for Thicker than water9/22/2012 c21 nancy1223
i love your stoy and i hope eve can save zim out of the place where dib is keeping zim luck and hope you upload sooner and you doing great
i love your stoy and i hope eve can save zim out of the place where dib is keeping zim luck and hope you upload sooner and you doing great
9/19/2012 c21 xLilSugaBabyx
(too lazy to log in her OWN account)
I have a feeling I've already read this...
(too lazy to log in her OWN account)
I have a feeling I've already read this...
9/14/2012 c21 Guest
As the wise old fry said only I put in my own words, update! Update! Update! ...update! Update! Lol I'm still hanging on too this story. Go eve! Kick big heads arse
As the wise old fry said only I put in my own words, update! Update! Update! ...update! Update! Lol I'm still hanging on too this story. Go eve! Kick big heads arse
2/5/2012 c1 Two Best Friends
Reader Number One:
Hello dear! I'd just like to point out some grammatical errors in your story.
1.) PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAPITALIZE YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME. This is a basic rule that you should practice before posting.
2.) Dib and Zim have two people sitting between them, not just one! You could probably get away with this so don't feel pressured to change it, just know that you're wrong! :3
3.) Your character, although having good potential, is a bit of a Mary-Sue. Not very bad, but she has a few flaws and could use some work.
4.) Oh, wow, Gaz giggled? I’m sorry, that’s just really OOC and I just… well.
5.) And now for something you should have learned in your basic English class; COMMAS ARE IMPORTANT. They actually make people sound like they are talking, and it’s kind of awesome to not have to guess. Periods are pretty cool too; just sayin’.
6.) It would have made things a lot easier if you had started stating her name in the beginning. Honestly, when we read that she was talking to herself, we thought it was some horrid misspelling of ‘I’ve’. Which goes back to Rule Number One, and makes everything easier for everyone.
7.) I’m sorry, but I’ve read so many fanfiction stories exactly like this; the new kid, who’s goth/punk/whatever, goes to a school and makes friends with Gaz and will probably start dating Dib or Zim. Please read some other horrible stories you can find here and find a plot that isn’t overused. Thinking outside the box is fun! :DDDDD
8.) Ms. Bitters seems kind of generic. Try not to steal the words right out of people’s mouths, she’s a really interesting character and you can at least try to make up new dialogue.
9.) A beta is really important and needed in some cases. This is one of those cases.
10.) THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THIS IS NOT MY IMMORTAL. Yet. You should probably work on that, hun. :P
11.) You should probably capitalize band names too. And the titles. Also, review the summary and make sure everything is OK.
Reader Number Two:
Hello there! I first want to say that I think it is great that you put some work into this and have allowed yourself so much creative license.
1) Your character has potential.
2) Your grammar is not the end of the world.
3) Though I have never seen Invader Zim, I am certain your characters were very in character. I really don’t know, so brush up on that.
4) I like the name eve. Or, as I like to spell it, Eve.
5) I love the “spidery old woman” description. She is currently my favorite character solely because of your glowing description of her unique mannerisms.
6) I find it so cool how their eyes can ‘shoot daggers from their ice-cold stares at each other’. I wasn’t aware that people’s eyes could shoot daggers at each other. I want to see this in action, I may watch this show just because I want to see it in action.
7) I did spy a comma!
8) You use some lovely vocabulary, especially in the beginning.
9) Your writing style reminds me of Stephanie Meyer ;)
Keep on writing and improving your work. I know you can do it!
Reader Number One:
I know my critiques seem harsh, which they probably are, but I’m a brash person and trying to help. Trust me, I was a horrible writer at first and still need to improve on some things. (We both were, actually. Reader Two just doesn’t want to admit it.) Just keep trying, keep on working, and you’ll get there someday! WE BELIEVE IN YOU!
3,
Two best friends who are really bored at like three in the morning so humor us we’re sleep deprived. GOOD NIGHT
Reader Number One:
Hello dear! I'd just like to point out some grammatical errors in your story.
1.) PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAPITALIZE YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME. This is a basic rule that you should practice before posting.
2.) Dib and Zim have two people sitting between them, not just one! You could probably get away with this so don't feel pressured to change it, just know that you're wrong! :3
3.) Your character, although having good potential, is a bit of a Mary-Sue. Not very bad, but she has a few flaws and could use some work.
4.) Oh, wow, Gaz giggled? I’m sorry, that’s just really OOC and I just… well.
5.) And now for something you should have learned in your basic English class; COMMAS ARE IMPORTANT. They actually make people sound like they are talking, and it’s kind of awesome to not have to guess. Periods are pretty cool too; just sayin’.
6.) It would have made things a lot easier if you had started stating her name in the beginning. Honestly, when we read that she was talking to herself, we thought it was some horrid misspelling of ‘I’ve’. Which goes back to Rule Number One, and makes everything easier for everyone.
7.) I’m sorry, but I’ve read so many fanfiction stories exactly like this; the new kid, who’s goth/punk/whatever, goes to a school and makes friends with Gaz and will probably start dating Dib or Zim. Please read some other horrible stories you can find here and find a plot that isn’t overused. Thinking outside the box is fun! :DDDDD
8.) Ms. Bitters seems kind of generic. Try not to steal the words right out of people’s mouths, she’s a really interesting character and you can at least try to make up new dialogue.
9.) A beta is really important and needed in some cases. This is one of those cases.
10.) THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THIS IS NOT MY IMMORTAL. Yet. You should probably work on that, hun. :P
11.) You should probably capitalize band names too. And the titles. Also, review the summary and make sure everything is OK.
Reader Number Two:
Hello there! I first want to say that I think it is great that you put some work into this and have allowed yourself so much creative license.
1) Your character has potential.
2) Your grammar is not the end of the world.
3) Though I have never seen Invader Zim, I am certain your characters were very in character. I really don’t know, so brush up on that.
4) I like the name eve. Or, as I like to spell it, Eve.
5) I love the “spidery old woman” description. She is currently my favorite character solely because of your glowing description of her unique mannerisms.
6) I find it so cool how their eyes can ‘shoot daggers from their ice-cold stares at each other’. I wasn’t aware that people’s eyes could shoot daggers at each other. I want to see this in action, I may watch this show just because I want to see it in action.
7) I did spy a comma!
8) You use some lovely vocabulary, especially in the beginning.
9) Your writing style reminds me of Stephanie Meyer ;)
Keep on writing and improving your work. I know you can do it!
Reader Number One:
I know my critiques seem harsh, which they probably are, but I’m a brash person and trying to help. Trust me, I was a horrible writer at first and still need to improve on some things. (We both were, actually. Reader Two just doesn’t want to admit it.) Just keep trying, keep on working, and you’ll get there someday! WE BELIEVE IN YOU!
3,
Two best friends who are really bored at like three in the morning so humor us we’re sleep deprived. GOOD NIGHT
12/29/2011 c18 
2ShadowCat98
Dib...I think you've finally actually gone insane...WELCOME TO THE MADHOUSE BUDDY! But,uh,you are threatening a half vampire...with glass...to expose an alien to your dad...I've lost my point!
Again,awesome chapter and that leads to this: PLEASE UPDATE AGAIN!
XD
Shadow
2ShadowCat98Dib...I think you've finally actually gone insane...WELCOME TO THE MADHOUSE BUDDY! But,uh,you are threatening a half vampire...with glass...to expose an alien to your dad...I've lost my point!
Again,awesome chapter and that leads to this: PLEASE UPDATE AGAIN!
XD
Shadow