3/13/2012 c1 32Scraggles
Okay, you sealed a favorite out of me when you mentioned a Seven/Cater/Sice sandwich and Deuce/Cinque boob grabs. The other sleeping positions were epic as well, but those two took the cake, which, unlike the moogle, is not a lie. I think they're going to be stuck in my head all day. Props!

9/25/2011 c1 29WriteFF13
I really liked the story, but how in the world did you put this story under Final Fantasy Agito XIII? I had to put mine under FF13!

8/27/2011 c1 9Greykeys
Currently running on borrowed time so I have to make this quick.

Crit:

I don't think it's really necessary to refer to the Moogle as "M.O.O.G.L.E" all the time; it's much cleaner, neater and it's not as distracting if it's just "Moogle." It'll also be a lot more easier and faster to type. The only place I think that fit well with writing it like that, was when you explained what it stood for. But everything else, it wasn't really needed.

ORIG. - "...flinched at the M.O.G.G.L.E.'s eye contact."

FIX. - "...flinched at the M.O.O.G.L.E.'s eye contact."

ORIG. - "...very own personal M.O.G.G.L.E."

FIX. - "...very own personal M.O.O.G.L.E."

See how it's so easy to make simple mistakes if you write it this way? Trust me, writing "Moogle" will save time and keep errors from re-occuring.

ORIG. - "...M.O.O.G.L.E. watched when Class Zero lined up in front of Kurasame's desk as usual for their assignments. It cheerfully gave each and every member on what their quests were and what to bring to each location."

FIX. - "...M.O.O.G.L.E. watched as Class Zero lined up in front of Kurasame's desk for their usual assignments. It cheerfully explained to every member the necessary requirements to succeed, and the equipment needed for each location."

The wording for this paragraph felt off, so I rephrased it.

ORIG. - "...Aren't you suppose to get your quest today, Luna?"

FIX. - "...Aren't you supposed to get your quest today, Luna?"

ORIG. - "...knew Class Zero were so great at sleeping.."

FIX. - "...knew Class Zero was so great at sleeping.."

OR if you prefer "were"

FIX. - "...knew the students of Class Zero were so great at sleeping.."

PRAISE:

Truthfully I found this more amusing than horrifying or frightening. Despite stating there are no implied pairings, my yuri and yaoi goggles are on par with my grammar's vision. :D Trust me, even IF it wasn't your intention at all, these invisible goggles can see the endless possibilities of several pairings.

I spy a delicious threesome with Sice/Cater/Seven, Cinque/Deuce, Nine/Eight..so many possibilities. Unfortunately I'm running out of time, so I'll check back later for the rest of new published stories I see in Type-0's archive. I seem to have missed so much!

8/27/2011 c1 4Oblivion Star Seeker
That was...pretty scary to read. D: I can never look at Mog the same way again! Oh noes!

8/27/2011 c1 zeon-06
OMG! It's the devil in disguise! I'm never gonna be able to look at a moogle in the same light ever again...hahah..nice one!