moment I smiled and life cause that is something my mom would say too XD, and something tells me his daddy ain't a chipper guy. A glimpse at the Uchiha territory definitely fits with their cocky smug adittudes. So they can go ** themselves!, except the mom, and Itachi, and Mikoto. The priest part got me thinking...are there really priests in narutoverse? I mean the one from the movie doesn't count, but it's just my curiosity. A really good continuation, so keep it up!, good luck in college and ROTC, kick some ** and take some names and do it while looking sexy! XD, Anyways, peace!
2/4/2012 c2 1Diluvium
A good story. I think it will get more popular since the side characters you choose are popular. If anyone is looking for Kakashi and Obito then they're probably hoping for a story on Kakashi Gaiden.Also Rin is not an Inuzuka. Inuzuka have red fang marks on they're cheeks, Rin has purple ones. I hope that you could find time to update again this month.
1DiluviumA good story. I think it will get more popular since the side characters you choose are popular. If anyone is looking for Kakashi and Obito then they're probably hoping for a story on Kakashi Gaiden.Also Rin is not an Inuzuka. Inuzuka have red fang marks on they're cheeks, Rin has purple ones. I hope that you could find time to update again this month.
2/4/2012 c2 11batfan94
Awesome job with this! Out of all the "What If" scenarios with Obito surviving, this is at the top of my list! and while i thought your oc priest was a little out of place, i actually enjoyed the exchange between him and obito. well done! congrats on a job well done. this is soooo going in my favs!
11batfan94Awesome job with this! Out of all the "What If" scenarios with Obito surviving, this is at the top of my list! and while i thought your oc priest was a little out of place, i actually enjoyed the exchange between him and obito. well done! congrats on a job well done. this is soooo going in my favs!
2/3/2012 c2 MercheGlee
loving the story so far! :)
you're doing a great job! i'll be waiting for the next chapter.
loving the story so far! :)
you're doing a great job! i'll be waiting for the next chapter.
2/3/2012 c2 4Kingkakashi
Another good chapter from you on this story. I like the parallels you're doing with Kakashi, Obito, and Rin to Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura of the future. Kakashi not having a sharingan is going to prove challenging for you to write. I wasn't upset about the OC Father Callahan, but when I first read it, I don't know, it just didn't seem to fit for the tale. Catholicism seems out of place to me in a story where the background or timeline is steeped in a Medieval Eastern society. Anyway, keep up the great work and I look forward to reading the next update very soon.
4KingkakashiAnother good chapter from you on this story. I like the parallels you're doing with Kakashi, Obito, and Rin to Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura of the future. Kakashi not having a sharingan is going to prove challenging for you to write. I wasn't upset about the OC Father Callahan, but when I first read it, I don't know, it just didn't seem to fit for the tale. Catholicism seems out of place to me in a story where the background or timeline is steeped in a Medieval Eastern society. Anyway, keep up the great work and I look forward to reading the next update very soon.
2/2/2012 c2 LunarCatNinja
Nice, and I can see how the story could go if he got suspended, or not suspended, and while I would like it if he didn't get suspended, or punished, I will be okay with whatever you decide to do. ≡∩W∩≡
Nice, and I can see how the story could go if he got suspended, or not suspended, and while I would like it if he didn't get suspended, or punished, I will be okay with whatever you decide to do. ≡∩W∩≡
2/2/2012 c2 11Wyrtha
Good second chapter. Liked the insight on Obito's home life. Man the Uchiha are just a bunch of teme's. Glad he has at least his mom, although it seems like both mother and son have issues with papa.
I also hope Obito goes on to find a nice girl to settle down with. He seems to have a good template to start with in his mother. Of course going through a few of the wrong ones to get to the right isn't bad either, it can even be fun :)
I'm just wondering when Hiruzen will finally give up the ghost. I guess whenever the war is over is when he finally steps down. I will be interested to see when both events happen in your story.
Obito is very much like Naruto only with a powerful Kekkai instead of demon sealed inside of him. I find this particular non-Naruto story so far a good read
As for the priest. I would have preferred if it had been a monk(s) from the temple helping out in a time of war. But I understand writing what you know and it was okay.
Look forward to the next chapter. Obito should be fine as it would be assinine for them to decommission or even suspend a ninja during war time for what he did unless he is betrayed by Minato or Kakashi.
11WyrthaGood second chapter. Liked the insight on Obito's home life. Man the Uchiha are just a bunch of teme's. Glad he has at least his mom, although it seems like both mother and son have issues with papa.
I also hope Obito goes on to find a nice girl to settle down with. He seems to have a good template to start with in his mother. Of course going through a few of the wrong ones to get to the right isn't bad either, it can even be fun :)
I'm just wondering when Hiruzen will finally give up the ghost. I guess whenever the war is over is when he finally steps down. I will be interested to see when both events happen in your story.
Obito is very much like Naruto only with a powerful Kekkai instead of demon sealed inside of him. I find this particular non-Naruto story so far a good read
As for the priest. I would have preferred if it had been a monk(s) from the temple helping out in a time of war. But I understand writing what you know and it was okay.
Look forward to the next chapter. Obito should be fine as it would be assinine for them to decommission or even suspend a ninja during war time for what he did unless he is betrayed by Minato or Kakashi.