for Swimming Lessons2/19/2012 c5 LifeandFire25
So you got me I thought that it had really happened. Then to find out it was a story verric had made up. Great stuff.
So you got me I thought that it had really happened. Then to find out it was a story verric had made up. Great stuff.
1/23/2012 c6 Toyroys
This made my day... amazing fic, I love your authorstyle... and the ending was the best one I ever read... hehe... aww... Varric and isabela... what would we do without them...
This made my day... amazing fic, I love your authorstyle... and the ending was the best one I ever read... hehe... aww... Varric and isabela... what would we do without them...
1/9/2012 c6 
1Kurumi Uchiha
LOL! Varric and his storys... one of the best characters in the whole games word! xD
I just loved it...
Oh! I realy, REALLY want to read Isabella's chapter ~
1Kurumi UchihaLOL! Varric and his storys... one of the best characters in the whole games word! xD
I just loved it...
Oh! I realy, REALLY want to read Isabella's chapter ~
1/7/2012 c6 love-songs-make-me-cry
You and your lovely awesomeness that makes me tingle...you are a freaking god.
You and your lovely awesomeness that makes me tingle...you are a freaking god.
12/8/2011 c6 10A Timid Soul
Brilliant! Absolutley Brilliant! I thouroughly enjoyed myself throughout this whole story. Thanks for posting!
10A Timid SoulBrilliant! Absolutley Brilliant! I thouroughly enjoyed myself throughout this whole story. Thanks for posting!
12/8/2011 c6 3Curls101
This is amazing! I love the emotion in the characters and your touching take on the Hawke-Fenris relationship! Please, write more of these in the future!
3Curls101This is amazing! I love the emotion in the characters and your touching take on the Hawke-Fenris relationship! Please, write more of these in the future!
10/28/2011 c5 7FeZeTh13
Wow. I wasn't expecting this, but I love it. I can't wait to see what happens next!
7FeZeTh13Wow. I wasn't expecting this, but I love it. I can't wait to see what happens next!
10/27/2011 c5 Aesir23
Another excellent chapter, but you should put something to show the change in POV. When it jumped right from Hawke's POV to Fenris' it was a little confusing at first.
Another excellent chapter, but you should put something to show the change in POV. When it jumped right from Hawke's POV to Fenris' it was a little confusing at first.
10/3/2011 c4 7FeZeTh13
Love this! Thank you for updating! I love how you portray their relationship after 'that night'. this is pretty how much I imagined it. Some awkwardness but a good friendship all the same. I was suprised when I read that she had been floating for an hour and had the same reaction as Hawke. Haha! This is great and brightened up my day! I look forward to the next one. :D
7FeZeTh13Love this! Thank you for updating! I love how you portray their relationship after 'that night'. this is pretty how much I imagined it. Some awkwardness but a good friendship all the same. I was suprised when I read that she had been floating for an hour and had the same reaction as Hawke. Haha! This is great and brightened up my day! I look forward to the next one. :D
10/3/2011 c4 10A Timid Soul
Fantastic, as always. And only one more chapter? *Frowns* Bummer. This was so much fun to read. Can't wait for the next one, though!
10A Timid SoulFantastic, as always. And only one more chapter? *Frowns* Bummer. This was so much fun to read. Can't wait for the next one, though!
10/3/2011 c4 8xseikax
Very nice! I like the bit of tension you wrote, I was almost feeling the heat myself! XD I really hope they admit they still have feelings for each other! I can't wait until the next chapter!
8xseikaxVery nice! I like the bit of tension you wrote, I was almost feeling the heat myself! XD I really hope they admit they still have feelings for each other! I can't wait until the next chapter!
9/21/2011 c3 10A Timid Soul
This just keeps getting better and better. I especially liked the ending with her floundering around for that moment. A nice little pick-me-up after a long day of school.
And did you by chance say Latin? Like the "Arma virumque cano" Latin?
10A Timid SoulThis just keeps getting better and better. I especially liked the ending with her floundering around for that moment. A nice little pick-me-up after a long day of school.
And did you by chance say Latin? Like the "Arma virumque cano" Latin?
9/17/2011 c1 7BuriedBeneath
A very nice, enjoyable read, and well-written for the most part.
A couple of minor things I will mention though:
1. Be careful of your verb tenses. While it wasn't overwhelming, there were a couple of areas where you switched from past to present tense.
Example: "Fenris groaned,[past tense] I need some sleep. Grabbing his sword off the wall next to him, Fenris finds [present tense] a corner facing the door and attempts to fall asleep."
2. Be sure to start a new paragraph with a new speaker in dialogue. (This is to avoid confusion with speakers and is more aesthetically pleasing to the reader.)
Example: "Varric chuckled shaking his head, 'Well one, your hung-over, and two, you are avoiding talking to her like she's the blight but you keep staring at her **!' [start a new paragraph here] Fenris groaned 'I am not staring-'"
Other than those very minor crits, very enjoyable first chapter. If there is anything noteworthy enough for me to offer some constructive criticism in the next chapters, I'll be sure to review.
7BuriedBeneathA very nice, enjoyable read, and well-written for the most part.
A couple of minor things I will mention though:
1. Be careful of your verb tenses. While it wasn't overwhelming, there were a couple of areas where you switched from past to present tense.
Example: "Fenris groaned,[past tense] I need some sleep. Grabbing his sword off the wall next to him, Fenris finds [present tense] a corner facing the door and attempts to fall asleep."
2. Be sure to start a new paragraph with a new speaker in dialogue. (This is to avoid confusion with speakers and is more aesthetically pleasing to the reader.)
Example: "Varric chuckled shaking his head, 'Well one, your hung-over, and two, you are avoiding talking to her like she's the blight but you keep staring at her **!' [start a new paragraph here] Fenris groaned 'I am not staring-'"
Other than those very minor crits, very enjoyable first chapter. If there is anything noteworthy enough for me to offer some constructive criticism in the next chapters, I'll be sure to review.